The Expendables (2010)
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Charisma Carpenter, and Mickey Rourke
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
As a guy, it's probably sacrilege for me to say this, but The Expendables is awful. Starring, directed, and co-written by Sylvester Stallone, there is not a decently shot, written, or acted scene in this dreadful muck. Action movies should be fun. This one, about a group of men ranging from middle age to old geezer who are sent forth on a mission to bring down some evil Latin American government, is a bore filled with excessive gore which, in and of itself, would be perfectly acceptable if the violence actually looked good as opposed to looking like it came from the designers of the latest SyFy movie. There's nothing wrong with a good decapitation here or there, but make it look realistic. Is that too much to ask?
Of course it's also too much to ask for these "big name action stars" to have any semblance of acting chops. Stallone is awful. Jet Li is one-note. Dolph Lundgren is painful to listen to. Mickey Rourke proves that his stellar turn in The Wrestler was just a fluke...I could go on and on. Jason Statham is the only one who comes off as bringing anything to his character beyond the simple task of reading the horrible dialog. And even he is saddled with a completely unnecessary subplot involving some chick who won't reciprocate his love. When a cameo two-minute walk-on role from Bruce Willis is the best part of your movie, you know you're in trouble.
Honestly, there's nothing remotely recommendable in this movie. It was really awful and well-deserved of its Razzie nominations.
The RyMickey Rating: D-
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