Movie Review - Obsessed (2009)

Starring Idris Elba, Beyoncé Knowles, Ali Larter, and Jerry O'Connell

Written by David Loughery

Directed by Steve Shill

The fact that the original title of this movie was Oh No She Didn't should tell you something. If they had kept that title, at least I could've said that the studio knew they had shit on their hands with this film. Changing it to the boring Obsessed, unfortunately, gives away that this is the most generic of "thrillers" that brings absolutely nothing new to the table.

Derek Charles (Elba) is a successful businessman who has a wonderful wife, Sharon (Beyoncé), and a cute kid. A perfect life. His world is turned upside down when a new temp, Lisa (Larter), is hired at his office. She's hot (apparently...because we're told that multiple times) and she wants to get with Derek from the get-go -- She'll screw him by a urinal in the men's room -- she doesn't care because she's that cra-a-a-a-zy!!! When Derek says "No", Lisa doesn't take that for an answer and sets out to ruin his life.

Obsessed is essentially a Lifetime movie with a bigger budget so that Beyoncé can wear boots with 8-inch heels and have a bunch of different weaves for her hair. I was watching this flick and couldn't help but think I had written something like this in sixth grade. In fact, back in middle school, I remember writing a "book" called "FRIeND" (don't ask me why the 'e' was lower-cased...it just was) about a girl who turned into this obsessive nut and tried to kill everyone who wouldn't let her be friends with some particular girl. I mean, I wrote this 100-page "book" in middle school that was just as good as this.

And it's not just the script that's a failure. The direction is atrocious. There are scenes where someone is talking and there were seemingly five cuts before the person was even done speaking their lines. Just cut, cut, cut, cut cut. And don't even get me started on the scene where Derek is drunk and for some reason the camera gets all fuzzy. Now, if the camera were showing things from Derek's perspective, that'd be one thing (we've all seen that shot before). But the camera was looking at Derek...it was weird and wrong. We get music-video interludes, too...montages set to generic R&B songs.

As for the actors, Idris Elba is as dull as can be. He was an extraordinarily boring presence onscreen. That being said, he's no match for the awfulness that is Ali Larter. Ms. Larter is one of the reasons I stopped watching the tv show Heroes (well...her acting and the fact that the show was awful in general). How this woman has acting jobs is beyond me. I mean, it's not like she's even that good-looking. She's incredibly generic in terms of her looks (I realize I've been throwing around the term "generic" a lot in this review, but that's what everything about this movie was). When Beyoncé is the best actor in the movie, you know there's something wrong.

My biggest problem with the film is this....WARNING...THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD...

Beyoncé's "wife character" has a very small role in the first 80 minutes of the film. She's essentially seen talking on the phone to her hubby. Her role is minimal. For the end fight scene, however, it's all about Beyoncé fighting Lisa (sure, I could've said Sharon fighting Lisa, but let's be honest here...Beyoncé's just being Beyoncé...she's not really playing a character). Anyway, it's a showdown between the two broads. The sole reason for this is simply for the presumably African American female audience that will flock to this film to be able to take pride in Beyoncé onscreen. I don't mean that in any type of negative way...it's just that has to be the only reason it ended like it ended. The husband was completely absent from the climax of the film...and the whole film up until that point was about him. And the final shot of the film...a freeze frame on Beyoncé. Why?!?!?! If the movie was about her, put her in it more! (On second thought, don't do that, please.)

I will say that I wasn't necessarily bored during this movie. I wasn't constantly looking at my watch...and that's an enigma to me...because this movie really wasn't the least bit good. For some reason, though, it kept my attention. Because of that, it escaped the dreaded 'F' grade that Mamma Mia and Lakeview Terrace were unable to elude.

The RyMickey Rating: D-