Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and John Turturro
Written by Morons
Directed by An Even Bigger Moron
My major complaint with the first Transformers movie was that the action scenes were so poorly directed that I couldn't understand what was going on. So, dumb that I am, I subjected myself to seeing the sequel on a giant IMAX screen where I couldn't even take in everything that was going on.
Then again, there wasn't much to take in story-wise. The large screen didn't prevent me from realizing that Michael Bay can't direct at all...Weird transitions, horribly shot action scenes, no sense of comedic timing, and a complete fetishistic way of filming women onscreen (If Megan Fox wasn't seen wearing next to nothing, she was seen running with her mouth wide open or pursing her lips).
Jumping off of that Megan Fox thing, the actors here are completely unnecessary. They add nothing to the plot. There's a Latino guy that's a main character in this movie that literally does nothing. He doesn't help anybody at any time, he doesn't hinder anybody at any time...he's seemingly there because the producers polled people after the first movie and the Latino crowd felt left out. That's the only logical explanation. Even Sam Witwicky (the main character) wouldn't really be necessary in this movie.
There's really nothing to say here except that I hated it...immensely. I don't really feel like writing anymore about it. Why do people think this is good? X-Men: Wolverine was like Shakespeare compared to this.
The RyMickey Rating: F
First freakin' hour and a half could have been entirely removed and I may have not hated it as much as i do.
ReplyDeleteAlso sidenote: When i was walking out of work early, coincidence put me in front of your brothers and they said "Jeff isn't going to like it..." and then in a menacing voice "Dee minus"
And the writers of this also wrote Star Trek, so I'm pretty sure Star Trek's quality = All from JJ Abrams.
ReplyDeleteThomas --
ReplyDeleteMorons hasn't written anything, but I believe that "Year One" was written by "A Group of Monkeys" according to my blog...close to the same thing...
And Justin...A) that's frickin' hilarious about my brothers...they bitched at me when I got home for hating it so much.
and B) that's painful about the writers also writing Star Trek...J.J is the man, though...