Movie Review - I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)

Starring Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, and Jack Carpenter
Written by Larry Doyle
Directed by Chris Columbus

When I was searching for the movie poster on the right (in which Hayden Panettiere's head looks oddly photoshopped onto someone else's body), there were images of a book of the same title that came up. Initially, I thought to myself, Hmmm...maybe I'll read the book. See how much better than the movie it is (it wouldn't have been too terribly hard, as you'll see). Then, I saw that the screenwriter of the film also wrote the book which means he obviously approved (in some way) of how this movie turned out. So, nix reading the book.

About thirty minutes into the movie, I said that whoever directed this really doesn't know how to direct comedy at all. Lines were falling flat. Awkward silences abounded. There wasn't a natural flow to the flick. Then, when the credits pop up and Chris Columbus's name appears, I was kind of shocked. I mean, this guy directed Home Alone (which, let me tell you, has aged pretty damn well) and a cult classic (of mine anyway) Adventures in Babysitting. He knows his way around comedy. Well, not in this one.

"Dorky guy" Denis (Rust) professes his love for "hot chick" Beth Cooper (Panettiere) during his valedictorian speech at high school graduation. Beth has a "cool, strong boyfriend" who ain't too happy about this and he decides to seek revenge by beating him up. Oooh...scary, I know. A few car chases, cow stampedes, and angry raccoons later, Beth realizes that Denis is a nice guy and maybe she should give him a chance. Did I give too much away? Sorry.

Anyway, if I'm being completely honest, the movie wasn't awful. There were several good lines and a few scenes that were actually kind of funny. Still, the characters were all one-note stereotypes (I failed to mention Denis's best friend Rich [Carpenter] who likes to quote movies and may or may not be gay...apparently that was supposed to be funny because it seemed like nearly half the jokes were him trying to tell people that he wasn't gay...Hilarity!). The acting (which could've maybe saved the weak plot) wasn't necessarily bad, but it was nothing to write home about. Panettiere, probably best known from tv's Heroes, ain't a movie star, that's for sure. And Paul Rust (who apparently will next be seen in Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds) better enjoy his little bit of fame now.

If I'm being completely honest, this is the kind of movie that called for a little more raunchiness. Were this thing made in the 80s, the shower scene that occurred in this movie would've undoubtedly involved nudity. I'm not saying nudity would've been the cure (I'm actually not a huge fan of nudity for nudity's sake in movies...I'm actually on record somewhere on this blog or this one saying that), but the movie needed something more. Typically, I'm not a fan of tremendously risqué pics, but I walked out of this one feeling like it needed a little pick-me-up shot in the arm or something.

The RyMickey Rating: D