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So as you know, I stopped writing lengthy reviews on this site this year, keeping the blog as more of a film diary of sorts.  Lo and behold,...

Sunday, September 07, 2014

The 2013 RyMickey Awards - Worst Film

In a new category I started last year, take a look at the films from 2013 that you should avoid at all costs.

Worst Films of 2013

(Dis)Honorable Mentions
(all films ranked 'D' or below)
(underlined titles link to original reviews)

#10 - The Purge -- D
An interesting premise ruined by an incredibly crappy story that sacrifices believable plot for convenient jump scares.

I'll just come out and say it -- I didn't get this one.  Didn't understand it at all.

Do you like movies that don't have any modicum of a payoff?  This one's for you!

In all fairness, I stopped watching Free Birds twenty minutes in because of how horrible it was...I should've done the same with this.

This coming of age comedy failed to make me laugh and instead succeeded only in annoying me with its lack of believability.

Part I:  We have Twilight to blame for movies like this.

#4 - The Host -- D-
Part II: We have Twilight to blame for movies like this.

#3 - Spring Breakers -- D-
Critics fawned over the hedonistic kaleidoscopic barrage of sex and violence on display as if director Harmony Kormine was poking fun at our modern day culture that idolizes such trash.  I didn't get the joke and thought it was a pretentious piece of crap.

#2 - Passion -- F
Second (or third) tier attempt at a Hitchcockian tone by director Brian DePalma coupled with a horribly over-acted performance by Noomi Rapace makes this one a clunker.

#1 - Aftershock -- F
Sharknado-level direction with even worse acting, I couldn't wait for the insipid sextet of actors to bite the dust after the horribly enacted titular earthquake spins their world into chaos.

Previous Worst Film "Winners"

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