Movie Review - Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Starring Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Rufus Sewell

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov

It's always nice when I can finally watch a movie and call it the worst I've seen all year.  There's a little bit of a thrill that is unleashed when I finally get one of the worst under my belt.  I feel like the pressure's off.  If someone were to ask me "What's your least favorite film of 2012?," I can at least answer with conviction and say "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," a horrendously painful mix of history and horror filmed with ludicrously gimmicky camerawork by "visionary director" Timur Bekmambetov.

The title of the film tells the story for the most part.  As a child, Abe Lincoln witnesses his mother being attacked and killed by a vampire and as he grows older, he vows to fight the evil monsters who somehow or another are a driving force to keep slavery enacted during the Civil War -- or at least I think they are.  I'll admit to losing interest multiple times, but with a wooden performance by Benjamin Walker as the title character and a director who attempts to do anything he can with his camera -- slow motion, sped-up motion, close-up kills -- I found myself fighting back the yawns.  None of the action sequences look remotely real.  Everything is either too computer animated or too choppily edited to either look believable or make sense.

But the biggest problem is that for a film called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter there's zero fun on display.  Everything feels incredibly heavy-handed and overly serious.  This movie is about a really tall president killing a bunch of supernatural beings.  There should be some modicum of unabashed fun...and there's not the slightest to be found.

The RyMickey Rating:  F