Starring Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner
Directed by Chris Weitz
Directed by Chris Weitz
My lord. I don't get this phenomenon at all.
I could maybe get it if there was actually a story to spread across this film's 130 minutes. At the end of the first Twilight (which I liked in a so bad it's good kind of way), dreary loner Bella (Kristin Stewart) has fallen in love with vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson). Everything seems fine. But, at the start of New Moon, Bella's celebrating a birthday which means she's aging and Edward isn't. She begs Edward to make her a vampire, but he won't. Additionally, since vampires don't age, Edward and his family must move away from their home, thus leaving Bella. Bella is devastated and turns to her best friend, Jacob, who, it turns out, is turning into a werewolf. And, of course, werewolves and vampires don't get along! As Bella and Jacob's relationship blossoms into something more than just a friendship, Edward comes back into her life...the decisions she must make! There's no story here...at least not a story that can sustain itself over the run of this movie. Whittle this down to 100 minutes and you may be okay.
I also don't understand that fascination with the actors. Robert Pattinson, paler than ever, is so one-note it's laughable. Fortunately, he's only in this movie for 20 minutes. Instead, we get to spend all our time with Kristin Stewart who, opposite from Pattinson who looks like he's hopped on meds, must have been denied her daily drug dosage because she seemed to be twitching nonstop in this movie. Stewart somehow manages to have no chemistry with either of her male costars...so congrats on that failure, Kristin! Unfortunately for Stewart, Taylor Lautner (while not a great actor by any means) shines next to the dullness of Stewart and Pattinson. Any scene that Lautner's in with these other two actors just makes them seem even worse by comparison. The real bright spots in this movie are the five minutes we get to spend with Bella's high school friends. The actors portraying them actually show some life and vigor and provide this dreary movie's few laughs. Make a movie about them and I'm there.
And I don't get why they got rid of the director of the first one because this new director, Chris Weitz, certainly didn't help move the story along. There are some really awful shots here, coupled with some really ridiculous looking CGI. He manages to never allow for any sort of tension across the film's lengthy running time. Even the final climactic scene where Edward fights some other vampires was just silly (my response while watching it -- "It's nice to see Lurch from the Addams Family still getting jobs...and who knew he could fight like that?").
So, I'd be happy to receive an explanation of why this series is loved by so many...because the movies certainly don't do these bestselling books any justice...or maybe they do and the books are just plain awful, too.
I could maybe get it if there was actually a story to spread across this film's 130 minutes. At the end of the first Twilight (which I liked in a so bad it's good kind of way), dreary loner Bella (Kristin Stewart) has fallen in love with vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson). Everything seems fine. But, at the start of New Moon, Bella's celebrating a birthday which means she's aging and Edward isn't. She begs Edward to make her a vampire, but he won't. Additionally, since vampires don't age, Edward and his family must move away from their home, thus leaving Bella. Bella is devastated and turns to her best friend, Jacob, who, it turns out, is turning into a werewolf. And, of course, werewolves and vampires don't get along! As Bella and Jacob's relationship blossoms into something more than just a friendship, Edward comes back into her life...the decisions she must make! There's no story here...at least not a story that can sustain itself over the run of this movie. Whittle this down to 100 minutes and you may be okay.
I also don't understand that fascination with the actors. Robert Pattinson, paler than ever, is so one-note it's laughable. Fortunately, he's only in this movie for 20 minutes. Instead, we get to spend all our time with Kristin Stewart who, opposite from Pattinson who looks like he's hopped on meds, must have been denied her daily drug dosage because she seemed to be twitching nonstop in this movie. Stewart somehow manages to have no chemistry with either of her male costars...so congrats on that failure, Kristin! Unfortunately for Stewart, Taylor Lautner (while not a great actor by any means) shines next to the dullness of Stewart and Pattinson. Any scene that Lautner's in with these other two actors just makes them seem even worse by comparison. The real bright spots in this movie are the five minutes we get to spend with Bella's high school friends. The actors portraying them actually show some life and vigor and provide this dreary movie's few laughs. Make a movie about them and I'm there.
And I don't get why they got rid of the director of the first one because this new director, Chris Weitz, certainly didn't help move the story along. There are some really awful shots here, coupled with some really ridiculous looking CGI. He manages to never allow for any sort of tension across the film's lengthy running time. Even the final climactic scene where Edward fights some other vampires was just silly (my response while watching it -- "It's nice to see Lurch from the Addams Family still getting jobs...and who knew he could fight like that?").
So, I'd be happy to receive an explanation of why this series is loved by so many...because the movies certainly don't do these bestselling books any justice...or maybe they do and the books are just plain awful, too.
The RyMickey Rating: D-
Because all ladies apparently wanna get boned by pale sparkley vampires, silly.
ReplyDeleteIt's Taylor, not Tyler. P.s. The first one just plain sucked too
ReplyDeleteAah, yes...I forgot...It's Taylor squared since he's dating Ms. Swift...
ReplyDeleteyeah. i find that creepy.
ReplyDeletehttp://io9.com/5096763/twilight-makes-for-the-best-fanwank-ever
ReplyDelete""it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there.""