Movie Review - The Host

The Host (2013)

Starring Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, Max Irons, Boyd Holbrook, Chandler Canterbury, Frances Fisher, and William Hurt

Directed by Andrew Niccol

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

After the hell that was the Twilight series -- five movies equaling over ten hours of my life that I'll never get back -- I have no idea why I subjected myself to The Host, a sci-fi flicked based on a novel by Twilight author Stephenie Meyer.  I think the only reason is that I had some faith that Andrew Niccol -- writer of the fantastic The Truman Show -- was scripting and lensing the piece and I hoped beyond hope that he'd bring something beyond a teen romance to this piece.  Well, I couldn't have been more mistaken.

Instead of vampires and werewolves, we're subjected to a race of aliens who have taken over Earth.  Parasitically, they've invaded human bodies taking on the appearance of us, but are identifiable because of a silver ring that appears around the eye.  At the start of the film, human Melanie Stryder (Saoirse Ronan) has been captured by a seeker (Diane Kruger) and implanted with an alien life form.  However, Melanie is a strong one and she refuses to have her psyche leave her body.  As the alien sets out on a mission to find other humans to take over, Melanie is constantly yammering and pleading (in an awful Southern accented voiceover) to stop their invasion and find peace with the human race.  There's an awful love triangle that ensues when the alien inside Melanie finds Melanie's younger brother, uncle, and boyfriend -- all of whom have trouble dealing with the fact that the person in front of them looks like Melanie but isn't her at all.

Ugh...to be honest, I'm having trouble writing this one simply because I don't give a damn.  The constantly painful voiceover of human Melanie inside of the now alien Melanie makes this story nearly unfilmable.  Not that it would've been good on paper, but at least in text you can "believe" it a little more.  Here, there's really nothing unique or redeeming about this concept whatsoever.  Seriously, don't make the same mistake I did.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-