Featuring the voice talent of Tina Fey, Liam Neeson, Betty White, Cate Blanchett, and Matt Damon
Written and Directed by Hayao Miyazaki
Written and Directed by Hayao Miyazaki
I liked the watercolor look of the film and the score.
Now that that's out of the way, let's try and explain why the rest of this film isn't any good.
Sosuke is a five year-old boy who finds a fish-like creature he names Ponyo while exploring the Japanese coastline. He brings Ponyo home and all seems well, but Ponyo's father (a human who lives under the sea in some bubble house thing) is searching for her, longing for her return. He uses his mystical powers to coerce the sea into getting her back. However, Ponyo now has "tasted human blood" and wants to be a human. Lucky for her, she has the powers to simply grow hands and feet, and through some mystical bullshit she swims up to the surface, walks on water, and finds herself back in the arms of Sosuke.
Weird enough for you yet? There's more...Sosuke and Ponyo become good friends, but as we soon find out, Ponyo's existence on the surface has caused the oceans to rise and be pulled upward by the moon's gravitational pull (or something like that). So, a bunch of the land on Earth is now underwater. The only way things can revert back to normal is if Sosuke can pass some kind of test (about love? kindness? I'm not quite sure). I guess he passed it, but not before Ponyo turns back into a fish. Susoke meets up with his mom (who leaves this five-year old unattended for nearly the whole second half of the movie) by traveling under the sea into some giant bubble that at one point is filled with air and then at the next point filled with water...it doesn't really matter what it's filled with, though, because humans can breathe and talk in it regardless of the environment. Anyway, in the end, Ponyo's a human and world order is restored (thank God!).
Odd, huh? I didn't even mention there's some weird god-like creature who I think had sex with Ponyo's father to create Ponyo and the array of smaller Ponyos that swim around like little sperm with faces and flowing red robes (I'm honestly not sure of that sex part, but I do think that this goddess and Ponyo's pop had something going on...cue the bomchickawahwah music).
Okay, so I realize that I just rambled about the story, but that's exactly what the movie does, too. It just rambles...on and on and on.
I don't get it. If I didn't get what the hell was going on, how the heck is a six-year old supposed to? I honestly can't believe that Disney is putting this out into 800 theaters this upcoming weekend. I can't imagine this thing being successful.
But, hey...it looked pretty...
Now that that's out of the way, let's try and explain why the rest of this film isn't any good.
Sosuke is a five year-old boy who finds a fish-like creature he names Ponyo while exploring the Japanese coastline. He brings Ponyo home and all seems well, but Ponyo's father (a human who lives under the sea in some bubble house thing) is searching for her, longing for her return. He uses his mystical powers to coerce the sea into getting her back. However, Ponyo now has "tasted human blood" and wants to be a human. Lucky for her, she has the powers to simply grow hands and feet, and through some mystical bullshit she swims up to the surface, walks on water, and finds herself back in the arms of Sosuke.
Weird enough for you yet? There's more...Sosuke and Ponyo become good friends, but as we soon find out, Ponyo's existence on the surface has caused the oceans to rise and be pulled upward by the moon's gravitational pull (or something like that). So, a bunch of the land on Earth is now underwater. The only way things can revert back to normal is if Sosuke can pass some kind of test (about love? kindness? I'm not quite sure). I guess he passed it, but not before Ponyo turns back into a fish. Susoke meets up with his mom (who leaves this five-year old unattended for nearly the whole second half of the movie) by traveling under the sea into some giant bubble that at one point is filled with air and then at the next point filled with water...it doesn't really matter what it's filled with, though, because humans can breathe and talk in it regardless of the environment. Anyway, in the end, Ponyo's a human and world order is restored (thank God!).
Odd, huh? I didn't even mention there's some weird god-like creature who I think had sex with Ponyo's father to create Ponyo and the array of smaller Ponyos that swim around like little sperm with faces and flowing red robes (I'm honestly not sure of that sex part, but I do think that this goddess and Ponyo's pop had something going on...cue the bomchickawahwah music).
Okay, so I realize that I just rambled about the story, but that's exactly what the movie does, too. It just rambles...on and on and on.
I don't get it. If I didn't get what the hell was going on, how the heck is a six-year old supposed to? I honestly can't believe that Disney is putting this out into 800 theaters this upcoming weekend. I can't imagine this thing being successful.
But, hey...it looked pretty...
The RyMickey Rating: D
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