Movie Review - New York, I Love You (2009)

Starring Jacinda Barrett, Rachel Bilson, Orlando Bloom, Hayden Christensen, Julie Christie, Bradley Cooper, Chris Cooper, Drea de Matteo, Andy Garcia, Ethan Hawke, Shia LaBeouf, Cloris Leachman, Robin Wright Penn, Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci, Qi Shu, Eli Wallach, and Anton Yelchin
Directed by 11 Directors of Varying Talent

I certainly haven't seen many short film collections, but it seems a difficult, unenviable task to assemble an anthology such as this. There's bound to be some works that are better than others and, when placed next to these intriguing shorts, all the other shorts pale in comparison. That's the case in New York, I Love You where you'll find three really good short films, but the other seven or so fall flat (or, at the very best, are simply adequate) and bog the film down.

Let's start with the good:

• My favorite segment was by director Allen Hughes starring Bradley Cooper and Drea de Matteo as two lovers who are contemplating the ramifications of their one-night stand. The short jumps back and forth between the two actors as the story is told through a voiceover depicting their thoughts and flashbacks to their sensual night before.
• Another winner was a segment starring Ethan Hawke and Qi Shu, directed by Yvan Attel. Hawke spends five minutes trying to bed married gal Shu whom he meets smoking on an NYC sidewalk. Little does he know that she's able to one-up him in the end. Later in the film, there's a segment starring Robin Wright Penn and Chris Cooper that appears to be very much the same story with the woman, Wright Penn, taking over Hawke's role. As I was watching it, I couldn't help but notice the similarity and I wondered to myself, why would they allow two shorts in this film to have such a similar storyline? Little did I know that they were directed by the same guy.
• The only other segment that I really enjoyed was directed by Joshua Marston and stars Cloris Leachman and Eli Wallach as an elderly couple celebrating their anniversary by returning to a memorable NYC landmark for them. Quite funny and beautifully acted by the two folks.

Unfortunately, after that, everything starts to go downhill. The segment Natalie Portman directed about a young girl and her father was alright (and starred one of my first crushes, Jacinda Barrett -- "Real World"er turned actress), but it wasn't anything special. And the segment that Portman starred in about some odd relationship between a Yiddish woman and an Indian man was awful.

In fact, the first three segments of this movie (of which Portman's starring role occurred in the middle) were awful. Starting the movie with the reteaming of Jumper stars Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson was a huge mistake. Bilson's a beauty to look at, but she can't act and Christensen was horrendous. And short #3 about Orlando Bloom as a composer was not good, either.

I haven't even discussed the obnoxiously pretentious segment about remembering one's youth starring Julie Christie and Shia LaBouef. The way it was filmed, it felt like I was watching some really expensive perfume commercial. Ugh.

The acting was all over the place -- some good performances (both Coopers, Hawke, Leachman, and Wallach) and some awful ones (Christensen, Bilson, Andy Garcia, Anton Yelchin) -- as was the direction.

Despite the fact that there were some good segments here, it just didn't work for me. And it certainly didn't seem to showcase New York City to me at all. In fact, the city came off as kind of drab.

The RyMickey Rating: D+