Movie Review - North

North (1994)

Starring Elijah Wood, Jon Lovitz, Bruce Willis, Matthew McCurly, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, Reba McEntire, Kathy Bates, John Ritter, Faith Ford, and Scarlett Johannson

Directed by Rob Reiner

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

***Posted as part of the Elijah Wood Early 90s Mini Film Festival***

I remember watching North as a kid and thinking that I really liked it.  I also remember watching a 1994 Year in Review show on Siskel and Ebert and Siskel called this film "deplorable."  I was livid that Siskel hated this.  How dare he!  But, for some reason or another, I never watched this movie again.  Until today, that is, and I can now fully understand why Siskel trashed it.

North (Elijah Wood) is your average run-of-the-mill young kid who does quite well in school, has the starring roles in plays, and is quite adept at hitting a baseball.  The problem is that his parents (Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus) don't pay him any mind, finding themselves too wrapped up in their miserable jobs to notice their son.  Fed up, North decides that he's going to take his parents to court and ask the judge (Alan Arkin) to allow him to find new parents.  The judge agrees and North sets out on his mission that takes him to Texas, Hawaii, Alaska, and New York where he meets both a wide array of kooky and quirky adults vying for him to be their son and a guardian angel of sorts (Bruce Willis) who pops up in every scene to remind North that maybe he really belongs back home with his real folks.

My problem with the film is that it just isn't funny and it is attempting to be.  The jokes are horrendous.  Here's a sample of one:  When North visits Hawaii, he asks why Mr. and Mrs. Ho want him to be their son.  Mr. Ho responds by saying, "Hawaii is a lush and fertile land.  In fact, there's only one barren area on all our islands.  Unfortunately, it's Mrs. Ho."  Yep, that's the kind of humor we're talking about.

Maybe at 14, I thought this was a rather adult kid's movie.  Seeing as how I had two younger brothers, I was still in the phase where I was being taken to see the most "kiddie" of kid movies and with North's bad language and talk about sex, maybe I thought it was a bit edgy.  Nowadays, it just doesn't work.

Still, I must give credit where credit is due.  I actually really liked the subplot about North's best friend Winchell (Matthew McCurly), a school newspaper reporter who starts a Che-like revolution amongst the kids across the country, telling them to stand up to their parents and take control of their lives.  Clever and well acted (even if it is played over-the-top), any scene with McCurly at least brought a bit of a relief from the onslaught of godawful auditioning parents.

In preparation for this review, I found the Siskel and Ebert clip of them reviewing it and Ebert throws out the line "I hated this movie as much as any movie we've ever reviewed in the nineteen years we've been doing this show."  While I wouldn't go that far, North is a movie that simply doesn't work...and it certainly makes me question my cinematic tastes from back in the day.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-