Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Jon Favreau, James Badge Dale, Paul Bettany (voice), and Ben Kingsley 

Directed by Shane Black

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The (current) RyMickey Rating:  B

Click here for my previous RyMickey Rating

Iron Man 2

 Iron Man 2 (2010)

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johannson, Sam Rockwell, Paul Bettany (voice), and Mickey Rourke

Directed by Jon Favreau

Written by Justin Theroux

Click here for my Letterboxd review

Click here for my prior RyMickey's Ramblings review

The RyMickey Rating:  B-

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Starring Alden Ehrenreich, Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Joonas Suotamo, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Jon Favreau, and Paul Bettany

Directed by Ron Howard

Written by Jonathan Kasdan and Lawrence Kasdan

Summary (in 500 words or less):  The back story of how Han Solo became Han Solo is essentially a heist movie about how our title character (Alden Ehrenreich) teams up with a group of mercenaries to complete a mission to snag some specialty fuel.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - Captain America: Civil War

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Starring Chris Evans, Robert Downey, Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Emily VanCamp, Tom Holland, Daniel Brühl, William Hurt, Martin Freeman, John Slattery, Alfre Woodard, and Marisa Tomei

Directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

The casts of these Marvel movies just keep growing -- I can't tag nearly all of those famous people in the labels attached to this review -- but the films following the Avengers team saga keep getting better so I approve of the multiplying ensemble.  Captain America: Civil War certainly has its epic action sequences, but it's the Marvel movie that feels the most grounded in reality -- of course, it's a reality filled with flying, shrinking, web-slinging, and energy manipulating superheroes, but it's the most realistic Marvel depiction of these folks yet.  Without aliens desiring to wreak havoc or supervillains intent on literally raising cities off of the Earth, Captain America: Civil War pits Iron Man Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) and Captain America Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) against one another as they try to determine the Avengers' place in the world.

Building off the events of The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Civil War asks the question as to whether the Avengers do more harm than good.  Following the devastating damage the Avengers helped to cause when taking down Ultron who was intent on destroying Sokovia, worldwide agencies want to make the Avengers answer to a governing body in an attempt to keep them from simply running rampant across the world.  Sure they do good, but the Avengers are also reckless at times.  Tony Stark is amenable to this treatise, but Steve Rogers feels that it will severely inhibit the Avengers' ability to fight evil.  Our superheroes -- Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Falcon (Anthony Mackie), War Machine (Don Cheadle), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), Ant-Man (Paul Rudd), and the newest member Spider-Man (Tom Holland) -- take sides, all while Captain America tries to figure out if his former buddy Bucky Barnes AKA the Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan) is responsible for an attack on the United Nations-esque body that is responsible for instituting the Sokovia Accords.

For me -- someone who isn't a huge comic book movie fan, despite having seen all of the new era of Marvel films -- the biggest reason for the success of Captain America: Civil War (which isn't really a Captain America movie so much as another Avengers picture) is that the villains here aren't foreign entities like superhuman computers or outer space creatures, but based in reality.  Add to that, the tension that arises within the Avengers group themselves is surprisingly palpable and dramatically effective.  Plus, in typical Marvel fashion, the film knows when to lighten things up, creating nice pops of humor when the heavier story desperately needs it.  The Russo Brothers who did a great job with Captain America: Winter Soldier do an even better job here and I look forward to what they can bring to the oftentimes over-bloated Avengers films.

The character of Captain America is one that didn't start out successful for me in the slightest.  In fact, the original Captain America film is one of my least favorites in the Marvel canon.  However, as the character of Steve Rogers has grown and developed, he's become compelling and captivating.  Placing him front and center here in a battle against some of his former allies creates what I think is the best Marvel film to date.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Mortdecai

Mortdecai (2015)

Starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, and Olivia Munn

Directed by David Koepp

***This film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime***

I'm not sure movies can come worse that Mortdecai.  A purported comedy, not only did I not laugh once, but I never even found a smile forming on my face.  Johnny Depp is the title character -- an art dealer, but also a bit of a deviant conniver, willing to be a bit unscrupulous in order to try and save his vast English countryside estate from going under due to back taxes.  When an assailant kills an art restorer and steals a priceless painting, Inspector Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) enlists Mortdecai's help to try and track the painting.

The problem with Mortdecai - and it's a major problem - is that the film is a jumbled mess in tone and style.  I guess one would call it a spoof of a heist flick, but director David Koepp's cinematic mess never once finds its footing.  There are mild attempts at sex comedy that fall undeniably flat, seemingly in place only to gain the film an R-rating, but even they are so childishly risqué that it seems incomprehensible that the filmmakers felt like a R-rating was the way to go with this one (which is perhaps why you can watch a PG-13 version on Amazon Prime as well).  Action sequences feel out of place and poorly staged, lacking any semblance of excitement.  Dramatic moments are played for laughs which, since this is a spoof, could have been fine, but they play out with excruciatingly mind-numbingly idiocy.

Depp plays Mortdecai so incredibly over-the-top when compared to the rest of the cast (who only play things somewhat over-the-top) that he stands out like a "character" amongst more "real" people which is never a good thing.  Everything about his performance and everything about the movie is so heinously misguided by the director and the screenwriter that after twenty minutes, I desperately wanted to turn it off, but willed myself onward so I could finalize my Worst Films of 2015 list.

I could go on with this one, but quite frankly, I'm already so irritated that I've allowed my life to spend so much time dealing with this one.  Mortdecai is undeniably one of the worst films I've ever reviewed on this blog.

The RyMickey Rating:  F

Movie Review - Avengers: Age of Ultron

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, Cobie Smulders, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Samuel L. Jackson, and James Spader

Directed by Joss Whedon

Back in 2012, everyone fell head over heels for The Avengers -- everyone except for me, that is.  I didn't dislike the film as my C+ review attests, but I found it overblown and a bit underwhelming with the action sequences working, but many of the dialog and character-driven moments disappointing.  Oddly enough, Avengers: Age of Ultron has just the opposite problem with its character-based scenes working surprisingly well and its action aspects sorely lacking.  Considering both films were written and directed by Joss Whedon, the contrasting differences are a bit startling and, as the rating below will attest, end up being about equal in terms of how I felt overall about the flick.

Once again, our Avenger crew bands together to fight something gigantically evil.  Rather than aliens, though, this time it's a form of advanced artificial intelligence that Iron Man Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr) created in secret in order to try and assist should the world face another huge attack as occurred during the first film.  After a bit of a tête-á-tête about the necessity of AI to help, Tony, Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) head out to find Ultron (James Spader), the AI that has created a robot body for himself and set out to destroy humanity with the help of two Russian twins Pietro and Wanda Maximoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen) who want to bring down the Avengers due to an incident from their childhood caused by one of our fearless fighting crew that changed their lives forever.

Story-wise, I think the film is actually more successful than its predecessor.  I enjoyed the camaraderie between the heroic crew which I felt was sorely lacking in the first film as well as the deviousness of Ultron and the twins.  Knowing nothing about the comics upon which the films are based, Ultron was deliciously snide and humorously villainous.  Perhaps that isn't his demeanor in the comics, but on film, Spader voiced the character with such over-the-top charisma that I couldn't help but long for the character to appear again to liven things up.  Plus, I think it helped things that Ultron's villainous intentions stemmed from the chaos inflicted in the first film.

Unfortunately, the film's action set pieces just didn't work for me.  During the opening scene which includes slow motion AND seemingly sped up moments, I found myself vehemently annoyed, feeling as if I were watching a poorly conceived video game as opposed to a movie.  Fortunately, things got a little better after that, but I still went through the whole movie thinking that the action sequences felt less integral to the plot than nearly any other Marvel flick and were put into place simply because "we need an action scene now."  Whereas Whedon seemingly had control of these moments in the first Avengers, he disappointed here.

Overall, though, Avengers: Age of Ultron works.  The flick is briskly paced and despite disliking the more "intense" moments, I never found them overblown or overlong.  The interplay between the core group of Avengers is growing more natural and I'm oddly looking forward to what the Marvel Universe has in store for these characters.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - Transcendence

Transcendence (2014)

Starring Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany, Cillian Murphy, Kate Mara, Clifton Collins Jr., and Morgan Freeman

Directed by Wally Pfister

Conceptually, Transcendence is probably one of the more interesting films I've seen as of late.  Will Caster (Johnny Depp) is the mastermind behind a sentient computer which he hopes will outpace the human race in terms of intelligence.  While Caster and his wife Evelyn (Rebecca Hall) see potential in such technology, there are large swaths of people who fear such work will bring an end to humankind.  One such group -- R.I.F.T., or "Revolutionary Independence From Technology" -- goes to terroristic means in order to get their point across, and after a conference in which Will Caster touts his opinions, Will is shot by a RIFT member who then kills himself.  After a few days, it's discovered the bullet shot into Will was laced with plutonium, thus causing Will's bloodstream to be contaminated with radiation leaving him with less than a month to live.  Desperate for Will's dream about sentient technology not to die with him, Evelyn thinks up the idea to place Will's entire consciousness inside the computer he's developing so that his "spirit" will never die and his intelligence can continue making technological advances.  Unfortunately, things go a bit awry with this plan, creating a bit of havoc and a battle between man and machine.

I don't know about you, but I kind of dig that Terminator-esque Man v. Computer battle being set up. Unfortunately, first-time director Wally Pfister languidly paces the film so that we can't help but be bored by what we're seeing unfold.  It certainly doesn't help matters that Johnny Depp doesn't even appear to be awake -- if he can't be bothered being interested in what he's doing, how in the world are we going to care?  After a promising start, the flick written by first-time screenwriter Jack Paglen begins to unravel and its climactic moments fail to resonate despite the captivating premise.

It's possible that in more experienced hands Transcendence may have been a success, but as it stands now with first timers behind both the lens and the scripting with neither behind-the-scenes aspect able to convince the film's leading actor to appear alive onscreen, the flick falls flat.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Blood

Blood (2013)

Starring Paul Bettany, Mark Strong, Brian Cox, Stephen Graham, and Ben Crompton

Directed by Nick Murphy

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

Rarely do you hear me saying that I wish a movie were longer.  In the case of Blood, however, a noir-ish character study, I longed for a few more minutes to give a little more depth to Paul Bettany's Joe Fairburn, a British cop who takes a trip on quite an emotional roller coaster after a young teenage girl turns up dead on the streets of his town.  The case itself isn't anything particularly out of the ordinary, but this murder affects Joe more than usual causing him to take his investigation to harsh (and illegal) extremes.

Paul Bettany is fantastic here, creating a great amount of depth in (I think) the best film role I've seen him tackle.  Guilt is a key factor in Joe Fairburn's emotions and Bettany makes the audience fully understand his pained conscience.  Alongside Bettany are some very nice turns from Stephen Graham as Joe's brother and police officer partner Chrissie who also finds himself racked with guilt over his brother's misdeeds, Brian Cox as Joe and Chrissie's father (their former police captain boss and now dementia-ridden and addled), and Mark Strong as a fellow investigator who thinks Joe may be hiding something from his colleagues.  All four men are quite strong and they're all given some nice characteristics to sink their teeth into.

The problem with Blood is that it almost moves along too rapidly.  While Joe's psychological downturn is fully understandable, I wanted a bit more time to allow Bettany to gradually express his character's swings of emotions.  Upon the film finishing, the credits rolled and stated that the film was based off the tv series "Conviction" which I discovered was a six-part British miniseries.  Perhaps the story works better in that format as opposed to the quite shortened ninety minute runtime here.   Still, director Nick Murphy creates an ominous atmosphere surrounding the character of Joe Fairburn that I must recommend a watch.  Blood is one of those reasons why I haven't crafted my Best of 2013 list yet.  It's little gems like these that may find a placement or two in my final lists.  One of these days I'll get around to the RyMickey Awards (probably not until September now), but that'll just give you more time to check this out.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Jon Favreau, James Badge Dale, Paul Bettany (voice), and Ben Kingsley 

Directed by Shane Black

After the overhype that was The Avengers -- yes, I didn't love it, so perhaps my thoughts on Marvel movies automatically get negated because of that -- I admittedly wasn't looking forward to tackling Iron Man 3.  In fact, my biggest issue with The Avengers was Robert Downey, Jr.'s portrayal of Tony Stark who I found to be obnoxiously annoying in that piece.  [Yes, I realize that's the point, however, as I mentioned in my Avengers review, setting him amidst "nicer" superheroes made the character's self-important sarcastic nature more grating.]

So, color me surprised when I sat through Iron Man 3 and found it an enjoyable action flick.  Tony Stark is dealing with the aftermath of that wormhole/alien incident in The Avengers and it's mellowed him out, helping to build a character that has more depth than the playboy we've seen in movies past.  Stark still has his sarcastically quippy replies to most things, but the script (and Downey, Jr.) does a nice job of creating a few more emotional layers on the character.

In Iron Man 3, Stark is faced with battling The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), an American terrorist who's hellbent on making the US pay for their "crimes" against humanity.  After a bombing outside the Chinese Theater in L.A., the police are unable to find any bomb residue or any evidence that a bomb even existed onsite which begs the question of how exactly the Mandarin is causing these disasters.  Despite being more based in reality than some of the previous Marvel flicks, let's just say that the cause of the explosions takes us down that fantastical comic book unrealistic path -- and I don't mean that in a condescending way at all.

Admittedly, director Shane Black hasn't had much experience behind the camera (this being only his second film) and it shows a bit when it comes to lensing action sequences.  While the quick cuts aren't necessarily abundant, I couldn't help but think that many of the "BIG" scenes felt a bit muted in terms of excitement and were a bit confusing and slapshot in the way they were filmed.  Still, Black does a very nice job in the film's quieter moments and gets some good performances from all of his players with Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, and Jon Favreau making return appearances and Kingsley, Guy Pearce, and Rebecca Hall making solid debuts in the Marvel universe.

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - The Avengers

The Avengers (2012)

Starring Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Stellan Skarsgard, Paul Bettany (voice), and Samuel L. Jackson

Directed by Joss Whedon

Yes, I'm about sixty days late to the party here...and unfortunately the raves that I've been hearing for two months concerning The Avengers set expectations that were too high to be achieved.  While this is a decent comic book flick, it's still a part of a genre that I'm unable to really relate to because on a purely cinematic level I rarely am able to feel any modicum of tension for the formidable, unflappable, and nearly immortal main characters.

Seeing as how everyone has already seen this third highest-grossing movie of all time, I'm not going to waste time detailing a summary except to say that this gathering of Marvel's Superhero Elite does prove to be successful once it brings its cadre of power players together, but the round-up of these heroes is where the film lacks.  I must preface my "complaint" by saying that i watched The Avengers at the end of a three-movie, seven-hour marathon so that may have something to do with my lack of excitement for the product, but I do also think that I'm maybe using that simply as an excuse for my disappointment in the movie since everyone else seems to be fawning over it.  The whole thing eventually comes together rather nicely and the final ninety minutes really does seem to fly by, but I couldn't help but find myself in a state of ennui during the first hour.

It doesn't help that Robert Downey, Jr., is as annoying as heck in this.  His egotistical Tony Stark plays fine in a movie on his own where he's the main player, but when you put him amidst a group of other more unselfish folks, his character rings obnoxious more than anything else.  [Yes, I realize that's probably the point -- he's kind of a jerk unlike these other guys -- but it still didn't make his character any more tolerable to watch for extended periods of time.]  The less said about Chris Hemsworth's Thor the better (fortunately, his part was minuscule).  Oddly enough, it's the Iron Mans and Thor flicks that I found most successful in the Marvel universe so not caring for those characters here was a bit odd for me.

Mark Ruffalo kinda steals the show with his Bruce Banner/Hulk.  It's a shame the Hulk movie didn't star him as opposed to Ed Norton.  Surprisingly (considering my disdain for his movie), I found Chris Evans' Captain America a big improvement over his eponymous film.  It's also nice that a bit of the focus went to Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow as she's not only pretty on the eyes, but has a storyline that's at least a bit intriguing.

In the end, the whole thing is silly nonsense, but director and screenwriter Joss Whedon is able to at least direct action sequences without relying on Michael Bay-esque nonstop camera cuts and his script has a few witty moments which provide a needed boost.  Some may call this the greatest comic book movie of all time, but coming from a non-comic book fan, I didn't find it as impressive as the millions who did.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - Margin Call

Margin Call (2011)

Starring Kevin Spacey, Paul Bettany, Jeremy Irons, Zachary Quinto, Penn Badgely, Simon Baker, Demi Moore, and Stanley Tucci

Directed by J.C. Chandor

Some movies no matter how well they're directed, acted, or written just don't work for the individual viewer because the subject matter simply doesn't resonate with him.  That's Margin Call for me.  The acting ensemble here is top notch. J.C. Chandor's directing and screenwriting debut is solidly tension-filled and quite impressive (although it does slip into a bit too much moralizing in the second half which diminished substantially the little enjoyment I was experiencing).  Still, the story about the start of the financial meltdown in the late 2000s and big corporate's involvement in forcing massive government bailouts just made me feel kind of dumb because it's something I really know nothing about.  Despite its admirable attempts at "dumbing down" the subject matter, I was still a bit lost at moments which is part of the reason why this flick garners its rating at the bottom of this review.

I'd love to tell you exactly what happened to cause the tension to build in Margin Call, but I'd just be making up what I think happened.  It has something to do with some big investment company wanting to sell off some stocks or something after they discover that if they were to hold onto them their company would go under.  Unfortunately for this company, the person that discovered this issue was just fired that morning, so as everyone attempts to get him back to unveil his findings, he's none to eager to help the bastards that let him go.

The whole thing looks good and feels smart, but I just don't know enough about stocks and mortgages and day trading to comprehend the goings-on here.  It also didn't help that towards the end, the film attempted to bring out the "moral police" by having its characters spout how morally wrong the company's actions were -- and, while that may be accurate, it felt much too preachy and "Occupy Wall Street" to appeal to this viewer.  Acting across the board was great and it was nice to see each actor have a scene or two to act with everyone in the cast in a one-on-one capacity.  But, in the end, this is a movie that I'll never want to watch again.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - The Tourist

The Tourist (2010)

Starring Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, and Paul Bettany

Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

While watching The Tourist, I kept thinking that it was very reminiscent of 1950s/60s romantic thrillers like the Cary Grant/Audrey Hepburn-starrer Charade.  That flick took place overseas in Paris, whereas this flick calls Venice, Italy, its home.  That earlier flick was sumptuous and rich-looking, as is The Tourist.  Charade had two big name stars, as does this one.  Unfortunately, Johnny Depp is no Cary Grant and Angelina Jolie is no Audrey Hepburn...and together the two superstars lack any ounce of chemistry which is fundamentally vital to making this suspensor work.  It certainly doesn't help either of the two actors that the director (whose incredibly long name is listed above) never found a nice rhythm for the flick and the plodding nature bogged down the rather silly plot.

I could have lived with the silly plot, however, if there were any sparks onscreen between the two leads.  However, Jolie and Depp shockingly lack any ounce of charisma in their scenes together.  When Jolie's Elise first meets Depp's American tourist Frank on a train heading to Venice, I was expecting a moment where their eyes meet and a sparkle glimmers.  Instead, the duo is simply bland.

Elise is a woman on the run who meets Frank when her criminal boyfriend, Alexander, whom she hasn't seen in many months asks her to board the aforementioned train and find a man to "pretend" to be him.  This will create a decoy for both the British cops and the British gangster who are both following Elise to get to Alexander, allowing him time to get things settled before he sees her again.  Seeing as how Jolie's Elise is essentially seducing Depp's Frank into following her around the city of Venice, there was very little sensuality exhibited from the sex symbol.  And Depp (who I guess could be deemed a sex symbol as well) doesn't reciprocate any sensuality either.  The two simply don't work together and, to be quite honest, that is quite surprising.

While Depp and Jolie certainly shoulder a good chunk of the blame for the film not working, the director (helming his first American film) is also at fault for not getting good performances out of his two leads.  Add to that the fact that von Donnersmarck doesn't seem to have a keen sense as to how to correctly pace a film or a notion of how to create any semblance of excitement in action sequences and you've got a thriller that lacks thrills.  That this film was nominated for Best Comedy/Musical at the last Golden Globes shows how much of a sham those awards really are -- The Tourist is neither a comedy or musical nor is it any good.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johannson, Sam Rockwell, Paul Bettany (voice), and Mickey Rourke

Directed by Jon Favreau

I watched Iron Man 2 nearly two weeks ago now and never got around to writing anything about it.  One would think that I hated it.  That's certainly not the case.  In fact, for the film's first hour, I found it very engaging and actually a bit more enjoyable than the origin story that took place in the first film.  However, as hour two rolled around, the excitement level actually dwindled and the climax was quite a letdown.  

Still, the Iron Man series is one that I'll continue to watch mainly because of Robert Downey, Jr., who puts in quite a spirited cynical, semi-sardonic turn as the billionaire Tony Stark.  The problem with the film, I guess, is that when Stark is in the Iron Man get-up, I really just want him to become the enjoyable Tony Stark again.

Supporting roles in this one were decent across-the-board.  Gwyneth Paltrow has seemingly become one of the most hated celebrities on the planet according to some blogs I read, but I'm not quite sure why.  She's decent enough and does what is required of her barely fleshed-out role.  Scarlett Johannson, Sam Rockwell, and Don Cheadle (replacing the original Iron Man's wooden Terrence Howard) are all welcome additions.  Mickey Rourke is still coasting on his Wrestler mystique and his second helping of fifteen minutes of fame is about up.  He's okay here as the Russian nemesis to Stark, but he's nothing special.

I realize this isn't much of "review," but seeing as how I haven't posted anything in nearly a week, I was kinda tiring of staring at the same thing at the top of the page.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - Legion

Legion (2010)

Starring Paul Bettany, Lucas Black, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton, Tyrese Gibson, Kate Walsh, and Dennis Quaid

Directed by Scott Stewart
 ***Currently streaming on Netflix***

SyFy channel movies know they're bad.  The revel in their low-budgetness.  The major studio release Legion, however, feels like a SyFy made-for-tv flick, but it never realizes it's bad.  It doesn't have the winking sensibility that is present in the trashy flicks on tv.

There's really no point in discussing this piece of trash, but the general plot is that God is angry at everyone on Earth and has sent his angels to destroy humanity in some apocalyptic catastrophe.  There is, of course, one hope of life on Earth surviving and that is the baby being born to some young gal named Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) in some diner in Arizona.  All of the angels begin to take on demon-like qualities as they try to attack Charlie and the patrons of the diner.  Fortunately for Charlie, one angel (Paul Bettany) has went against God and is attempting to save Charlie and her unborn savior child.

Any time grown men are walking around with angel wings on their back, it's hard to take things seriously.  And Legion doesn't play up the ridiculous factor nearly enough.  Plus, there's honestly better acting in SyFy movies than in this flick.  Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Kate Walsh, and Tyrese Gibson just embarrass themselves.  While Paul Bettany may fare a tad better, he's still godawful at moments.

I've talked enough about this one.  Don't bother.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-

Movie Review - Inkheart (2009)

Starring Brendan Fraser, Helen Mirren, Paul Bettany, Jim Broadbent, and Andy Serkis
Written by David Lindsay-Abaire
Directed by Iain Softley

Why anyone gives Brendan Fraser jobs is beyond me. He is, without a doubt, the worst actor still getting starring roles today. Every line reading is atrocious. Every facial expression is a joke. And in this movie, he even makes Helen Mirren stoop to new lows acting-wise.

I should say off the bat that with the exception of biopics, the fantasy genre is one of my least favorite types of movies. Lord of the Rings...saw the first one and didn't need to see the others. The Princess Bride...never made it all the way through. I just don't like genre for some reason -- not a fan of the mysticism or something. So, unfortunately, Inkheart had trouble winning me over in the first place.

That being said, as a fantasy movie, the premise of Inkheart isn't all that bad. Fraser is Mo, a Silvertongue, which means when he reads stories aloud, a character from the book escapes the book into the "real world;" however, someone from the "real world" will be transported into the book as well. And that's the problem -- several years ago, Mo was unaware of his powers and, when reading a book named Inkheart to his young daughter and wife, his wife was transported into the book. For years, Mo has been searching for the out-of-print book so he can "read his wife out of it." Various book characters come and go, trying to either get back into the book or keep Mo from "reading them back into" the book. An interesting premise, but it ends up being not the least bit exciting.

As I said above, Fraser is awful and Mirren fares very poorly as Mo's eccentric aunt. Jim Broadbent as Inkheart's author and Andy Serkis as the villain are better, but the film does them no favors. The actors aren't helped by the fact that the film looks cheap and low-budget. The thing is, I'm sure they spent a decent amount of money on the flick, but there's really nothing to show for it.

It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen, but there's nothing memorable here or worth watching.

The RyMickey Rating: D