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So as you know, I stopped writing lengthy reviews on this site this year, keeping the blog as more of a film diary of sorts.  Lo and behold,...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Movie Review - Spread (2009)

Starring Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, and Margarita Levieva
Directed by David Mackenzie

I've seen many movies this year (inching closer to 100) and in the case of the new movie Spread there's something to be said for having both the most sex scenes (showcasing a variety of positions and kinky fetishes...all I'll say is "shaving the papaya"...you imagine what that means...) and the highest boob count of the year. I just wish I could've liked the movie...

Ashton Kutcher is Nikki, a young guy who moved to L.A. and is simply living off of women...moving from woman to woman, sleeping with them, shacking up in their homes, using their credit cards, while, at the same time, sleeping with other women. His latest catch is Samantha (a surprisingly sexy Anne Heche), a lawyer who, despite realizing that Nikki is kind of mooching off of her, can't seem to let go of this boy toy who is paying her loving attention (most of the time). When Nikki's not with Samantha, he's with the younger Heather (Margarita Levieva), a female version of himself.

My biggest problem with the flick is that I felt like it didn't bring anything new to the table. From the voiceover by Nikki at the very beginning, I knew he was going to "change" by the end (sorry, did I ruin it for you?). He was going to fall in love and realize that his whorish ways were wrong. Sure, the ending didn't quite conclude the way I thought it would, but I can't really say I was surprised. I don't know if it's just that I'm so completely the antithesis of pricks like Nikki, but I find it tough to watch movies where ladies fall head over heels for these assholes (Ugly Truth is another example)...why?

Kutcher was okay, but I couldn't help but think of the Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange as Nikki strolled around wearing thin suspenders and rolled-up, cuffed jeans and pants. I just never felt like I wasn't watching him act. Same goes for Margarita Levieva...I actually thought she was fine prior to becoming the female version of Nikki, but once she became the "slutty" girl, I just didn't buy her in the role. The only person I actually enjoyed here was Anne Heche. As I said above, she was refreshingly sexy and definitely drew my attention in every scene she was in. It's a shame she went missing during the final act of the movie.

The RyMickey Rating: D

3 comments:

  1. I absolutely hate his voiceover in the trailer. It's like he made his voice intentionally gruff.

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  2. I didn't see the trailer, but I would agree that the voiceover sounded intentionally gruff solely for the sake of "sounding cool."

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  3. I watched this again recently, it's better than a D. Not saying it was great or anything, but.... you're wrong here.

    Or whatever.

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