Dumbo

Dumbo (2019)

Starring Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Eva Green, Nico Parker, Finley Hobbins, and Alan Arkin

Directed by Tim Burton

Written by Ehren Kruger

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Widows

Widows (2018)

Starring Viola Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki, Cynthia Erivo, Colin Farrell, Brian Tyree Henry, Daniel Kaluuya, Garret Dillahunt, Carrie Coon, Lukas Haas, Jacki Weaver, Robert Duvall, and Liam Neeson

Directed by Steve McQueen

Written by Gillian Flynn and Steve McQueen

Summary (in 500 words or less):  After their criminal husbands are killed while attempting to complete a robbery, their widowed wives are forced to contemplate committing a crime of their own when a shady man demands money their husbands owed him.

 

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Roman J. Israel, Esq. (2017)

Starring Denzel Washington, Colin Farrell, and Carmen Ejogo

Directed by Dan Gilroy

Written by Dan Gilroy

Summary (in 500 words or less):  When his law partner at his small practice dies, Roman J. Israel (Denzel Washington) joins a bigger practice and discovers some facts about his new bosses that go against his morals.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C-

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)

Starring Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, Ezra Miller, Samantha Morton, Jon Voight, Carmen Ejogo, and Colin Farrell

Directed by David Yates

Written by J.K. Rowling

Summary (in 500 words or less):  In 1926 New York City, wizard/British author/magical creature zoologist Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) finds himself caught up in a city under siege by some mystical entity that seems to be a beast that he may be able to catch.  Can the magical wizards keep their secrets from the Muggles of the USA?

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C

The Killing of a Sacred Deer

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

Starring Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Barry Keoghan, Raffey Cassidy, Sunny Suljic, and Alicia Silverstone

Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

Written by Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou

***This film is currently streaming via Amazon Prime***

Summary (in 500 words or less):  A cardiologist (Colin Farrell) befriends the teenage son (Barry Keoghan) of a man who died on his operating table only to discover that the young kid has some malevolent intentions.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C

The Beguiled

The Beguiled (2017)

Starring Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, Oona Laurence, Angourie Rice, Addison Riecke, and Emma Howard

Directed by Sofia Coppola

Written by Sofia Coppola

***This film is currently streaming via HBO***

Summary (in 500 words or less):  In 1864 Virginia, three years into the Civil War, injured Union soldier John McBurney (Colin Farrell) deserts the Army and is found by young Amy (Oona Laurence), a student at a girls' boarding school run by Martha Farnsworth (Nicole Kidman) and teacher Edwina Morrow (Kirsten Dunst).  Having not had a man in the house/school for a very long time, Martha, Edwina, and oldest student Alicia (Elle Fanning) begin to fawn over McBurney and their jealousies and insecurities may prove damaging to all parties.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C-

Movie Review - The Lobster

The Lobster (2016)

Starring Colin Farrell, Rachel Weisz, Léa Seydoux, Ben Whishaw, John C. Reilly, and Olivia Colman

Directed by Yorgos Lanthimos

***This film is currently streaming via Amazon Prime***

I was so on board with director/co-writer Yorgos Lanthimos' weirdly offbeat The Lobster throughout most of its first hour as its surreal tale begins to unfold.  David (Colin Farrell) has just gotten divorced and in the strange land in which The Lobster is set that means that he must find someone to fall in love with him in forty-five days lest he be turned into an animal.  Yep...I said it was weird.  David heads to a hotel run by a manager (Olivia Colman) who sets up a variety of activities to set people up with someone they can love.  As his days dwindle down and romance seems less likely, David ponders whether an escape is necessary...and that's where the story drastically changes and grows increasingly uninteresting in its second hour.

The comedic satire in the film's opening half creates a world with new rules that are fully embraced by both the film's characters -- which include John C. Reilly as a lisping loner and Ben Whishaw as a limping lover -- and the audience.  I bought into the insane set-up that people would actually turn into dogs or horses or even lobsters if they failed to fall in love, and I found the set-up unique and engaging despite the bleak and sometimes melancholy sadness that permeates the inhabitants of the hotel.  The second half, however, removes us from the hotel setting and things fall apart.  The comedic aspect fades away and the tone of the film shifts into something that disappoints.  (I'll admit to being vague here to avoid spoilers.)

Kudos to Colin Farrell for carrying the film and giving a solid performance as the depressed David who finds himself forced to find true love in a short amount of time.  Creatively, Lanthimos at least envisioned a dystopia that we haven't seen before.  Unfortunately, he can't sustain a two-hour film across this land set up in the way he has.  There was promise here that unfortunately didn't pan out.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Winter's Tale

Winter's Tale (2014)

Starring Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, Jessica Brown Findlay, Jennifer Connelly, William Hurt, Eva Marie Saint, and Will Smith 

Directed by Akiva Goldsman

Savaged by critics and ending up on many "Worst of 2014" lists, Winter's Tale doesn't quite reach levels of awful offensiveness in terms of how bad it is, but it certainly misses the mark as an adult morality tale/fairy tale/fantasy/romance.  As the film opens, we see a foreign couple in the early 1900s being refused entrance into the United States because they have consumption.  Sent back to Europe on a boat, they leave their infant son behind in hopes that he'll have a better life.  The son grows up to be Peter Lake (Colin Farrell) who was raised on the rough New York City streets by Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe) and the two men couldn't be more different.  Despite rather oddly burying this lede and causing a bit of unnecessary confusion in the film's opening scenes, Pearly works for the Devil, while Peter is a bit more angelic and apparently has been granted the ability to truly help one person in his lifetime.  As Peter ages, this sets up conflict and Pearly sets out to take down the man whom he hoped at one time would be his successor.  This battle between good and evil is set against the backdrop of romance as Peter falls for Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay), a rich young woman who is dying of consumption.  And I haven't even begun to discuss the time jump that a little over halfway through the film moves the plot into modern times nor the mystical white horse that sprouts wings and saves the day multiple times.

There's simply too much going on in Winter's Tale to allow an audience to appreciate any aspect of it.   Based on a book that has had praise heaped upon it, I have to wonder if the fantastical meanderings work better on the page than played out visually on the screen.  This is Academy Award-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman's first feature film directorial gig and he can't formulate a singular vision here which is perhaps due to the fact that his screenplay feels haphazardly crafted.  The acting is okay, but that's admittedly faint praise.  Crowe is hamming it up at times although not necessarily in an awkward way as he is essentially playing an employee of the devil.  Farrell is fine, although he's a bit of a blank slate in some of the film's pivotal moments.  The rest of the cast makes do with what's given to them.

While Winter's Tale certainly isn't the worst film I've seen from 2014, it certainly isn't a winner by any means.

The RyMickey Rating:  D+

Movie Review - Saving Mr. Banks

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

Starring Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Annie Rose Buckley, Colin Farrell, Ruth Wilson, Paul Giamatti, Bradley Whitford, B.J. Novak, Jason Schwartzman, Kathy Baker, Melanie Paxson, and Rachel Griffiths

Directed by John Lee Hancock

Poor Saving Mr. Banks.  Hit with articles and speeches (thanks, Meryl Streep) saying that it's a whitewash of Walt Disney's "true" misogynistic and anti-Semitic leanings, intent on being a love letter for the cherished movie company, the family friendly film all but missed the boat on Oscar nomination day failing to earn a nod beyond Best Score.  Critics of the film will tell you that the movie sets up Mary Poppins author P.L. Travers as a put-upon lady who had to succumb to "Uncle Walt's" wishes in order to finally have a film version of her classic novel placed up on the screen.  Quite honestly, I can't help but think that's a bunch of baloney as that's not at all what I saw in this movie.  Travers' headstrong personality may have kowtowed in certain areas of production, but to call her an obsequious woman trampled on by a larger than life figure misses the boat completely.  Yes, Saving Mr. Banks is a film about letting things go, but Travers isn't "giving up" her beloved Mary Poppins.  Instead, she's giving up some long-standing guilt that's she's clung to since her childhood.  The story here isn't really about the making of a movie...it's about one woman's acceptance of the past and willingness to forgive herself for things beyond her control.

Saving Mr. Banks manages to take two separate storylines and weave them together rather seamlessly thanks to a lovely script by Kelly Marcel and Sue Smith and nice (though perhaps a tiny touch heavyhanded) direction by John Lee Hancock.  First, we see an adult Pamela Travers (Emma Thompson) finding herself facing monetary trouble.  With her unwillingness to write any more novels and sales of her Mary Poppins series dwindling, London-based Travers is convinced by her agent/publisher to travel to California and meet with Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) to discuss the making of Poppins into a feature film.  Upon her initial meeting with the Hollywood mogul, Travers agrees to see what Disney, screenwriter Don DeGradi (Bradley Whitford), and songwriters Robert and Richard Sherman (B.J. Novak and Jason Schwartzman) have crafted for her beloved nanny character.  Travers is not an easy woman to please.  While some may call her curmudgeonly, she simply has a vision as to what she believes Mary Poppins should be.

The reason for that vision is because, as much as she tried to suppress it for decades, Mary Poppins is really a re-imagined telling of what she longed for her childhood to be.  In the other half of Saving Mr. Banks, we bear witness to Travers' youth.  Young Ginty (Annie Rose Buckley) simply adores her father Travers Goff (Colin Farrell), a banker whose imaginative mind created a fantastical world for Ginty and her two siblings despite the family living on a dilapidated ranch in Australia.  Travers wanted nothing more than to provide for his family, however, he was dealing with his own personal demons in the form of alcohol and young Ginty carried around the guilt for decades of not being able to "save" her father from placing his lips to the bottle.

As we discover, Ginty is really Pamela Travers with Pamela changing her name in adulthood to honor her father.  The film bounces back and forth between the two storylines with each allowing the other to become richer and more well-rounded as layers are revealed.  We begin to realize that it's her childhood experiences that shaped Pamela Travers into the no-nonsense (perhaps even crotchety) woman that she became.  She used her novel to try and cope with the demons of her past, but rather than helping her let them go, the book made them cling to them even more.  Through the making of the film version of Mary Poppins, Travers is able to release them (even if just a little bit), but this doesn't come without an emotional toll for her.

Emma Thompson is fantastic as P.L. Travers.  Admittedly, she starts off rather one note, with Travers being a woman of clipped, precise words, showing little to no emotion behind a rock-hard exterior.  However, as the film progresses, we see glimpses of her ice queen nature being melted away.  It's this change that has many of the film's critics crying fowl with the critique being that through the "magic of Disney," all of her problems were solved.  That's just not the case.  Thompson's Travers can really be summed up in the film's final scene (of which, I guess, this could be considered a spoiler, so read on with that knowledge) in which Travers sits watching the Hollywood premiere of Mary Poppins.  Without a single word and only through facial expressions and the slightest of body movement, we see Travers initially disgraced with her selling out of her beloved character, angered by the addition of animation (which she was adamantly against), yet moved by the lovely depiction of family life and of a father who wanted nothing more than his children to flourish and grow beyond what he could provide for them.  John Lee Hancock stays focused on Thompson's face and it's a fantastic moment that carries so much more emotional impact than what we're seeing on the surface because of everything Thompson brings to the role.

Although Thompson is certainly the center of the film, she's surrounded by fantastic performances all around, including Tom Hanks as the equally opinionated Walt Disney.  Disney here is a nice guy who's willing to make concessions to Travers, but not willing to forgo his knowledge of what makes "quality" movies.  The back-and-forth between the two actors is oftentimes brilliant and was a treat to watch.  A very nice and subdued supporting turn from Paul Giamatti as Travers' driver was also a nice addition.  Really, though, there's not a bad performance here at all and that's certainly something worth recognizing.

I will admit that I come to Saving Mr. Banks with some inherent bias in that I'm the biggest Disney fan I know.  However, I also approached this film with a great level of fear and trepidation that it wouldn't even come close to living up to the bar I had set for it.  In fact, I avoided watching the film for nearly a month because I simply didn't want to have my hopes shattered.  I'm beyond pleased to state that my worries were unfounded.  Saving Mr. Banks is an absolutely lovely film that carries much more emotional depth than I ever could have expected.

As a side note, stay halfway through the credits.  There, you'll hear taped recordings of Travers duking it out with the Sherman brothers and screenwriter Don DeGradi over the script.  It shows that the film's depiction of Travers was certainly true-to-form.

The RyMickey Rating:  A-

Movie Review - Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths (2012)

Starring Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Abbie Cornish, Woody Harrelson, and Christopher Walken

Directed by Martin McDonagh

I'm not quite sure why Seven Psyhopaths took me two sittings nearly a week apart to make it through, but something in the opening forty minutes didn't reel me in and didn't lure me back to complete it after I had to stop watching.  Oddly enough, the same thing happened with director-writer Martin McDonagh's first film In Bruges.  I started that one, stopped after about twenty minutes, and then never went back (I know, I know, people love that one).  Admittedly, maybe I do need to give In Bruges another chance because once I finished up Seven Psychopaths, I found the whole thing a bit refreshing and, while a bit derivative of other films at the beginning, surprisingly original in how its story plays out.

Having recently seen Mr. McDonagh's work onstage in The Cripple of Inishmaan, the Irish writer certainly has an ear for witty dark humor and Seven Psychopaths certainly fits into that category.  Marty (Colin Farrell) is a struggling screenwriter toiling away at his latest endeavor about a movie containing a tale of seven psychopathic murderers (scenes of which we often see in blips as the flick progresses).  Marty's good buddy Billy (Sam Rockwell) is quite the off-the-wall wackadoo who has partnered up with Hans (Christopher Walken) to establish a dog-stealing business in which they kidnap dogs only to return them for the inevitable reward money their owners put up.  However, when Billy and Hans kidnap the dog of Los Angeles gangster Charlie (Woody Harrelson), Marty soon finds himself tangled up in the criminal underworld.

Most intriguing about Seven Psychopaths is the "meta" aspect of the whole thing that kicks in during the second half and elevates the film more than I could have imagined at the outset.  As Marty's script comes alive around him, McDonagh shifts from what was simply a "been there-done that" darkly comedic modern "gangster" film into something with a bit more depth whose twists and turns become much more interesting and plausible despite their inherent implausibility.  McDonagh jokingly (and referentially) points out his script's "flaws" creating a more elevated comedy than we're used to experiencing in a nationwide Hollywood release.

Across the board, the actors are all game with Sam Rockwell standing out mainly because his character is such a live wire that the actor is given a bit more to do.  As McDonagh's self-referential script mentions, the females here are essentially tossed aside and it makes me wonder why Abbie Cornish, former Bond girl Olga Kurylenko, and Gabourey Sidibe's roles were even written into the script in the first place.  While it's true that McDonagh recognizes this fault, I can't help but think we actually would have had a slightly stronger film here without the ladies being included.

Seven Psychopaths didn't really come alive for me until the film's second half when the "meta" aspects came front and center.  Prior to that, it felt like a rehash of other dark comedies we've seen before, but by the end I realize that this was likely McDonagh's point.  By creating something so typical, his final acts the way they are writtern are able to branch away and revel in their absurdity.  I wonder if watching it again, I might appreciate things a bit more.  Maybe I need to try to watch In Bruges again...

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Fright Night

Fright Night (2011)

Starring Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, Toni Collette, Imogen Poots, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Directed by Craig Gillespie

Fright Night (a remake of a 1985 vampire film I've never seen) starts off much too self-referential and "hip" for its own good.  Eventually, the film takes a very positive turn down an exciting and genuinely tense road, but even then it has a few pacing problems here and there.  Still, in the end, it's a decent horror movie that's certainly better than a lot of stuff out there.

Perhaps the biggest problem with Fright Night is that the opening forty-five minutes feels like a rehash of a variety of other vampire flicks that have come before it.  Adding to that sense of tedium is a horrible turn from Christopher Mintz-Plasse as an obnoxious vampire-obsessed geek who makes the flick almost unbearable to watch.  Fortunately, his character falls to the wayside for a bit allowing the main story -- concerning a teen named Charley (Anton Yelchin) who believes his next door neighbor Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire -- to come to the forefront.

Once the film sidelines the pop culture-y references and focuses squarely on Charley, his mom (Toni Collette), his girlfriend (Imogen Poots), and his growing obsession over Jerry's apparent vampiric tendencies, the flick kicks into high gear.  There are several pulse-pounding scenes and I found the ending to be rather clever and somewhat fresh in the overarching subgenre of vampire flicks (of course, I'm not an expert in the genre, so maybe it's just a rehashing of something else that I haven't seen yet).

With the exception of Superbad's Christopher Mintz-Plasse whom casting agents can feel free to never hire again, Fright Night contains acting that's well above what is usually expected in a genre pic such as this.  Granted, their characters aren't given a whole lot to do, but everyone gives it their all despite the limitations of such a flick.

There are certainly problems to be had with Fright Night -- it was nearly so awful in the first twenty minutes that I was going to stop watching it -- but it definitely ends up being a flick that's worth watching if it ends up popping up on Netflix Instant or one of your pay cable stations.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - Horrible Bosses

Horrible Bosses (2011)

Starring Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day Jamie Foxx, Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell, and Jennifer Aniston
Directed by Seth Gordon

Perhaps I did Horrible Bosses a disservice by watching it a day after Bridesmaids, but this modern-day retelling of 9 to 5 from a male point of view just didn't provide the laughs needed to succeed (especially when compared to the Kristen Wiig-starring raunchfest).

Three guys all have severe problems with their bosses.  Nick (Jason Bateman) is aggravated when his sadistically controlling boss (Kevin Spacey) passes him over for a vice president's job at a big corporate firm.  When Kurt's (Jason Sudeikis) boss dies, the job is taken over by the boss's druggie party-guy son (Colin Farrell) making day-to-day activities a living hell.  For Dale (Charlie Day), a dental assistant, his problem revolves his sex-obsessed, completely inappropriate dentist boss (Jennifer Aniston) as she attempts to do whatever she can to get Dale into bed despite the fact that he is engaged to be married.

Fed up, the three concoct a plan to kill their respective bosses and, unfortunately, that's where the movie falls apart.  Ultimately, the scheme to do aware with their uncouth supervisors isn't all that funny.  In the first third of the film, when the focus is on the devious bosses, the humor comes across rather easily -- Jennifer Aniston, in particular, is riotously hilarious at moments in a role that is unlike anything she's ever done before.  However, the characters portrayed by Bateman, Sudeikis, and Day simply aren't interesting enough to have a movie crafted around them.  Jason Bateman, in particular, is incredibly bland here, giving his character zero personality.  Jason Sudeikis feels like he's rehashing the same character we saw in the better Hall Pass earlier this year.  Charlie Day is the only one of the trio to provide some truly funny moments, but I still couldn't help but think he was playing the same guy he plays on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  And the less said about Jamie Foxx's role as a hired hit man the better.  Completely humorless, his scenes grind the film to a screeching halt.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Ondine (2010)

Ondine (2010)

Starring Colin Farrell, Alicja Bachleda, Alison Barry, and Stephen Rea

Directed by Neil Jordan

***Early Review -- Released in local theaters Friday, June 11***

A lovely modern-day fairy tale, Ondine reminds me of an infinitely better version of M. Night Shaymalan's Lady in the Water (good Lord, that movie was an abomination).  In fact, it kind of pains me to mention the two films in the same sentence.

Syracuse (Farrell) is an Irish fisherman who, when pulling up his lines one afternoon, discovers a woman in his net.  The woman remembers nothing, so Syracuse invites her to his house, allowing her to live there and eventually begins to fall in love with the woman now called Ondine.  Syracuse's precocious daughter Annie begins to suspect that Ondine may in fact be a selky -- a creature from Irish folklore that is a seal that can turn itself into a human form.  While Annie's thoughts are laughed at, the town soon begins to believe that some strange occurrences may in fact be because Ondine is a sea creature.

The film looks beautiful, capturing the rustic look of a lovely seaside town in Ireland.  Director Neil Jordan keeps the movie moving along at a brisk pace -- and this is a film that could easily have felt infinitely longer than it actually was.  Jordan's also able to pull out a wonderfully subdued performance from Colin Farrell who plays a caring father -- a role that I wouldn't expect from him based on other roles I've seen him take on.  Additionally, the lovely Alicja Bachleda plays her very difficult role -- is she or isn't she a fantasy sea creature? -- with an incredibly natural quality.

The film's fault unfortunately falls on the shoulders of the role of Annie.  It's not the fault of the young actress, Alison Barry, who takes on her first acting role here.  It instead is the fault of the character.  In a movie where the other characters felt fresh and original, Annie is saddled with a failing kidney awaiting a transplant and is much too wise for her years -- she's the "smart sick kid" and we've seen that too many times before.  The fact that Annie plays a major role is a fairly big detriment to the film.

Nonetheless, for the most part I was impressed with Ondine and found myself won over by the simple, charming tale.

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - Crazy Heart (2009)

Crazy Heart
Starring Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell, and Robert Duvall
Directed by Scott Cooper

We've seen this story before. The plot summary is as simple as this: A washed-up singer has turned to booze, but happens to meet a new lady and tries to clean up his act to be with her. Crazy Heart is not above that cliché. In fact, there's not a single thing in this movie that feels the least bit "new" or "fresh."

Fortunately, Jeff Bridges' turn as the alcoholic has-been Bad Blake more than makes up for the paint-by-numbers storyline. Honestly, in the film's first few minutes, I was rolling my eyes. Bad (as he likes to be called) was simply like any other movie singer I'd seen portrayed -- he drinks, he smokes pot, he spouts profanities, he sleeps with his groupies. Somewhere around the twenty minute mark, love interest Maggie Gyllenhaal is introduced and while her news reporter character, Jean, is nothing we haven't seen before, Bad's reaction to her is what tips the scale in this film's favor. We've seen Bad with other women at this point, but Jean is something special, bringing out tenderness in him that adds that extra layer I was looking for in him. Bridges exudes kindness and warmth that was, admittedly, unexpected.

Bridges is onscreen in every scene and he ultimately won me over after a shaky start. He completely embodies Bad Blake and, while Bad's a walking stereotype, Bridges puts his whole heart into the role and none of it seems the least bit fake or forced. And his singing ain't too shabby either. [Now's a good a place as any to mention that the songs, while sounding slightly repetitive, were a perfect fit.]

This is a showcase for Bridges and that's it. The story isn't there. The direction is simple. Everybody else (from Gyllenhaal to Colin Farrell's younger aspiring country star to Duvall's guardian-angel-esque role) is simply on the sidelines watching Bridges do the heavy lifting. That's not to say that these side characters are lackluster -- in fact, it's the opposite. They certainly add to Bad's story. But in the end, this is about one guy, and while I wish there was a little more to the film, Bridges elevates it to a higher level.

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Starring Christopher Plummer, Tom Waits, Heath Ledger, Lily Cole, Verne Troyer, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell
Directed by Terry Gilliam

Without a doubt, this is one of the weirdest flicks of the year. Sometimes weird works (see here). Sometimes weird doesn't (see here). Parnassus falls into the latter category and I can't get back the two hours I spent with it.

The huge problem with the movie is that absolutely nothing that matters happens during the first hour. We are welcomed into the world of Dr. Parnassus (Plummer), an old "shaman-esque" guy who travels around in a gypsy wagon with his fifteen year-old daughter Valentina (Cole), her friend Anton, and midget Percy (Troyer). Together, they put on shows and pull people off the streets to venture into the mystic mirror where, on the other side, everyone's imaginations can become a reality. When traveling one night, the group finds a man hanging from the underside of a London bridge. The man (Ledger) seems to have lost his memory, but they enlist him to help them in their little magical street shows.

Of course, none of that is the crux of the story...despite the fact that it takes up over sixty minutes. The real story comes in hour two where we discover that Dr. Parnassus has made a deal with the devil (a genuinely creepy Tom Waits), and unless Parnassus can capture five souls before the devil does, the devil will get to steal Parnassus' daughter for his own.

The devil scheme is the real story...everything else is superfluous and unnecessary. The whole storyline with Ledger is extraneous. And it starts off quite uncomfortably. I'm actually quite shocked that our first glimpse of Ledger is of him hanging himself. Unfortunately, once you get past the initial shock, you realize that it's a shame this will be known as Ledger's last role...because he's really not very good here. He must've known he was in a flop.

When Ledger steps into the mirror, his visage changes into that of fellow actors Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell, all of whom do a much more entertaining job than Ledger. When that trio is onscreen, the film actually becomes a little more enjoyable. They're simply not there enough to make a dent in the boredom.

When Verne Troyer (of Austin Powers fame) is the most entertaining person onscreen for the majority of your film, your flick is in trouble (and, really, the only reason Troyer is a hoot is because they dress him in black-face and a wind-up monkey costume). This film is supposed to be fantastical and wondrous, but it's really just dreary and bleak.

The RyMickey Rating: D