Marry Me

 Marry Me (2022)

Starring Jennifer Lope, Owen Wilson, Maluma, John Bradley, Sarah Silverman, Chloe Coleman, and Michelle Buteau

Directed by Kat Coiro

Written by John Rogers, Tami Sagher, and Harper Dill

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C

Monster-in Law

 Monster-in-Law (2005)

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Jane Fonda, Michael Vartan, Elaine Stritch, and Wanda Sykes

Directed by Robert Luketic

Written by Anya Kochoff

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  D-

Hustlers

Hustlers (2019)

Starring Constance Wu, Jennifer Lopez, Julia Stiles, Keke Palmer, Lili Reinhart, Lizzo, Cardi B, and Mercedes Ruehl

Directed by Lorene Scafaria

Written by Lorene Scafaria

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: B-

Second Act

Second Act (2018)

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Leah Remini, Vanessa Hudgens, Treat Williams, Annaleigh Ashford, Charlyne Yi, Alan Aisenberg, Freddie Stroma, and Milo Ventimiglia

Directed by Peter Segal

Written by Justin Zackham and Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - Home

Home (2015)

Featuring the voice talents of Jim Parsons, Rihanna, Steve Martin, and Jennifer Lopez

Directed by Tim Johnson

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

While there's part of me that respects Home for being a two-character dialog-driven film for more than half of its running time, I unfortunately can't praise the film as it lacks drive, interesting characters, and a plot worthy of a feature film.  Animation-wise, it's basically typical Dreamworks -- which means it's a rung lower than Pixar and Disney films -- with its plastic-looking characters that do little to draw in the audience.

The alien race of the Boov are on the run across galaxies from the evil Gorg who is destroying every planet the Boov decide to inhabit.  The Boov happen upon Earth and, as they are wont to do on whatever planet upon which they land, the aliens zap up all the locals -- that'd be the humans in this case -- and place them all in one central location on the planet -- that'd be Australia in this case (and the fact that Australia began its "modern" existence as a penal colony did not escape me).  As the Boov take over the major cities of Earth, one Boov in particular named Oh (voiced by Jim Parsons) finds himself the kooky odd Boov out of his race which is typically very by-the-book and regimented.  With a zest for life, Oh inadvertently sends out a mass e-mail inviting the entire Boov race to a party at his new apartment.  Unfortunately, he also sent the invite to the evil Gorg which causes the villain to set his sights on Earth.  Shunned by his people, Oh goes into hiding where he meets a seventh grade human girl named Tip (Rihanna) who appears to be the only human not transported out of her town.  Missing her mother (voiced by Jennifer Lopez) Oh agrees to help Tip find where the Boov have placed all the humans as he also hopes to hide from all those looking to roast him for alerting the Gorg to their new location.

All that Boov and Gorg talk has me tired -- and Home unfortunately feels a little tired as well.  Its premise lacks originality as I feel like I've seen similarly themed stories done better in the past.  For being rather short, the flick feels repetitive, hitting the same emotional beats over and over again -- how many times do we have to witness Oh do something silly with a human item or misuse an English word?  Jim Parsons is okay, but Rihanna's deep, somewhat grizzled voice just doesn't fit the part for a seventh grader -- unless that seventh grader has spent a lot of time smoking cigarettes on the corner.  Jennifer Lopez does provide a quiet nurturing to her character and Steve Martin as the ruler of the Boov add a little bit of spark, but neither are major roles so any positives they add are somewhat muted.  Overall, Home just doesn't hit the mark and lacks the emotion that a flick like this needs.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The Boy Next Door

The Boy Next Door (2015)

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Guzman, Ian Nelson, John Corbett, and Kristin Chenoweth 

Directed by Rob Cohen

First off, before I even begin this review (which I'm sure you're all anxiously awaiting), it came as a surprise to me that after seven years of writing this blog, I've yet to review a film starring Jennifer Lopez.  She seems like such a ubiquitous personality that for her movie resume to be so thin in the  last half decade seems a shock.  Then again, after watching The Boy Next Door, maybe it shouldn't seem so astonishing.

Don't get me wrong.  It's not that Lopez is bad in this one.  In fact, she's probably the one positive the film has going for it.  Lopez is Claire Peterson, a high school English teacher and mom to teenager Kevin (Ian Nelson).  Much to the chagrin of her best friend Vicky (Kristin Chenoweth), Claire is constantly fighting the urge to get back together with her estranged husband Garrett (John Corbett) who, despite cheating on her a few years back, swears he's become a better man.  When much younger eighteen year-old Noah Sandborn (Ryan Guzman) moves in next door, Claire is immediately attracted to not only his physique, but the way he also interacts with her shy son.  One evening, Claire gives in (with admittedly a little forceful push from Noah) and the two consummate their relationship, but little does Claire know that Noah (who also happens to be a student at her school) has an obsessive and dangerous personality that doesn't take well to Claire's desire to have their fling be a one-time-only event.

Quite frankly, The Boy Next Door is a low budget tv movie that because of a "star" and male buttocks made its way to the big screen instead of the small screen.  There's nothing "good" about it.  Noah as a character is so poorly written as he turns from sweet and angelic to terrifying and demonic without any warning whatsoever except for the fact that the previews of the film told us he would.  The screenplay reeks of R.L. Stine Fear Street-level quality which, as a thirteen year-old I liked and aspired to be able to write, but as an adult, I recognize the inconsistencies in story and character development.  And the less said about the film's ridiculous denouement the better -- with his striped red and gray shirt and oddly lowered gravely voice amidst a fiery landscape, I thought Noah had turned into a reincarnation of Freddy Krueger.  I was actually willing to give this one a slight pass (into D+ territory) until the final scenes -- and then it just fell apart even more than it already had.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-