Movie Review - Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers (2013)

Starring James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine

Directed by Harmony Korine

If I were some hoity-toity critic, you'd hear me espouse the wonderment that is Spring Breakers.  I'd say:

"It's an amazing look at how our youth is being bombarded with images of sex and violence and how those same images come hand in hand with money and power.  Director-writer Harmony Korine presents these hedonistic elements in a kaleidoscopic barrage that appears to be adding to the onslaught of violence and misogyny.  Instead, it's poking fun of (and lamenting) the culture that idolizes such trash."

I'd probably mention that the simplicity of the plot allows the focus and true meaning of the film to be on the corruption of our youth:

"Good girl Faith (Selena Gomez) and her three college buddies -- Candy (Vanessa Hudgens), Brit (Ashley Benson), and Cotty (Rachel Korine) -- are desperate to go on spring break, but they simply don't have the funds to do so.  One evening while Faith attends a college church meeting, Candy, Brit, and Cotty craft a scheme to perform an armed robbery with fake guns at a local diner.  They prove to be successful and the quartet find themselves traveling to Miami where they engage in liquored-up shenanigans.  The simplicity of the whole thing allows the light to truly be shown on the perils our youth face thanks to the media's constant hyping of sexualized celebrities (just see the Miley Cyrus MTV twerking incident as proof of this)."

I'd then mention how fantastic James Franco is:

"Franco completely embodies the chauvinistic Alien, a rapper who obviously sees himself as a modern-day Scarface (a go-to movie for the modern college crowd).  When he isn't fetishistically idolizing his guns or tossing his money around a room or serenading ladies with a solo piano version of Britney Spears' "Everytime," he's macking on any college gal that looks his way by showing his gold-grilled teeth.  To be honest, Franco is masterful and should certainly be in consideration when awards season comes around."

I'd say all those things if I was a hotiy-toity critic who maybe was in awe that a film like Spring Breakers premiered at the Venice Film Festival.  But I'm not an uppity critic.  I'm a normal guy.  And this normal guy thinks Spring Breakers is a complete waste of time.  This thing is played out like a satire, but the fact of the matter is Korine has created a pretentious mess full of repetitive voice-overs and poorly developed characters that never seem real for even a moment.  It certainly doesn't help that none of the actors (with the exception of Selena Gomez who was surprisingly decent) bring anything worthwhile to the table...especially the overhyped James Franco.   Don't let the more famous critics fool you into believing the hype.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-