Movie Review - Chandni Chowk to China (2009)

Starring Akshay Kumar, Gordon Liu, Mithun Chakraborty, and Deepika Padukone
Written by Rajat Arora
Directed by Nikhil Advani

My second Bollywood movie also happens to feature Akshay Kumar, the star of my prior Bollywood outing, Kambakkht Ishq. Unfortunately, Kumar is the exact same nutty person here as he was in Kambakkht. Granted, I'm just judging his career on two roles (which is really no different than how I'd judge any actor, FYI...), but he's incredibly annoying (reminiscent of Jim Carrey early on in his career) and having to deal with his over-the-top antics and thoroughly moronic facial expressions for two-and-a-half hours can wear thin. His exaggerated and overblown persona worked in Kambakkht because the whole movie was overblown and it didn't seem the least bit out of place, but in this flick, the humor doesn't really match up with the surprisingly good (although ridiculous) story.

Part slapstick comedy, part old-school martial arts flick, part James Bond-y/spy thriller, Chandni Chowk to China is the tale of lowly food stand worker Sidhu (Kumar) from Chandni Chowk, India, who is mistaken for the second coming of Chinese war hero Liu Sheuyn. The folks in a tiny Chinese village are being overrun by the nasty villain, Hojo (Gordon Liu), and they need their former warrior to help save them. Desperate, they ship Sidhu to China to assist in their plight. Along the way, Sidhu meets the lovely Sakhi (played by the gorgeous Deepika Paduhone) who is also traveling to China as part of her job as the star of a commercial for a Dance Dance Revolution type machine. But, if I'm being honest, nothing really happens with their meeting. However, it sets up the fact that Sakhi has a twin sister, Suzie, who has been missing for years. And, here's the twist...the twin sister is working for the evil villain Hojo under the name Meow Meow! And, as if that wasn't enough, Hojo is the man who killed Sakhi and Suzie's father when they were mere infants. So now, in addition to saving the village, you know that Sidhu is going to need to save Sakhi's sister and avenge her father's death, too.

As ridiculous as it sounds, the plot was fun. And the actors, with the exception of Kumar keep the mugging to the camera at a minimum. Gordon Liu who has appeared in numerous Chinese martial arts flicks is actually pretty damn good as the villain -- nasty, but not overdone. Deepika Paduhone is also somewhat impressive. She gives both her roles defining characteristics beyond the simple fact that her hair is different for each of them. The unfortunate thing is that all the actors in the film don't mesh with the "star" Akshay Kumar. It's as if he's in a different movie altogether.

Apparently this is only the third Bollywood movie made and produced with the participation of a Hollywood studio. Shot on location in India and Shanghai, the film looks great -- rich and textured in terms of how it was shot (kudos to the director). And, if I'm being completely honest, the 150-minute run time didn't seem exorbitant. There were minimal musical interludes here -- one or two instances of characters actually "singing" and several more "montage music segments" -- and they certainly didn't detract from the movie.

I really just wish that Akshay Kumar wasn't in this. In the hands of a less spastic actor (and/or a director who desired a less spastic actor), along with the removal of the slapsticky aspects of the script, this film would've been quite good (as opposed to the so-bad-it's-good Kambakkht Ishq). Still, with the exception of the star, I actually quite liked the movie and recommend it to certain folks interested in exploring Bollywood cinema.

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - Kambakkht Ishq (2009)

Starring Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor, Aftab Shivdasani, Amrita Arora, Denise Richards, and Sylvester Stallone (!)
Written by Anvita Dutt Guptan, Ishita Moitra, and Sabbir Khan
Directed by Sabbir Khan

Now, this was my first Bollywood musical movie, so I have no way of comparing this to anything else, nor did have any sort of base level of expectations going into this one. In fact, going in to this, I knew almost next to nothing. The description on a website I looked at listed the flick as an action/adventure comedy/musical. And sure enough, it was all of them.

The story is incredibly simple, and, as is the norm in Bollywood flicks, it's drawn out to nearly 2 1/2 hours. Viraj is a stuntman who has made it big in Hollywood. His younger brother, Lucky, has just married Kamini, much to Viraj's chagrin. Also opposed to the wedding was Kamini's sister Simrita, an aspiring surgeon and part-time model/actress (only in the movies could this be a combination!). Simrita believes that men are only after one thing and one thing only -- sex -- and Viraj is somewhat turned on by this hardheaded woman. Simrita convinces her sister to withhold sex from her husband for three months to prove his love and the first half of the movie deals with Lucky's disappointment in this and Viraj's attempts to help his brother out. The second half of the movie focuses on the budding love/hate relationship between Viraj and Simrita. Will they or won't they fall in love? It's not hard to guess.

Honestly, I had a great time watching this movie. It's not any good, in the grand scheme of things, but it sure as hell doesn't take itself seriously...that's kind of difficult to do when five times throughout the film you break into huge song and dance numbers revealing characters' thoughts and desires. Sure, they were completely unnatural, but they were all well done and a blast to watch.

The movie looks good, too...you can tell that they spend money on these Bollywood productions. The scenes that took place in Venice, Italy, were actually kind of pretty to look at. Even the scenes that took place on the Universal Studios Hollywood lot with Viraj doing his stunts looked good, despite the fact that they looked fake (kind of an oxymoron there, but the fakeness didn't take away from the genuinely decent shots).

The problem here (and what will likely be the problem in any future Bollywood movies I see...which I plan to do) is that there is apparently no editor on these films. Seriously, this flick had no story or plot that couldn't have been wrapped up in 90 minutes...but I guess the excess is the point. In time, I may get tired of the ridiculousness, but at this stage in the game, I liked it.

And, I didn't even mention the most absurd part of the movie (SPOILERS AHEAD) -- the cameos by Sly Stallone and Denise Richards. Both play "pivotal" roles in the end scenes of the movie, with Sly himself literally saving the day at the end. It was a ridiculously bonkers, out-of-the-blue surprise that you couldn't help but laugh hysterically...but that was the point.

So, overall, is this a good movie? Nope, not in the slightest. But it absolutely falls into that Crank: High Voltage category -- the filmmakers knew they were making something completely off-the-wall and they went balls out doing it...and they succeeded in providing something entertaining for this reviewer.

NOTE: For anyone thinking of looking into seeing Bollywood flicks, this may be a good start. The film is incredibly "American" in terms of plot and it takes place, for the most part, in Hollywood. The dialogue is spoken in both English and Hindi (with subtitles), with characters jumping back and forth between the two languages. Admittedly, at first, this was a little odd, but you definitely get used to it in time.

The RyMickey Rating: B