Movie Review - I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)

Starring Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, and Jack Carpenter
Written by Larry Doyle
Directed by Chris Columbus

When I was searching for the movie poster on the right (in which Hayden Panettiere's head looks oddly photoshopped onto someone else's body), there were images of a book of the same title that came up. Initially, I thought to myself, Hmmm...maybe I'll read the book. See how much better than the movie it is (it wouldn't have been too terribly hard, as you'll see). Then, I saw that the screenwriter of the film also wrote the book which means he obviously approved (in some way) of how this movie turned out. So, nix reading the book.

About thirty minutes into the movie, I said that whoever directed this really doesn't know how to direct comedy at all. Lines were falling flat. Awkward silences abounded. There wasn't a natural flow to the flick. Then, when the credits pop up and Chris Columbus's name appears, I was kind of shocked. I mean, this guy directed Home Alone (which, let me tell you, has aged pretty damn well) and a cult classic (of mine anyway) Adventures in Babysitting. He knows his way around comedy. Well, not in this one.

"Dorky guy" Denis (Rust) professes his love for "hot chick" Beth Cooper (Panettiere) during his valedictorian speech at high school graduation. Beth has a "cool, strong boyfriend" who ain't too happy about this and he decides to seek revenge by beating him up. Oooh...scary, I know. A few car chases, cow stampedes, and angry raccoons later, Beth realizes that Denis is a nice guy and maybe she should give him a chance. Did I give too much away? Sorry.

Anyway, if I'm being completely honest, the movie wasn't awful. There were several good lines and a few scenes that were actually kind of funny. Still, the characters were all one-note stereotypes (I failed to mention Denis's best friend Rich [Carpenter] who likes to quote movies and may or may not be gay...apparently that was supposed to be funny because it seemed like nearly half the jokes were him trying to tell people that he wasn't gay...Hilarity!). The acting (which could've maybe saved the weak plot) wasn't necessarily bad, but it was nothing to write home about. Panettiere, probably best known from tv's Heroes, ain't a movie star, that's for sure. And Paul Rust (who apparently will next be seen in Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds) better enjoy his little bit of fame now.

If I'm being completely honest, this is the kind of movie that called for a little more raunchiness. Were this thing made in the 80s, the shower scene that occurred in this movie would've undoubtedly involved nudity. I'm not saying nudity would've been the cure (I'm actually not a huge fan of nudity for nudity's sake in movies...I'm actually on record somewhere on this blog or this one saying that), but the movie needed something more. Typically, I'm not a fan of tremendously risqué pics, but I walked out of this one feeling like it needed a little pick-me-up shot in the arm or something.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Coming Attractions

Nothing really exciting in this batch. I'm only posting the latter two of these because some of us discussed them during a recent journey to Philadelphia. The first one's getting posted because I'm sure they're gonna push it to be an Oscar contender.

Brothers

I'm all for the return of Natalie Portman and I'm okay with Jake Gyllenhaal, too. But this just kind of looks silly.

The Collector - Red Band Trailer - NSFW

Despite the fact that I've never seen a single Saw movie all the way through, I'm vaguely interested in this. I'm not sure why...

Deadgirl - NSFW

I'm posting this because "Anonymous" talked about it after her trek up to NYC to see her favorite movie of all time, Newsies. This looks quite different from that. The premise sounds more interesting to me than the trailer, though. This is one movie that I'll never see, though, as we'll never get it anywhere around here since it features no stars.

Theatre Review - The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid
When: Saturday, July 11, 2009, 8pm
Where: Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, New York City
Type: Musical, Professional, Broadway

The less said about this, the better.

I saw it simply because it was Disney and simply because it was closing in late August. The movie started Disney's animation renaissance in the late 80s/early 90s, but this stage show was just the pits (especially when compared to Disney's previous Broadway efforts -- The Lion King, Mary Poppins, and Beauty and the Beast).

Just about everything about this one was subpar. Several leads -- Chelsea Morgan Stock's Ariel, Drew Seeley's Eric, and Norm Lewis' King Triton, in particular -- were weak...both vocally and acting-wise. When your two leads are disappointing, it makes your whole production fall apart. Tony Award winner Faith Prince's Ursula was acceptable (and certainly a small positive in the production), but the director/writers of the show managed to downplay the pizazz and chutzpah of the character from the movie. Ursula could very likely be my favorite Disney villain with my favorite Disney villain theme song ("Poor Unfortunate Souls" which sounds like its made for a Broadway show), but they manage to make the song (which serves as the First Act closer) to fall flat. The understudy playing Sebastian was a pleasant surprise. The bright spot of the show was little Trevor Braun's Flounder. This kid showed more energy than anyone else onstage.

Braun is helped by the fact that he has a catchy new song he gets to sing. And, for the most part, the new songs added to the production are pretty good and mesh fairly well with the original songs carried over from the movie. However, the production of all of the songs was awful. There was no ebb and flow to the staging of the show -- it's as if the director said, "Stand center stage for 30 seconds, move to the left for 20 seconds, then move back to center stage again for the rest of the song." The staging seemed very "high school musical" (having been in two, I feel like I can say that). Nothing seemed real or genuine. (I realize I'm talking about seeing a play with mermaids and complaining about a lack of realism, but I hope you get my point.)

The sets looked like plastic toys and the costumes weren't any better. I will say that I didn't hate how they utilized some unique looking waves in order to simulate being above and below the sea. And the mermaids/fish/crabs/etc. gliding along the stage on Heelies (you know, those shoes with wheels in the heels) didn't bother me at all. In fact, it was a unique method of depicting the flowing under the sea.

Still, I didn't enjoy this one at all...which is a shame since the movie still stands the test of time (I watched it a little over a year ago and enjoyed it quite a bit). Oh, well. You can't win 'em all.

A Year of Firsts

A Saturday trip to New York City yielded the following:

• Rode the NYC subway for the first time
• Subsequently got lost on the NYC subway for the first time (the getting lost was not my fault)
• Went to the site of the World Trade Center -- a mess of fences, but shockingly smaller than I thought it was going to be; still, there's something eerie and disquieting about the site; especially the small memorial at the fire company station that was less than a block away; I look forward to returning in several years when it's all rebuilt because, right now, there are, unfortunately, no real memorials to the fallen.
  
• Saw Battery Park for the first time
• Went to the Wall Street area of NYC for the first time
  
• Saw the Statue of Liberty for the first time
• Saw Central Park for the first time
• Tried grits for the first time (Doesn't fit in with the theme at all...but, as exciting as it is, it happened...)
  

Movie Review - Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Starring Kevin James and Jayma Mays
Written by Kevin James and Nick Bakay
Directed by Steve Carr

This flick has only been out for six months and it's already the butt of jokes (Brüno contains a reference to it). By no means is this a good flick, but it's not quite as bad as the jokes may make you think it is.

The reason for that is Kevin James -- I think he's a reasonably likable guy in this movie. I enjoy him on King of Queens, and I must admit that I thought he was pretty decent in this ridiculous movie. In fact, for the most part, the actors in this were much better than in other Adam Sandler-produced Happy Madison productions.

Blart is a mall cop who takes his job very seriously. However, when (the nicest ever) hijackers take over the mall, Blart is the only one who can help the five hostages. There's a silly love story between Blart and mall worker, Amy (the cute Jayma Mays, who I first saw and liked immensely in the underrated thriller Red Eye a few years ago), and although it's stupid, it didn't feel nearly as forced as it could have.

This isn't a good movie, but it isn't necessarily a horrible one.

RANDOM THOUGHT: A movie pet peeve of mine was evident in this flick: using 80s music to try and bring about cheap laughter. A corny 80s song does not equal hilarity -- and they attempt this laugh six or seven times in this movie. Barry Manilow does not automatically receive a chuckle. Sorry.

The RyMickey Rating: D+

Movie Review - Brüno (2009)

Starring Sacha Baron Cohen

Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer, and Jeff Schaffer

Directed by Larry Charles

My Year of Firsts continues! I'm fairly certain this is the first (non-porn) movie I've seen that has had the following disclaimer tagged onto the end: "All sexual acts depicted onscreen were performed by persons eighteen years of age or older." Whoopee! The Year of Firsts continues to grow! [Note to any family reading this: Please disregard the "non-porn" disclaimer that I tacked on above. Porn? What is that? Never heard of it.]

Where to even start. Should I start with a paraphrased quote from the movie: "I'd rather stab my eyes with hot pokers than watch that again." Or perhaps this one: "That was worse than cancer."

Or do I start with the fact that if seeing a close-up straight-on shot of a wriggling, dancing, twirling penis for 15 seconds is your idea of good time then this is the movie for you (I'm guessing at the amount of seconds said penis was onscreen because my eyes were focused on anything but the screen at that moment). [Side note: Year of First continues! First time I've written "penis" on my blog! Whoopee! Ugh...]

Or do I start with the fact that the German umlaut (that funky thing over the 'u' in Brüno's name) is my favorite accent to place over a vowel. It could totally take down the sorry French and their accents both aigu (é) and circonflex (ê). And don't even get me started on the Spanish and their tilda (ñ)...all curvy...what kind of accent is that?

Um...I don't really know where to go with this one. Cohen's previous venture into big screen exhibitionism was with Borat. This one goes sleazier and sicker and "pushes the envelope" (Can I get that line credited to me in a commercial). Brüno is a gay host of a German television fashion show that gets abruptly canceled after he ruins a runway show in Europe. We in America must be more forward-thinking than those Europeans! Cross the Atlantic, Brüno! Similar to Borat who came to America in search of our good old "apple pie values" and work ethic, Brüno (God, I love that umlaut) comes to America in search of fame!

The film ends (I'm gonna skip the whole middle because there's no point in discussing it) with a scene similar to what happens at the end of Borat (of course this is after the actual sex scenes that we witness which were conveniently -- and thankfully -- hidden behind strategically placed black boxes...actual sex scenes...my mind is still reeling that this got an 'R', I guess). In Borat, the title character attends a rodeo and pisses (metaphorically speaking) on Middle America's values by essentially calling them racists. In this flick, Brüno goes to a cage wrestling match and makes out with another man while (metaphorically speaking) calling Middle America homophobes.

All of the scenes are supposed to look as if they are really happening with real "American" people, but for the most part, it would be mind-boggling to me if a huge chunk of this wasn't staged. If it is "real," the fact that the filmmakers can avoid being sued as they finagle whatever contracts they make these people sign by lying to them is insane to me -- saying "Hey, do you want to be in a movie" and leaving out the part where they fuck them over by making them look like total idiots onscreen (I'm talking to you, former presidential candidate Ron Paul). I guess the scenes are supposed to be funny, but the movie just makes me feel bad for these "real" people for some reason.

Admittedly, I think I laughed three or four times (which is three or four more times than I laughed in Year One and Dance Flick...combined!). But that still doesn't make this a good movie by any stretch of the imagination.

Maybe making fun of the Hollywood elite and their obsessions with whatever they're obsessed with at the moment could've been funny, but instead Cohen rehashes the same crappy schtick from Borat -- making fun of Middle America because of their so-called "backwards" value system. I asked my two fellow moviewatchers after the flick (our third companion was the smart one and actually walked out) whether the movie is trying to say that if you hate this movie, you're homophobic. A topic of debate that no one will want to discuss because all three of us will want to cleanse any images of this film from our memory.

The RyMickey Rating: F

Movie Review - Not Easily Broken (2009)

Starring Morris Chestnut, Taraji P. Henson, and Jennifer Lewis
Written by Brian Bird
Directed by Bill Duke

Couple is happily married. 15 years go by. Couple is just rolling along, living a boring existence, neither really happy with the other. Horrible accident happens. Wife gets hurt. Wife gets angry at husband for not spending enough time with her. Wife's mother gets angry. Husband thinks about cheating on his wife because she's such a jerk to him.

Who cares about any of the above...I can't even bring myself to write complete sentences about the movie.

It's not that it was the worst thing ever, but every single stereotype is present here. Based on a book by a popular African American reverend, it's nice to see a movie that focuses on trying to save your marriage...but your movie needs to be good. Simply being nice doesn't cut it.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Movie Review - Moon (2009)

Starring Sam Rockwell
Written by Nathan Parker
Directed by Duncan Jones

It's always tough to live up to expectations. When your good friend tells you that this is his favorite movie of the year (and when you and said friend have a similar taste [generally speaking] in movies), you'll go into this with high hopes. I honestly was just hoping I'd have a semblance of enjoyment...and more than a semblance was had.

Sam Bell (Rockwell) has lived on the moon for three years, working for a company that is harvesting energy from beneath the lunar surface. His only companion is the moon base's computer, Gerty (voiced by Kevin Spacey). Sam is getting close to the end of his three-year solo stint and is eagerly awaiting returning home to his wife and his young daughter. However, his three years alone on the barren moon have perhaps turned him a little crazy as he begins to see hallucinations that make him begin to question both himself and the company he works for.

This is Rockwell's film and his film alone -- he is in every single scene. I don't want to give anything away (because there are a few surprises in this sci-fi/suspense/drama), but as an actor, he needs to run the gamut of emotions in this tale, while at the same time holding the audience's attention since he is the only thing we see -- and he does both extremely well.

He is helped by some stellar direction by Duncan Jones, making his feature film directorial debut. Now, I have no idea what the budget was on this movie, but I can't imagine it was a whole lot. They (I have no idea who the "they" is -- Jones and the producers, I guess?) make this movie look expensive which certainly helps the sci-fi tone. Cheap sci-fi is just cheesy and this does not look like cheap sci-fi. Top-notch production design for sure in this one.

I'm sitting here typing this, thinking of a multitude of questions I want to ask someone which, in my mind, is a good thing, because the film has got my mind contemplating what I just saw. Movies that do that are always a plus.

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - Public Enemies (2009)

Starring Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, and Billy Crudup
Written by Ronan Bennett and Michael Mann & Ann Biderman
Directed by Michael Mann

I don't even know where to begin. There's hardly anything I liked about this movie.

The acting felt phoned in by all. Depp is notorious 1930s bank robber John Dillinger, and Bale is the government guy that wants to stop him. Cotillard is the annoying, irritating girlfriend of Dillinger, who, for some reason falls in love the bank robber despite the fact that the movie doesn't explain why. All three of these stars were bland beyond bland. While Depp and Bale were okay, Cotillard was awful (and she's the one with the Oscar!). Any scene between her and Depp made me want to fall asleep.

The movie is just so incredibly flat. Nothing really happens over 145 minutes. The final climax is a complete dud...and it drags on for an eternity. You would think that bank robbery scenes would be exciting, but every single robbery scene was shot in the same exact way by director Mann and his cinematographer, Dante Spinotti. Now, I don't usually call out anyone other than the director or the writer in my posts, but the cinematographer in this deserves a beating and Mann deserves one, too, for allowing this travesty to be shot this way on film. The modern-day handheld shooting may have been a "cool" juxtaposition against the 1930s story, but seemingly EVERY SINGLE SHOT is either (a) shaky or (b) an extreme close-up. I'd like to see whole faces to see facial expressions sometimes, not just an eye, folks!

Pretty much everything about this I hated...the musical score by Elliot Goldenthal was horrendous. The editing by Jeffrey Ford and Paul Rubell was heinous. The only thing that saves this movie from complete failure (yes, I hated it that much) is the stuff like the costuming, set design, and art direction. And even then, they were nothing special.

Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for this, but this is far and away the most disappointing flick of the summer for me. I've seen worse, but at least Year One knew how bad it was...at least I think it did (how can it not?). This one thought it was something special, but it disappointed me how awful it was.

The RyMickey Rating: D-

Movie Review - Whatever Works (2009)

Starring Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Ed Begley, Jr., and Conleth Hill

Written and directed by Woody Allen

I can live with or without Woody Allen movies. I can also live with or without Seinfeld (of which star Larry David played a big role in its creation). I went into Whatever Works with both those possible issues in mind, so I wasn't expecting much.

And I was pleasantly surprised.

Larry David is Boris Yellnikoff, a crotchety curmudgeon who really doesn't like anyone or anything. In some ways, he's the stereotypical middle age-to-elderly Jewish guy that we've seen in many flicks. Somehow, though, David makes this thing work. It helps that Woody has him talk directly to the camera at points. That connection with the audience, to me, was the reason I immediately connected with the flick. But, it's also proved to be a detriment in that I longed for David to always be onscreen. When he wasn't I just wasn't laughing all that much.

Anyway, the story is pretty simple, and, once again, it's another May-December romance from Woody Allen. The December of the equation is David, and the May is Evan Rachel Wood's Melodie St. Ann Celestine, a southern girl who has run away from her home to try and make it in New York City. When Boris sees Melodie on the street, he reluctantly allows her to spend the night in his home to get off the street. One night turns into two, two nights turn into two weeks, and as his distrust and distaste for all mankind begins to rub off on the formerly sweet and naive Melodie, the two end becoming two peas in a pod and end up getting married.

Like I said above, when the film focused on Boris, I loved it. The humor here was super-intelligent...I will readily admit that I didn't understand some of it, but it never made me angry that I didn't get it, because there was always another joke coming right on its tail. The problem begins when Melody's ultra-Christian mother (Clarkson) shows up and the story shifts from nonstop Boris humor to supporting cast humor. Clarkson was great, too, don't get me wrong, and her character was quite funny...but I longed to get back to Boris.

It also didn't help that Melodie, realizing that Boris may not be "the one," begins to fall in love with, it seems, the most boring guy on the planet (Conleth Hill) who happens to be much closer to her age. This romance felt shockingly more forced than the love between Melodie and Boris -- obviously, Woody didn't feel like writing anything good for the young guy trying to steal away his (I mean, Boris's) girl. The only other minor fault is that I was wishy-washy on Evan Rachel Wood's character. When she first appeared onscreen I literally said to myself, "This is gonna be a long movie if I don't get used to that corny Southern accent." Well, I did get used to the accent, but I also never really fully felt like Wood wasn't acting...it's surprising to me because, really, all Larry David is doing here is playing himself, but I felt like he embodied Boris more than Wood embodied Melodie.

Still, definitely the funniest movie I've seen this year. It was oh-so-close to a B+, but the problems I mentioned in the last paragraph brought it down a notch.

The RyMickey Rating: B+
(EDIT: Slight change...this movie was just too funny to merit a 'B'. Despite its faults, I laughed a whole heck of a lot...and isn't that the point in a comedy?)

Movie Review - Away We Go (2009)

Starring John Krasinksi, Maya Rudolph, Allison Janney, Jim Gaffigan, Catherine O'Hara, Jeff Daniels, and Maggie Gyllenhaal
Written by Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida
Directed by Sam Mendes

I've said before that I admit that indie films have to work harder for me to like them for the simple reason that I don't like films that shout "I'm hip and edgy" which many low budget flicks scream to me. Your film can be "hip" or "edgy," but not obnoxiously so.

The weird thing about Away We Go is that despite that folk-pop soundtrack, and that thrift store-style "hip" costuming, and certain requisite indie camera shots (like following a couple down a moving airport sidewalk...saw that in Garden State and several movies after that, Mr. Mendes), the film is anything but edgy. It's not filled with Juno-esque dialogue (thank God), but it is filled with quirky characters who make the film completely lose any "realness," and who, in turn, make the film fall from good to below average.

Burt and Verona (Krasinski and Rudolph) are a loving couple, making a living (barely), who are expecting a baby in three months. Once they are given the news that Burt's parents (O'Hara and Daniels) are leaving the country, the couple decides to visit friends and relatives to try and find a place to settle down so that their newborn baby will be around a loving familial community. Through the episodic pacing of the film, we travel to Arizona and meet Verona's zany friend Lily (Janney) and her downtrodden hubby, Lowell (Gaffigan). Soon, we travel to the midwest and meet Burt's friend, LN (Gyllenhaal), a weirdo liberal professor. These three characters Burt and Verona meet up with, in particular, were the sole reasons the film fell apart. Yes, they provided laughter, but they were awful caricatures of stereotypical people. Gyllenhaal's LN, in particular, was horrendously bad. Her flowing arm movements and her flowing clothing and the flowing random verbiage ("Peace! Love! Have sex in front of your kids...It's natural!") that spewed from her mouth were all ridiculous. Yes, she was funny (as was Janney and Daniels and O'Hara), but she was completley a "character" and not a "real person." (Oddly enough, I felt that in screenwriter Dave Eggers' book -- A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius -- that the problem was in his inability to get me to care for the side peripheral characters...similar problem here.)

The supporting cast issue is unfortunate because Krasinski and Rudolph both are as real as it gets. Both of these actors, neither of which are "stars" by any means, really had me glued to the screen. There wasn't a doubt in my mind when I was watching this flick that these two characters really loved each other. One scene that I loved was when Burt and Verona visited their friends, Tom and Munch (Chris Messina and Melanie Lynsky), in Montreal. Tom and Munch are the proud parents of a brood of adopted kids, but one evening, Tom emotionally reveals to Burt that Munch has had five miscarriages and doesn't understand why such a loving mother would be unable to have kids of her own. The look on Burt's face after hearing the story really got to me -- and showed me what a good actor Krasinski can be. Similarly, Rudolph (who was definitely a favorite of mine on Saturday Night Live) has a scene in bed with Krasinski where Burt tells Verona that he loves her and she starts to cry. It felt so right on and real. There were many more scenes like these that worked wonderfully.

I loved nearly every scene with Burt and Verona, so it was such a shame that nearly every side character (with the exception of the absolutely touching and beautifully portrayed aforementioned Montreal couple) seemed so fake. Overall, Sam Mendes' new effort couldn't match up to his modern-day masterpiece, Revolutionary Road, despite the fact that the two leads were great.

The RyMickey Rating: C

A Book a Week - I Am America (And So Can You!)

Book Twenty-Nine of the Book-A-Week Quest

I Am America (And So Can You!)
by Stephen Colbert (2007)

I don't really watch The Colbert Report, but I'd certainly rather watch Colbert than Jon Stewart's mug on The Daily Show. If they must make fun of my peeps (that'd be us conservatives...and note, us conservatives are certainly hip enough to use the term "peeps"), I'd rather be made fun of by someone who's at least pretending to be one us.

Colbert's book is clever -- a manifesto, of sorts, detailing how his conservative America would look if all liberals understood the errors of their ways (I kid, I kid...sort of...).

I laughed aloud several times as he takes his conservative character to outrageous extremes. That being said, the book is about 100 pages too long. Halfway through, I was getting bored of his humor...it kind of felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again. Sure, there were certainly bits and pieces in the 2nd half that were clever, but it just got to be too repetitive.

Overall, though, a funny book. As a young person with conservative leanings, I can honestly say that I laughed more than enough to recommend the book.

Movie Review - My Sister's Keeper (2009)

Starring Cameron Diaz, Abigail Breslin, Alec Baldwin, Jason Patric, Sofia Vassilieva, and Joan Cusack
Written by Jeremy Leven and Nick Cassavetes
Directed by Nick Cassavetes

I wasn't expecting a single thing from this flick and it definitely turned out to be a touching summer surprise.

Sara and Brian Fitzgerald (Diaz and Patric) are a young couple with a daughter, Kate (Vassilieva), who is diagnosed with leukemia. Faced with no solutions, a doctor recommends that they try an experimental technique where they create a test tube baby whose blood marrow, blood, and organs would be an exact match for Kate. Cut to eleven years later and the biologically "created" daughter, Anna (Breslin), is seemingly fed up with her parents' insistence to use her to help her sister, and decides to attempt to medically emancipate herself from her family. You can imagine, that doesn't sit too well with her parents since Anna's refusal will, without fail, cause Kate's death.

I had an extended debate after this film with someone and I'm not going to rehash it here, but it kind of (sort of) has to do with this: Yes...it does appear that Diaz loves Kate more than her other two kids (at the very least, she at least focuses much more on Kate than her other two children)...but it's out of desperation, I think, more than anything else. Does that make her a bad mother? One could make that argument. I'm not a parent, but I would imagine it would be incredibly difficult to watch one of your children suffer, and I would imagine one would do whatever necessary to save one's child. Diaz is not a perfect mother, in that doing what is necessary to save Kate could harm Anna, but I'm not sold on the fact that she's a "bad" mother because of this. Is she a confused mother? Yes. Is she wrong? One could argue that. But I do believe that she believes she is doing the best job she can as a mother. She feels that she needs to be strong and forceful in order to save her weak and frail daughter. She is faced with a situation that no one would want to be in.

Enough of the "debate" for the moment, let's discuss the rest of the movie. The flick really shines whenever it focuses on the dying Kate. There is a wonderful performance here from Sofia Vassilieva, who I had never heard of before. She is actually top-notch in this flick -- definitely one of the best supporting performances I've seen in a film this year. There is a beautiful romance between Kate and Jesse, a fellow cancer patient. Their scenes were incredibly touching and really (for lack of a better word) perfect. These scenes were actually some of my favorite moments I've seen in a theater this year (they were that good). The tone was spot-on in this portion of the film that I wish the rest of the movie could've stepped up to the plate a little more.

Diaz is actually (shockingly) quite good. I've never really seen her in a meaty role and while there were certainly times I felt she couldn't handle the pathos needed to make her character really shine, I was moderately impressed (although that is because I wasn't expecting much). I was actually most disappointed in the overrated Abigail Breslin -- sorry, she's simply not a great actress -- and Alec Baldwin who, as Anna's lawyer, was simply a caricature of a "as-seen-on-tv" legal guy.

The movie's not perfect story-wise -- the father and son have seriously underdeveloped roles. There are a few scenes with the son running away from home that are never really explained nor were they necessary. And director Cassavetes employs many silly fade-to-blacks between scenes that literally made me laugh (at the beginning, these fades were happening seemingly every three minutes -- OVERKILL!!!).

Still, despite the faults, I thought it was quite a good little flick. I would absolutely recommend it, based solely on Sofia Vassilieva's performance and the fact that it does make you question what you would do as a parent placed in the situation that Kate's folks were in. I gotta be honest...I might've done what they did.

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs 3D (2009)

Featuring the voice talents of Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, and Simon Pegg
Written by ?? [I'd love to tell you who it was written by, but imdb has deemed them not important enough to be on the main page anymore. They used to be right where they belonged -- below/above the director on the main page. They've demoted writers to the "Full Cast and Crew" page, but the writers for this flick aren't even there as I type this?!?!]
Directed by Carlos Saldanha and Mike Thurmeier

I know I've seen at least one of the previous Ice Age movies, but I really couldn't tell you a thing about them. They're simple throwaway movies and hold no place in my mind. This flick will join them.

The movie opens oddly, not giving us any backstory at all. I feel like the movie started in the middle of something that I wasn't privy to (if that makes sense). Anyway, woolly mammoths Ellie (Latifah) and Manny (Romano) are expecting a baby. Sabretooth tiger Diego (Leary) realizes that he'll be pushed to the wayside in their roving clique, so he runs away. Meanwhile, sloth Sid discovers three T-Rex eggs and when they hatch he becomes their "mother" which makes Momma T-Rex none too happy. Momma T-Rex picks up her three babies along with Sid and runs into some underground world where dinosaurs still exist (see we're in the Ice Age, so I guess they'd all be extinct). Ellie, Manny, and a recently found Diego decide to band together and save Sid.

By far, the best part of the movie is Buck (Simon Pegg), a British-accented weasel who is some gung-ho, yet crazy, adventurer. Some of the sequences with Buck were quite inspired. Every scene without him lulled me to sleep -- I literally almost fell conked out multiple times during this one.

I should mention that Scrat, the little squirrel in constant search of acorns, is here as well, and the scenes with him are fine...they are just completely time fillers because they don't fit in with the rest of the movie in any way. As little individual 3-minute cartoons, these throwaway scenes with Scrat are fine. As part of the movie, they're a waste.

The RyMickey Rating: D+

Movie Review - Year One (2009)

Starring Jack Black, Michael Cera, and David Cross
Written by A Group of Monkeys (seemingly)
Directed by Harold Ramis

When it's possible your movie could be worse than Dance Flick (a name I hoped I would never have to utter again), your movie is the epitome of awful. I half-laughed once in this two-hour debacle during which Jack Black and Michael Cera essentially play themselves -- a fat, bumbling, obnoxious fool and a rambling, annoying, "cerebral-but-not-really" teenager, respectively.

Could be the worst movie of the year. Enough said.

The RyMickey Rating: F

Movie Review - Bride Wars (2009)

Starring Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, and Candice Bergen
Written by Greg DePaul and Casey Wilson
Directed by Gary Winick

I'm an unabashed Anne Hathaway fan. She's cute, seems smart, and is a talented actress (see Rachel Getting Married for proof...go on...watch it...). Even in her silliest and inconsequential of movies (Get Smart as an example), she shines -- Bride Wars really isn't an exception. It's unfortunate that the movie itself is so devoid of laughs.

Movies like these make me wonder why women are so petty. You ladies really gonna lose a friendship over the fact that both of your weddings were scheduled on the same day? One of you really won't switch? Hathaway and her cohort, Kate Hudson, actually prove to be fine actresses in this one, but there's not a single damn thing worth watching in this film. Co-stars are weakly written; the music montages are ridiculously stupid; there's nothing here beyond two adequate performances from Hathaway and Hudson. And that's certainly not enough to recommend this film to anyone.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Movie Review - My Bloody Valentine (2009)

**Available on DVD**
Starring Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, and Kerr Smith
Written by Todd Farmer and Zane Smith
Directed by Patrick Lussier

This movie actually got some good reviews from fan sites when it was released and, for the life of me, I can't figure out why. Watching it on dvd, I obviously "miss out" of the gimmicky 3D effects, but I'm fairly certain they wouldn't have helped this corny plot.

We've got a bad guy who is seemingly indestructible who is constantly popping up behind people in order to perfectly hack away at his victims with a huge pick axe (he's got near perfect aim, too...always being able to stab right into someone's eyes or mouth or cranium). Said vicitms are idiots, doing the typical horror movie idiotic cliché crap.

All the acting is poor and laughable and the plot is incredibly simple (that's not necessarily a bad thing, but there was really nothing going on here except a guy chasing around people). Overall, not the worst horror movie I've seen, but totally not worth your time.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Movie Review - The Uninvited (2009)

**Available on DVD**
Starring Emily Browning, Arielle Kebbel, David Strathairn, and Elizabeth Banks
Written by Craig Rosenberg and Doug Miro
Directed by Charles Guard and Thomas Guard

Despite above-par acting from lead Emily Browning and a delightfully B-movie-esque performance from Elizabeth Banks, The Uninvited can't rise out of the ranks of an "average" horror film. I feel like I've seen this movie before -- mentally unstable teenager believes that Dad's new girlfriend may have killed the teen's mother, but no one will believe her because everyone thinks the teen's a little crazy. Nothing really new here.

Admittedly, the twist ending was ruined for me, but even had I come to this flick without any knowledge of it, I still don't think I would feel any different. I will say, though, that the shot where the "reveal" happens was kind of nifty. The flick was adequate and worth a rental if the horror genre is your cup of tea. I will give the film props for not being overly bloody or overly crude/graphic/etc. It's, in fact, a very tame PG-13 horror flick. However, it may have been a little better had it veered a little more towards the R side, rather than the PG side.

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009)

Starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta, John Turturro, Luis Guzman, and James Gandolfini
Written by Brian Helgeland
Directed by Tony Scott

A remake of a 70s flick, this updated thriller stays surprisingly fresh, in large part due to a very strong performance from Denzel Washington.

Washington is Walter Garber who has a job similar to an air traffic controller, but for the New York City subway system. Unfortunately for him, a group of guys headed by John Travolta's character Ryder decide to hijack subway train Pelham 123 and hold its passengers hostage.

There's nothing new here. It's a typical hostage situation movie, but Washington really raises the bar and makes it interesting. His character has an intriguing backstory that comes into play that adds an additional bit of depth to an otherwise straightforward character. Travolta isn't bad either and I really don't care for him typically at all. In fact, I would say he could be in my Top Five Least Favorite Actors. I find him very disingenuous in both real life and onscreen. That wasn't the case here, though. I actually found him quite good and shockingly believable as a bad guy.

I must admit that I'm a sucker for movies that happen in "real time" and that was certainly a plus here. The tension stays high throughout because of this. I glanced at director Tony Scott's imdb page and I realized that I actually liked quite a bit of his films (Enemy of the State, Deja Vu). It's not like he's a great auteur, but I tend to like the way he films things despite the fact that he's a little too spastic and quick-cut-happy for his own good. This film was a little more subdued...no real shaky-camminess here.

My major issue with the film is that once the film leaves the confines of the subway car in the final 30 minutes, it falls apart a little. A huge part of the climax hinges on a ridiculous coincidence that kind of ticked me off and ruined the end.

That being said, there are certainly worse movies out there and this one was a perfectly acceptable, somewhat exciting flick.

The RyMickey Rating: B-

Movie Review - π (1998)

**Available on DVD**
Starring Sean Gullette and Mark Margolis
Written and Directed by Darren Aronofsky

This is essentially a low-budget, black-and-white film school project that is taken to the next level by the talent of its director -- Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler). I am fascinated by Aronofsky's directorial techniques -- camera angles, edits, use of music -- in all his films and this one is no exception.

That being said, it really is nothing more than a glorified film school project. The first 20 minutes are great, the last 20 minutes are great, and the middle 40 just fall flat, repeating much of what we've already seen in the first 20 minutes. Now, I understand there is a point to that -- the film revolves around a mathematician's downward spiral as he tried to unlock the mathematical secrets of the stock market. He starts to go crazy, the film starts to repeat his craziness...I get what's going on. I just was bored.

Still, despite the problem, it was a fascinating film to watch simply because my mind was involved the whole way through. I wasn't simply staring at the screen, I was mentally stimulated by the movie and that's always a plus.

And the second to last scene? What the fuck? is all I can say...

The RyMickey Rating: B-