Movie Review - Delivery Man

Delivery Man (2013)

Starring Vince Vaughn, Chris Pratt, and Cobie Smulders 

Directed by Ken Scott

In order to make money in his younger days, David (Vince Vaughn) donated anonymously to a fertility clinic over the course of two years.  Twenty years later, David discovers that the clinic utilized his sperm to father 533 children, over a quarter of whom have filed a lawsuit to find out who their biological father really is.

Therein lies the story of Delivery Man and the simplicity of it is both welcoming and a detriment.  Unfortunately, in order to flesh out the tale, writer-director Ken Scott has David go on a mission to try and secretly meet each of the teenage kids named in the lawsuit and this episodic nature of the film's middle act wears thin after a while.  After he meets Kid #3, you can't help but to find yourself waiting for this never-ending meet-and-greet to conclude.

Delivery Man does have a surprising amount of heart and that's due in large part to Vince Vaughn's performance.  Although I grew tired of David's insistence on meeting his spawn, I never disliked Vaughn's ability to show a bit of heart -- a quality I typically haven't seen before from the comedic actor.  Unfortunately, Vaughn's success with the role isn't enough to elevate Delivery Man beyond something simply average.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Best Ensemble

Although a few of my best ensembles below are from Best Picture-nominated films, what I like about my choices below is the variety of genres represented.  You've got horror, comedy, action, drama -- they're all represented below.  Sometimes you need to look past the obvious (I'm looking at you Screen Actors Guild Best Ensemble Award) to find some interesting choices for a well-rounded cast.

Best Ensembles of 2013

Honorable Mentions

#10 - Red 2

(Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Helen Mirren, Anthony Hopkins, Byung-hun Lee, and Catherine Zeta-Jones)

#9 - The Conjuring

(Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, and Ron Livingston)

#8 - In a World...

(Lake Bell, Fred Melamed, Ken Marino, Demetri Martin, Rob Corddry, Michaela Watkins, Alexandra Holden, and Nick Offerman)

#7 - Saving Mr. Banks

(Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Annie Rose Buckley, Colin Farrell, Ruth Wilson, Paul Giamatti, Bradley Whitford, B.J. Novak, Jason Schwartzmann, and Rachel Griffiths)

#6 - Enough Said

(Julia Louis-Dreyfus, James Gandolfini, Catherine Keener, Toni Collette, Ben Falcone, Tracey Faraway, and Tavi Gevinson)

And the Top Five...

#5 - We're the Millers

(Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts, Will Poulter, Ed Helms, Nick Offerman, and Kathryn Hahn)

Comedy is never easy.  The entire cast of We're the Millers brought much (raunchy) humor to their scenes, with nary a weak actor in the bunch.

#4 - Nebraska

(Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb, Bob Odenkirk, and Stacy Keach)

While the above five actors were the main quartet, Nebraska also showcases many other less "well-known" actors who I hope to represent with this award as well.  Scenes around the dinner table with various brothers or sisters play as real as any scenes with the more "seasoned" actors above.

#3 - The Wolf of Wall Street

(Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner, Jon Bernthal, Jon Favreau, Jean Dujardin, Cristin Milioti, and Joanna Lumley)

The cast list for The Wolf of Wall Street ensemble could probably be two more lines at least.  I had to draw the line somewhere.  Needless to say, Scorsese got great performances from everyone -- from those who were in the film for just one scene (a la McConaughey) to those who were in nearly every frame (Mr. DiCaprio).

#2 - August: Osage County

(Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Ewan McGregor, Margo Martindale, Dermot Mulroney, Julianne Nicholson, Juliette Lewis, Abigail Breslin, Benedict Cumberbatch, Misty Upham, and Sam Shepard)

I'm very surprised I enjoyed this flick as much as I did seeing as how I hated the play.  I thought for sure that this fantastic cast would simply trample all over one another, but despite the gravity of such a strong ensemble, each member always was willing to take a back seat to let someone else have their "moment."  Scenes like the dinner table sequence above -- in which every cast member is onscreen -- are perfect examples of the cast's ability to never grandstand one another.

#1 - Short Term 12

(Brie Larson, John Gallagher Jr., Keith Stanfield, Kaitlyn Dever, Alex Calloway, and Rami Malek)

A cast of relative unknowns, Short Term 12 showcases a talented cast of up-and-coming Hollywood actors.  For the entire ensemble to elicit so many emotional moments for an audience at such a young age is a testament to their talent.  I look forward to seeing all of them in the future.

Previous Best Ensemble Winners
2012
2011
2010
2009

Movie Review - Star Trek Into Darkness

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Alice Eve, and Benedict Cumberbatch

Directd by J.J. Abrams

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

With the origin story of 2009's Star Trek reboot behind us, I was looking forward to seeing what J.J. Abrams was going to bring to the table in Star Trek Into Darkness.  I should preface things by saying that while I like Star Trek, I'm no über-fan.  I haven't really seen any of the original movies and essentially was a ST:Next Generation guy and that was it.  So, if this movie resembles another (which I heard it did upon its release last year), it's news to me.  So, with that caveat out of the way, I'll say that I found Into Darkness to be a truly fun ride that nicely paces its action sequences and never once feels like the typical non-stop in-your-face special effects spectacle that most summer action movies are -- and I mean that in a good way.

Into Darkness places an emphasis on story and that's a welcome treat.  As far as the story goes, however, I'm not going to delve greatly into it as there are a few surprises in terms of Star Trek lore that are best to be left unsaid.  Needless to say that the way director Abrams and his long-time collaborator screenwriter Damon Lindelof (along with writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman) are able to weave the old Star Trek with this new reboot are inventive and enjoyable.  I'll also add that even if you've never seen another Star Trek film, you can start with Star Trek Into Darkness and not be lost.  Although it's a continuation of the 2009 film in terms of character development, there's nothing presented here that will make you feel lost if you start your Star Trek journey here.

As I mentioned, I appreciated that those involved creatively didn't feel the need to place action scenes directly after one another in a whiz-bang fashion.  However -- and this is the film's one true detriment -- because of the lack of action sequences, much of the cast wasn't showcased to its fullest potential. Whereas in the first film, I felt that actors like John Cho, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban, and Anton Yelchin all got their moments in the sun that doesn't necessarily happen here.  In some ways, that's better -- the film's focus on Kirk, Spock (Zachary Quinto), and the villainous renegade Star Fleet member John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch) streamlines things a bit more and eschews the need for "action moments" simply to place characters in scenes.  However, with a cast this good, I missed seeing them at times.  That said, Chris Pine has taken the character of Captain Kirk and imbued him with just the right amount of the suavely chauvinistic vibe William Shatner brought to the character without taking things overboard that he's quite enjoyable to watch.  Actors in movies like this don't get a lot of credit, but I think what Pine is doing with Kirk -- making him a cocky guy with a lot of heart -- is great stuff.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - The Galapagos Affair: Satan Came to Eden

The Galapagos Affair: Satan Came to Eden (2013)

Featuring the voices of Cate Blanchett, Thomas Kretschmann, Diane Kruger, Sebastian Koch, Connie Nielsen, and Josh Radnor

Directed by Daniel Geller and Dayna Goldfine
***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

In the late 1920s, budding philosopher Friedrich Ritter was fed up with the world and escaped with his girlfriend Dore Strauch (both were married and having an affair) to the abandoned isle of Floreana in the Galapagos Islands chain.  The two resided on Floreana alone for quite some time foraging for their survival by finding what they needed from the land only being visited by a sea captain and his crew every now and then.  When word about their secluded paradise hit the newspapers, Heinz and Margret Wittmer (and their teenage son) believed it to be the perfect escape for them as well seeing as how they worried about living in what they believed to be a deteriorating society.  The Wittmers landed on Floreana in the early 1930s much to Freidrich and Dore's dismay, but the two groups eventually figured out a way to deal with one another despite the fact that Friedrich was very discomforted by the notion that he wasn't living out his dream of solitariness anymore.

Shortly thereafter, the rich Baroness Von Wagner and two of her male confidantes landed on the small island of Floreana with the goal to build a hotel for visiting Americans and Europeans.  Needless to say, while Friedrich and Dore made do with the fact that the Wittmers landed on the island, at least that family shared his desire to be secluded from the rest of the world.  With the Baroness now attempting to capitalize monetarily on Friedrich's small piece of paradise, things inevitably were going to take a turn for the worse.

The Galapagos Affair: Satan Came to Eden is an interesting documentary that utilizes original writings of all the involved parties to tell its tale.  Through voiceovers by the likes of Cate Blanchett and Diane Kruger taking on the roles of Dore and Margret respectively, we get intimate knowledge about each family's feelings towards one another.  This aspect of storytelling is certainly compelling despite the fact that as things veer into disturbing territory, the original journals seem to be less than descriptive and often contradictory as each family attempts to "cover their ass."

Unfortunately, when the filmmakers attempt to showcase life on the other isles of the Galapagos chain by conducting current interviews of elderly folks who were around in the 1930s and younger folks who currently live on the islands, their film sometimes comes to a screeching halt.  These conversations aren't particularly compelling and don't add much to the overarching mystery of what happened on Floreana in the late 1920s/early 1930s.  Still, The Galapagos Affair is a decent portrait of a certainly little known historical anecdote.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Breakthrough Award

Although these faces may not necessarily be fresh on the scene, the Breakthrough Award recognizes some names of folks that made a mark on the film industry in 2013.  Whether they continue this upward trajectory or not remains to be seen, but for one year at least they were quite successful.  Rankings here are based on a mix of both future potential and this past year's work.

Breakthrough Award 2013

#5 - Miles Teller 

The Spectacular Now

Miles Teller, while very good in The Spectacular Now, runs the risk of being typecast into the role of "obnoxious young prick" if he's not careful.  2013 also brought us 21 & Over in which Teller essentially played the same role as in the infinitely better The Spectacular Now except the "jerk teen" character plays much better in the drama than in the comedy.  There's potential here, but I worry about the path/roles he's taking.

# 4 - Margot Robbie

Wolf of Wall Street, About Time

Gorgeous blonde with an Aussie accent -- I'm not sure I could ask for more.  However, after I first saw her onscreen in Wolf of Wall Street, Margot Robbie proved that she was more than just a pretty face.  Sure, her role in Wolf was a teensy bit "obvious" -- a fault of the screenplay and not her own -- I think there's a possibility of future success if she can overcome the fact that she's so damn good looking which can sometimes be a detriment should she want to delve into any serious acting.

#3 - Lupita Nyong'o

12 Years a Slave

After she won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar, I read several articles that had people fretting over whether Lupta Nyong'o would ever really work in Hollywood again.  While that's inherently racist since most of the articles insinuated that because of her skin tone she may face difficulty, I certainly hope there's no reason to worry.  While I wasn't as blown away as others, her performance in 12 Years a Slave was very good and emotionally captivating -- reason enough to believe she'll be back.

#2 - Adele Exarchopoulos

Blue Is the Warmest Color

While I'm not sure Adele Exarchopoulos will ever cross over into American films, her acting chops are certainly top notch when it comes to her native French language.  Her brave performance in Blue Is the Warmest Color shows that she's willing to go the distance for her craft which is an admirable asset in one so young.

#1 - Brie Larson

Short Term 12, The Spectacular Now, Don Jon

While certainly good in all three of the films listed above, Brie Larson really showcased her talent in Short Term 12.  There's an "everyman" sensibility to her -- a normalcy, a realness -- that instantly connects us to her in all her roles thus far.  Here's hoping the future's bright for Ms. Larson.

Previous RyMickey Award Winners

2012

2011

2010

2009

Movie Review - We're the Millers

We're the Millers (2013)

Starring Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Emma Roberts, Will Poulter, Ed Helms, Nick Offerman, and Kathryn Hahn 

Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber

Jennifer.  Aniston.  Striptease.

I could simply leave this review at that, but I guess I'll continue by saying in addition to that sultry dance performed by one of my celebrity crushes, We're the Millers provides enough laughs that even if a nearly naked, seductively gyrating Jennifer Aniston doesn't float your boat, you'll still probably have a good time.  Thanks to a game cast who milk the comedy bits for all they're worth, We're the Millers successfully brings the raunch while also giving us characters and a story that hold our attention.

Jason Sudeikis is David Clark, a pot dealer who ends up losing his stash of weed and a significant amount of dough when an attempt to save a homeless girl being attacked by a bunch of street thugs goes awry.  This doesn't sit well with David's boss (Ed Helms) who forces David to head to Mexico and smuggle into the states a significant amount of marijuana without getting caught at the border.  With seemingly no feasible way to smuggle in the pot on his own, David concocts a plan to rent an RV and make up a fake family, acting as if they're taking a trip to Mexico for recreational purposes hoping that the border agents won't possibly think anything is out of the ordinary when they try and get back into the States.  To achieve this task, he enlists his down-on-her-luck stripper neighbor Rose (Jennifer Aniston) to play his wife, the aforementioned homeless girl Casey (Emma Roberts) to play his daughter, and his virginal downstairs neighbor Kenny (Will Poulter) to be his son.  Along the way, this fake family (known as the Millers) runs into drug kingpins and crazy RV enthusiasts (the latter played by Nick Offerman and Kathryn Hahn) in their attempt to bring an humongous stash of pot over the US border.

While certainly raunchy, We're the Millers does have a bit of heart although it never goes too far over that sentimental edge which works in its favor.  As mentioned above, the entire cast works quite well together with nary a bad apple in the bunch which was a welcome surprise.  Watching a film like this in the comfort of your own home alone can oftentimes ruin its ability to succeed because you don't have the rapturous laughter of an audience around you, but We're the Millers made me laugh out loud enough to deem it a success.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Best Younger Actor/Actress

For the purposes of this category, nominees must be 21 years of age or younger at the time of the film's release.  Placing in this category does not preclude placement in other categories.

What's fantastic to note here is that EVERY SINGLE ONE of these fantastic performances is available to watch streaming on Netflix.  Put them in your queue to watch some great acting from an upcoming generation of talented younger actors and actresses!

Best Younger Actor/Actress of 2013

Honorable Mentions

Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland - Mud

And the Top Five Are...

#5 - Onata Aprile - What Maisie Knew

While Aprile is never given a "stand out" moment per se, the whole film is told from her perspective and her wide eyes and ability to convey so much with silence places her on this list.

#4 - Kaitlyn Dever - Short Term 12

Also appearing in this year's fantastic The Spectacular Now, Ms. Dever was best known prior to this for appearing in the sitcom Last Man Standing.  However, with this role she proves she's got dramatic chops showcasing that beyond the bombastic personality she outwardly projects, her character is really just a young, innocent girl trying to cope with her parents' inability to love her.

#3 - Annika Wedderkopp - The Hunt

There's a palpable sense of guilt that permeates throughout the debut performance of the very young Wedderkopp.  She plays the subtle nuances of a young child who knows what she's doing is wrong, but can't figure out how to make it right.  Fantastically in depth for such a young actress.

#2 - Keith Stanfield - Short Term 12 

I will admit I'm cheating a little bit here with Mr. Stanfield.  This film screened for many months at festivals and at that time, Stanfield was 21, but upon the film's limited release he eked over to 22.  Still, I'm placing him here because of his fantastic performance.  His character of Marcus is quiet and subdued mainly because his sense of worth has been deflated exponentially.  Stanfield so easily could've taken this character to two extremes -- angry or sympathetic -- but he finds a happy medium. His rap scene is one of the best (and most heart-wrenching) moments of cinema this year.

#1 - Adele Exarchopoulos - Blue Is the Warmest Color

In every scene, Ms. Exarchopolous brings an uncomfortable naivety to her character's newfound attraction to another female that is fascinating to watch, beautifully capturing her gradual thirst for this new life experience.  There's a vulnerability here that we don't often see and her performance is incredibly brave.

Previous RyMickey Award Winners

2012

2011

2010

2009

Movie Review - Rush

Rush (2013)

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Daniel Brühl, Alexandra Maria Lara, and Olivia Wilde

Directed by Ron Howard

Ron Howard's directed a lot of good films over the years, but with the exception of Apollo 13, I'm not quite sure I've ever looked at his movies and thought he was a brilliant director.  While he creates good stories often with very nice family dynamics, he's not exactly known for his edge-of-your-seat, exciting direction.  Rush changes that.  To me, the stand out factor in Rush -- what elevates it beyond your typical sports flick -- is what Ron Howard brings to the table.

There's a palpable excitement that runs almost throughout the true story of the rivalry between 1970s Formula One race car drivers James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth), the ladies man, and the focused and serious Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl).  The two started out competing against one another on the Formula Three level, finding each others' very different attitudes towards racing almost repulsive.  Then, in 1976, they found themselves duking it out for the Formula One cup with Lauda needing to prove his 1975 Formula One cup victory not a fluke and Hunt attempting to showcase that he wasn't just the chauvinistic party boy that many in the racing world thought him to be.  The rivalry between the two was intense and made for a very interesting and exciting competition.

As I mentioned, I always felt like Ron Howard was very good at focusing on a story's intimate moments -- the connections between characters -- and that's certainly proven once again here.  Both Hemsworth and Brühl imbue Hunt and Lauda with a vicious rivalry, but also with an aire of respect for one another.  Recognizing that they mutually push each other to better results, I found their relationship uniquely depicted and compelling, and thanks to two fine performances by Hemsworth and Brühl, the rather simple story is elevated beyond what I expected especially considering the subject matter that I initially assumed would be completely unappealing to me.

In addition to the quieter moments, Howard steps up his game with Rush as he and cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle craft a retro-looking depiction with modern sensibilities.  Auto racing isn't my cup of tea in the slightest, yet Howard makes the multiple races all feel unique, placing us into the cars for some, following from behind on others, and mixing the vantage points up often enough to keep the viewers on their toes, yet completely unconfused about what is being shown.  Considering how similar all the racing cars look, it's a feat in and of itself that Howard makes these races comprehensible to a racing novice like me, but making them tension-filled edge-of-your-seat moments is another coup altogether.  The fact that we can't even tell where the "real" and the "special effects" begin and end is a credit to all involved.  Rush gives us a new Ron Howard who proves that he may have more up his sleeve than I ever thought he did before.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Most Overrated Films

It's not that the films below were necessarily bad (although some were), but the passion for them from either the critics or public was a bit flabbergasting in some instances.

Most Overrated Films of 2013

#10 - The Heat - D
Although this one made $160 million, I'm not sure I laughed once.

#9 - Inside Llewyn Davis - C
Although it failed to garner any awards attention at the end of last year, the 94% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes lands it on this list.

#8 - Spring Breakers - D-
65% of the critics surveyed on Rotten Tomatoes liked this dreck.  The only reason it's not ranked higher is because the public absolutely despised it.

#7 - Lee Daniels' The Butler - D 
It's unfathomable to me that this got the positive reviews it did.  Did the critics see the same generic, boring, overacted movie I saw?

#6 - 20 Feet from Stardom - B

#5 - Blackfish - C+
Two documentaries that garnered a lot of attention at year's end.  20 Feet won an Oscar and while it was the best documentary I saw last year (and that's not saying much seeing as how I didn't see too many), I didn't quite get the fawning.  Blackfish was probably was the most buzzed about documentary in years...but it was incredibly one-sided.

#4 - Captain Philips - C+
Nominated for Best Picture, this one had some great moments, but a second half that dragged on for much too long.

#3 - Her - B
I must be honest -- I think I personally overrated this Best Picture-nominated flick.  It really hasn't resonated with me in the slightest.

#2 - Dallas Buyers Club - C+
Yet another Best Picture nominee that I didn't quite get.  An adequately acted Lifetime movie.

#1 (tie) - American Hustle - D+

#1 (tie) - Frozen - B-
These two were just so close, I couldn't choose a winner.

The best thing about Oscar Night this past year was American Hustle walking away with nothing.  I really didn't like this one at all and felt that David O. Russell was simply attempting to make a 1970s/80s Martin Scorsese pic...and it didn't work for me.

As far as Frozen goes, I love that it put Disney back on the animation map and I also love that it brought the animated musical back to the forefront.  That said, the music (which sold three million albums, would've been the #1 album released in 2013 had it made an appearance prior to last November, and spawned umpteen YouTube interpretations of the power ballad "Let It Go") was overrated, childish in its lyrics, and, quite frankly, the worst part of the very good film.

Previous Most Overrated Film "Winners"
2012

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Worst Performance

The dubious honor is bestowed on these actors and actresses who should probably spend their money on a trip to the Actors Studio this year.

The Worst Performances of 2013

#5 - Cameron Diaz -- The Counselor

Diaz is completely unable to wrap her lips around the dialog she's forced to spout.  Rather than exude sexiness -- which her character is supposed to do -- she ends up being laughable.

#4 - Jodie Foster - Elysium

What the heck accent was Foster employing in this film?  Add to that, her performance is extremely jerky and mannered making it uncomfortable to watch.

#3 - Ashton Kutcher - Jobs

He tries.  I'll leave it at that.

#2 - Noomi Rapace - Passion

Overacting by not acting at all, Noomi Rapace has an emptiness in her eyes throughout the entire film that fails to allow any connection to her character whatsoever.

#1 - Lorenza Izzo - Aftershock

I'll just let this quote from my review sum up my feelings here:  

Eli Roth is just abysmal, but even he looks like a Shakespearean actor when placed next to Lorenza Izzo who plays an American party girl.  Don't get me wrong -- she's gorgeous, but she's utterly laughable as an actress.  Apparently widening your eyes to their fullest extent and darting your eyeballs around in frantic motions for sixty minutes while shaking uncontrollably and yelling at the top of your lungs is all that it takes to prove you've got talent to someone like Eli Roth who produced this heinous flick.

And for the second year in a row, the worst film also contains the worst performance. 

Previous Worst Performance "Winners"
2012

2011

2010

2009

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Worst Film

In a new category I started last year, take a look at the films from 2013 that you should avoid at all costs.

Worst Films of 2013

(Dis)Honorable Mentions

(all films ranked 'D' or below)

(underlined titles link to original reviews)

Thor: The Dark World

After Earth

Lee Daniels' The Butler

21 and Over

The Heat

Elysium

Arthur Newman

Movie 43

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

#10 - The Purge -- D

An interesting premise ruined by an incredibly crappy story that sacrifices believable plot for convenient jump scares.

#9 - Only God Forgives -- D

I'll just come out and say it -- I didn't get this one.  Didn't understand it at all.

#8 - Berberian Sound Studio -- D

Do you like movies that don't have any modicum of a payoff?  This one's for you!

#7 - Escape from Planet Earth -- D

In all fairness, I stopped watching Free Birds twenty minutes in because of how horrible it was...I should've done the same with this.

#6 - The Kings of Summer -- D-

This coming of age comedy failed to make me laugh and instead succeeded only in annoying me with its lack of believability.

#5 - Beautiful Creatures -- D-

Part I:  We have Twilight to blame for movies like this.

#4 - The Host -- D-

Part II: We have Twilight to blame for movies like this.

#3 - Spring Breakers -- D-

Critics fawned over the hedonistic kaleidoscopic barrage of sex and violence on display as if director Harmony Kormine was poking fun at our modern day culture that idolizes such trash.  I didn't get the joke and thought it was a pretentious piece of crap.

#2 - Passion -- F

Second (or third) tier attempt at a Hitchcockian tone by director Brian DePalma coupled with a horribly over-acted performance by Noomi Rapace makes this one a clunker.

#1 - Aftershock -- F

Sharknado-level direction with even worse acting, I couldn't wait for the insipid sextet of actors to bite the dust after the horribly enacted titular earthquake spins their world into chaos.

Previous Worst Film "Winners"

2012

Movie Review - Tim's Vermeer

Tim's Vermeer (2013)

Directed by Penn (Jilette) and Teller

Tim Jenison is an inventor/engineer of sorts who made his living crafting advances in television/video technology.  Jenison's success enabled him to focus on some odd things late in life including the theory that seventeenth-century Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer perhaps used an intricate series of mirrors and camera obscura to create his incredibly photo-realistic paintings.  In order to try and prove that Vermeer utilized technology to create his masterful works of art, Jenison sets out to try and recreate The Music Lesson, one of Vermeer's paintings.

From 2008 to 2013, Jenison intricately recreated what he believed to be Vermeer's set-up and then spent over 130 days painting his recreation of Vermeer.  While comedians Penn and Teller do an adequate enough job directing Tim's Vermeer, even at only 80 minutes, the film drags a bit.  While Jenison's stamina throughout his journey is admirable, there's only so much of intricate painting you can watch before the yawns start coming.  That said, Tim's Vermeer opened my eyes up to something that I never even had heard of before and actually made me want to find a Vermeer painting and closely examine it.  Maybe I will someday, but until then the intriguing notions brought to the surface in Tim's Vermeer will have to suffice.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

The Fifth Annual RyMickey Awards

There's that old saying about saving the best for last.  When it comes to 2013 cinematic awards, the RyMickey Awards may not be the best, but they are certainly the last.

2013 was an interesting cinematic year for me in that it contained very few films that I adored, but plenty of films that I enjoyed that failed to elicit strong passion in me.  In that regard, it was a little disappointing.  I think that's part of the reason I've waited so long in presenting these awards.  I like to be as comprehensive as possible seeing as many films as I can manage before actually tackling my awards and every now and then you get to watch a little seen surprise that makes its way onto the charts.

So, starting Sunday, visit RyMickey's Ramblings for a look at what you should rent via Netflix in terms of the best 2013 had to offer when it came to movies -- because Lord knows I've waited long enough so all these films are easily available to watch.

Movie Review - Before Midnight

Before Midnight (2013)

Starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy

Directed by Richard Linklater

There are two absolutely fantastic scenes the bookend Before Midnight, the third film in the Richard Linklater-directed series that periodically cheeks in on the lives of Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy), a couple who met and spent only one night together while touring Vienna in their early twenties (in the film Before Sunrise) and then rekindled their love nine years later in Paris (in the film Before Sunset).

The first of these scenes has Jesse and Celine -- who after the events of the last film are now a couple raising twin girls -- driving a car through Greece while on vacation talking about some of the more mundane aspects of their lives.  This long take immediately tells the audience that Jesse and Celine have become much more familiar with each other since the last film's conclusion, with their conversations shifting from the more esoteric as we saw during their courtship to more grounded, based in reality-type dialog ("Should I take this new job?  What about the kids?").

The second of these scenes occurs after a long day of meeting with friends and watching over their kids as Jesse and Celine have been treated to an evening at a posh hotel kid-free by their Greek comrades.  Upon their arrival, the two want nothing more than to forget about their kids and spend the night ravaging one another with lovemaking.  However, Jesse's fourteen year-old son who spent the summer with his father in France and then vacationing in Greece calls Celine to tell him that his plane home to the States landed in London.  Celine says something very casual at the end of the conversation that Jesse takes as derogatory toward his ex-wife and this somewhat innocent remark causes the night to spiral out of control with Jesse and Celine yelling about how they've given up so much for one another, feeling like they've left part of themselves behind ever since they finally took the plunge and got together nine years ago.

Both of these scenes epitomize all that is great with the Before... series of films -- crackling, real-life dialog that never once feels forced or out of place, coming from a natural place of real emotion and story.  Thanks to the performances of Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy and the fact that we've followed these same characters across a unique twenty year cinematic journey, we can't help but feel we're watching a real-life couple deal with the positives and negatives of a relationship.

Unfortunately, the problem with these two fantastic scenes is that they make the rest of the film pale in comparison.  Unlike the previous films in the Before... series, Before Midnight invites several other couples into the picture as Jesse and Celine vacation in Greece.  (On the surface, I get this -- Jesse and Celine are older now with kids and their lives aren't strictly revolving around one another like the previous two films.)  We get a particularly long scene at a dinner table in which these couples discuss the differences between men and women that pretty much boils everything down to the stereotypical "men think with their penises, women think with their hearts/brains" thing we've heard hundreds of times before.  This is actually a theme that runs throughout much of the film's scenes that aren't strictly Jesse/Celine moments and it really makes it seem as if we're watching two different films.  For a flick that contains this childish "been there-done that" base look at the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus concept to also contain some of the most realistic and intimate looks at communication in a relationship seems oxymoronic.

Still, the final scene alone of Before Midnight is worth the price of admission alone and elevates the film (to a level it may not be worthy of being elevated) thanks to the stellar writing of director Linklater and stars Hawke and Delpy -- it's that fantastic.  Although Midnight couldn't quite match the ease and charm of Sunset, I look forward to checking in on Jesse and Celine again in nine years as this original cinematic series continues (at least I hope that's in the works).

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Before Sunset

Before Sunset (2004)

Starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy

Directed by Richard Linklater

In preparation for one of my final movie viewings of 2013 films, I needed to catch up on the story of Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy), two thirtysomethings who met nine years ago on a train and spent a glorious night in Vienna talking about their life views, falling in love, and then having to go their separate ways.  The story of twentysomething Jesse and Celine was detailed in the 1995 film Before Sunrise and while I enjoyed that film even a second viewing had me facing the same issues -- Jesse and Celine were putting on too many aires to impress one another to make me care deeply for the characters.

After watching Before Sunset, I can't help but think that my "issues" with the characters in the first film were perhaps the point.  Jesse and Celine were fresh from college then and trying to impress each other with their recent "book" knowledge while also trying to show just how learned they were with real world issues.  Nine years later, these superficial attempts aren't as necessary as nearly a decade has shaped them into different people (Jesse is married with a kid!) who wouldn't necessarily be as impressed with their twentysomething selves.

Instead, Jesse and Celine reflect on lost love and "what could have been."  This nostalgic reminiscing was more appealing to me and I found myself enjoying the company of these characters more than I had previously.  Hawke and Delpy are charming with one another and Delpy almost takes center stage here as her Celine is given a bit more of an emotional arc to work with over the course of the film's quick eighty minute mini-travelogue of Paris.  And the final scene -- I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.  I look forward to the third chapter of this unique film experience.

The RyMickey Rating:  A-

Movie Review - After Earth

After Earth (2013)

Starring Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Zoë Kravitz, and Sophie Okonedo

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

While not quite the debacle I was expecting, After Earth is a dismal, depressing flick with nothing positive to note.  Father-son duo Will and Jaden Smith star as father-son duo Cypher and Kitai Raige who crash land on Earth centuries after the planet was deemed inhabitable.  Dad Cypher is immobilized during the crash and unable to walk, so he sends son Kitai out into the unknown landscape in order to find the tail end of their spacecraft which contains a beacon that can be used to send for help.  Along the way, Kitai is forced to face an environment that has adapted to kill humans while additionally having to do battle with an alien creature that was being carried on the afflicted spacecraft that just so happens to be able to smell fear.

As Kitai is out in the wild, he's in constant communication with his father who, thanks to conveniently innovative technology, is able to see everything going on in the environment around his son.  A pack of wild monkeys are coming Kitai's way?  No worries because Dad knows about it first.  A giant hawk is coming to attack Kitai?  We've got that taken care of.  All the while, we get to hear Papa Smith spout eloquent theology like, "Fear is not real.  It's a product of our imagination.  Danger is very real, but fear is a choice," in the most monotone voice caught on film in 2013.  With nary a modicum of emotion emanating from Will, it's obvious why Kitai wants to break away from his father.

While Will Smith is an emotional vacuum, Jaden doesn't have the charisma to carry the film.  Tackling some weird undecipherable accent, Jaden shouldn't have necessarily earned the Worst Actor Razzie Award, but any attempts by the Smith family to make their son a star should probably be quashed sooner rather than later.  Then again, maybe it's just the role as co-scripted by M. Night Shyamalan whose involvement with this was unceremoniously kept hidden in all ads after his recent directorial foibles.  After the one-two-three punch of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs, Shyamalan has utterly ruined his reputation and After Earth (despite direction that isn't horrible...faint praise, I know) won't help to redeem that in the slightest.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - At Any Price

At Any Price (2013)

Starring Dennis Quaid, Zac Efron, Kim Dickens, Heather Graham, Maika Monroe, and Clancy Brown
Directed by Ramin Bahrani

Despite decent performances from Dennis Quaid and Zac Efron, At Any Price is a heartland-set drama that plays more like a soap opera than a legitimate movie.  Quaid is Henry Whipple, a Midwestern farmer who sells seed to his fellow agriculturists.  Henry's son Dean (Efron) lived in the shadow of his older brother who, after he went off to college, left Dean to feel the brunt of Henry's desire to pass his farm down to one of his sons.  Dean, however, just wants to race cars leading to tension between father and son.

Beyond this little familial tiff, there are several other "issues" that come to the forefront as the movie progresses that elevate the drama.  Some of these elements work...some are laughable.  Quaid tackles these hurdles by making his character irritatingly chipper which works at moments and doesn't at others.  Efron comes off a bit better, proving that there may be potential for something from the young actor, but once again, he's not given much to stretch his acting chops here.  (Parkland and The Paperboy also allowed him to give decent performances, but also didn't give him a chance to really shine.)

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - Evil Dead

Evil Dead (2013)

Starring Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, and Elizabeth Blackmore

Directed by Fede Alvarez

I must admit right off the bat that I've never seen the original Evil Dead.  I tried to watch it several years ago, but its corny nature was a bit of a turn-off at the time.  With that in mind, I watched the 2013 remake without any preconceived notions and I found first time director and co-screenwriter Fede Alvarez's film a scary gore-fest with many an uncomfortable cringing moment which, ultimately, makes this type of film a success.

The story is incredibly simplistic -- a group of five twentysomethings head to a secluded cabin wherein one of them accidentally conjures up demons which begin to possess them one by one, turning them into evil human-killing zombies.  We're not looking at fancy storytelling here, but what we are seeing is gore galore done so in a way that genuinely had me uneasy...in a good horror film way, if that makes sense.  The sense of tense discomfort that the director brings to the table is perfectly suited for the flick and, considering this is his first venture into feature film making, that's not an easy task to accomplish.  Aided by actors who are all better than horror films like this typically have any right to have in them, Evil Dead ends up being a surprising solid entry for me as I round up my 2013 film-watching.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - The Canyons

The Canyons (2013)

Starring Lindsay Lohan, James Deen, Nolan Funk, Amanda Brooks, Tenille Houston, and Gus Van Sant

Directed by Paul Schrader

I will readily admit that the only reason I watched The Canyons is because I expected both the film and its troubled star Lindsay Lohan to land on my Worst of 2013 list.  Color me surprised that Lohan's performance is a intriguingly vulnerable one, tapping in to what I can only assume are her own insecurities as she attempts to get back on her feet after a rough go this past decade.  The film itself...well, I've see worse this year...

The problem with The Canyons is that all of its characters are self-involved, obnoxious a-holes.  They're certainly not enjoyable to watch.  Considering that this is from the pen of Bret Easton Ellis, I'm not particularly surprised as my limited knowledge of Ellis is that these types of characters are his bread and butter.  There's a slightly noir-ish tone to The Canyons with story centering around spoiled rich kid movie producer Christian (porn star James Deen) and his inability to trust his live-in girlfriend Tara (Lohan).  The two have an odd, open relationship welcoming men and women back to their palatial L.A. home to partake in a variety of sexual relations.  However, when Christian suspects Tara may be having a "real" relationship with someone other than his controlling self, he's not a happy camper.

While Lohan embodies the worn-down, world-weary, tough-around-the-edges Tara quite well, the same can't be said for James Deen.  While he certainly tries, he can't quite get Ellis's words to come out sounding believable.  Then again, to Deen's credit, I'm not quite sure anyone could succeed as the character of Christian does get saddled with much of film's attempt at creating "substance" and "meaning" by talking about what his character perceives as problems with society.  This is where Ellis falters in that I have no desire to hear what these vapid characters have to say about anything.  While I think it's supposed to be skewering the elite Hollywood mindset it depicts, it doesn't succeed.

The rest of the relatively unknown cast actually does a decent job, but the surprise of the film is Lohan.  She definitely looks weathered here and a little worse for the wear, but this was a vehicle aptly made for her and her recent troubles.  She channels a bit of the noir dames of the past and was honestly compelling to watch.  Good luck to her in the future and here's hoping she can turn her life around.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - Blancanieves

Blancanieves (2013)

Starring Maribel Verdú (queen), Daniel Giménez Cacho (father), Sofía Oria (young), and Macarena García (old) 

Directed by Pablo Berger

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

We all know the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs so telling it in a silent black-and-white format as it is in Pablo Berger's Blancanieves won't throw anyone into fits of confusion.  The question is, though, did this tale really need to be updated in this way?  Ultimately, the answer is no and while I appreciated Berger's screenplay's different spin on the Grimm tale, I found myself fighting boredom and stopping the film multiple times as I viewed it.

Boredom never sets in when the evil Encarna (Maribel Verdú) is onscreen, however.  Unfortunately, when she's not in the picture, Blancanieves doesn't have the emotional push to get me to care about the story which is a little odd considering the fact that this flick actually goes into Snow White's background much more than any previous Snow White movie I've seen.  Here, bull fighter Antonio Villata (Daniel Giménez Cacho) is gravely gored during a bullfight.  While he survives only to be a paraplegic, his grief-stricken pregnant wife dies during childbirth.  Unable to live on his own, Villata's live-in nurse cares for and eventually marries him.  This live-in nurse -- the evil Encarna.

That child that was borne to Villata's wife?  Young Carmencita (Sofía Oria) lives with her grandmother for several years until she dies of a heart attack leaving Carmencita essentially orphaned.  Having never met her father before, Carmencita is taken to his palatial abode, but upon arriving is greeted by Encarna who forces her to sleep in the chicken coop and forbids her to see her father.  Eventually, Carmencita breaks Encarna's rule and her relationship with her father blooms in secret without Encarna's knowledge.  Needless to say, this is where the typical Snow White story kicks in.  Once Encarna discovers this familial connection several years later (Carmencita is now a teenager played by Macarena Garcia), she is banished from the house, hunted down by "the hunter," and meets some dwarfs.

While I appreciate the updating and the fleshing out of the story, the film isn't visually stimulating enough (despite a charming "old" look) or unique enough story-wise to captivate.  Blancanieves really only comes alive whenever the scenery-chewing Encarna is onscreen and that just isn't enough to make the flick work.

The RyMickey Rating:  C