Yes Day

 Yes Day (2021)

Starring Jennifer Garner, Édgar Ramírez, Jenna Ortega, Julian Lerner, Everly Carganilla, and Nat Faxon

Directed by Miguel Arteta

Written by Justin Malen

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C+

Love, Simon

Love, Simon (2018)

Starring Nick Robinson, Katherine Langford, Alexandra Shipp, Josh Duhamel, Logan Miller, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Tony Hale, Natasha Rothwell, Miles Heizer, and Jennifer Garner

Directed by Greg Berlanti

Written by Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Peppermint

Peppermint (2018)

Starring Jennifer Garner, John Gallagher Jr., John Ortiz, Annie Ilonzeh, and Juan Pablo Raba

Directed by Pierre Morel

Written by Chad St. John

Summary (in 500 words or less):  When her husband and daughter are killed in a violent gang-related event, Riley North (Jennifer Garner) takes matters into her own hands after a corrupt justice system lets her family's murderers off the hook for their horrific crime.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - Danny Collins

Danny Collins (2015)

Starring Al Pacino, Annette Bening, Jennifer Garner, Bobby Cannavale, and Christopher Plummer

Directed by Dan Fogelman
***This movie is currently streaming on Amazon Prime***

I hold absolutely no affinity towards Al Pacino, so I wasn't exactly jumping to see Danny Collins when it was released last spring.  Much to my surprise, this is one of those hidden gems that I love to uncover while making my way through a year's films.  Pacino is the title character, an aging rock star who still is living the wild lifestyle well into his golden years.  When his manager Frank (Christopher Plummer) surprises Danny with a personal letter from John Lennon that had been missing for decades, Danny suddenly has a change of heart thanks to Lennon's words.  He decides to clean himself up, stop his lucrative touring, and head to New Jersey to meet his estranged adult son Tom (Bobby Cannavale) for the first time.  Tom isn't exactly jumping at the chance to help Danny find peace with himself seeing as how he'd never met the man, but with the urging of his wife (Jennifer Garner) Tom begins to see that Danny may be a changed man.

Cliché?  You bet.  But writer-director Dan Fogelman (who also wrote the stellar Crazy Stupid Love and Tangled) has crafted such witty wordplay spouted by surprisingly well-rounded and gosh-darn likable characters that you can't help but have a smile on your face as you watch this.  Pacino is hugely entertaining bringing a cocky suaveness to Danny, but never taking him over the edge into prickishness.  Bobby Cannavale brings a surprising amount of heart to the film as his story gradually is revealed to be a bit more layered than initially believed.  Pacino and Cannavale share the film's final scene and it's so brilliantly and simplistically written by Fogelman that it will surely end up on my Top Scenes of the Year list.

Perhaps the best part of Danny Collins, though, is the witty repartee that occurs between Danny and the manager of the Hilton Hotel he's staying in while in New Jersey.  As Mary Sinclair, Annette Bening is irresistibly charming, yet resolute when standing her ground against Danny who has a slightly egotistical attitude in his air when he initially arrives.  As Mary and Danny banter back and forth, the chemistry between Pacino and Bening is palpable and extremely entertaining to watch.  While we viewers certainly have an idea of where this character duo may be heading, Fogelman doesn't necessarily take us down the expected path which was a pleasure to discover.  The cast is a huge key to the success of Danny Collins who take what may be a typical dramedy (with some admittedly clever dialog) and transform it into something more magical than could be expected.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014)

Starring Steve Carell, Jennifer Garner, Ed Oxenbould, Dylan Minnette, Kerris Dorsey, Bella Thorne, Jennifer Coolidge, Donald Glover, and Megan Mullally  

Directed by Miguel Arteta

I'll just come right out and say it despite the prospect of being ridiculed -- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is a truly enjoyable kid flick that does an excellent job of creating an atmosphere that is amusing to both adults and children alike reminiscent of Disney pics of yore like Freaky Friday and The Parent Trap.  It may not be a popular opinion, but I found myself thoroughly entertained for seventy-five minutes as young Alexander Cooper (Ed Oxenbould) and his family go through one of the worst days possible as havoc wreaks quite a spell on everyone.

Alexander is just about to turn twelve and he's discovered that a more popular kid at school has decided to throw his birthday party on the same night as his.  With the prospect of no one coming and having just had a school day filled with some huge blunders, Alexander wants to cancel his party, but his parents Ben and Kelly (Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner) won't allow it.  With his brother Anthony (Dylan Minette) prepping for his prom and his sister Emily (Kerris Dorsey) landing the lead in the school musical, at 12:01am on the night of his birthday, Alexander blows out the candle on a bowl of ice cream wishing that his family could experience how un-fun is life is for just one day.  In the grand tradition of wishes coming true in movies, when the Cooper family wakes up the next morning, chaos breaks out -- and the humor surprisingly flies all around.

Admittedly, there's a need for a bit of a suspension of disbelief here -- too many things are scheduled on this particular day for even the most reliable family to accomplish -- but if you're willing to make this acceptance, you're in for a treat.  Rather surprisingly -- and perhaps the reason for the film's success -- Alexander focuses not only on its title character, but gives equal opportunity to each member of the Cooper family to be fleshed out in terms of their bad days and all story lines work quite well.  Perhaps because of the notion that the parents are almost the focus here, adults are welcomed into the film in a way that isn't usually expected in movies aimed at a younger demographic.

Carell and Garner do a really nice job with both their slapstick and verbal comedy moments and all of the Cooper siblings also pleasantly create humor in their scenes.  The kudos really belong to screenwriter Rob Lieber in his debut for crafting a film that not only appeals to the kiddos, but also to the kid in all of us by never talking down to the younger audience.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Draft Day

Draft Day (2014)

Starring Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner, Denis Leary, Frank Langella, Chadwick Boseman, Josh Pence, Sean Combs, and Ellen Burstyn
Directed by Ivan Reitman

I've never been a football guy and I likely never will be.  I've never gotten excited over who the Philadelphia Eagles choose in the annual NFL draft so the concept of a film revolving around this day didn't exactly scream fascinating to me.  The fact that Draft Day kept my interest is a feat unto itself and the notion that I found it somewhat enjoyable is nothing but surprising to me.

Kevin Costner is quite captivating as Sonny Weaver, the general manager for the floundering Cleveland Browns, who wakes up on draft day to his girlfriend and co-worker Ali (Jennifer Garner) telling him that she's pregnant.  As if draft day wasn't strenuous enough, now he's got this whopper in his back pocket all day (and, really, let's be honest, if Ali is the football fiend that her high-paying job at the Browns says she is, she should have known better than to reveal this big news on draft day).  Nevertheless, the claws are out for Sonny from the fans, the potential draftees, the coaches and players currently employed by the Browns, and the owner of the team (Frank Langella).  One wrong move and Sonny will seemingly be out of a job.

Draft Day works best when it places Sonny in moments where football decisions are front and center.  (No one is more surprised than me that I just wrote that sentence.)  Clouding his day with family problems -- the new fatherhood, his mother (Ellen Burstyn) attempting to make him feel guilty for forgetting about his dead father (and former Browns coach whom Sonny himself fired when the team failed) -- just bog the film down.  I guess part of me understand why these issues are present in an attempt to appeal to the masses, but the inner machinations of an NFL draft day are more than interesting enough.  Livelihoods are truly on the line and Draft Day does a pretty darn good job of making that evident.

The RyMickey Rating:  B-

Movie Review - Men, Women & Children

Men, Women & Children (2014)

Starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Garner, Rosemarie Dewitt, Judy Greer, Dean Norris, Kaitlyn Dever, Ansel Elgort, Timothée Chalamet, Olivia Crocicchia, Elena Kampouris, Dennis Haysbert, J.K. Simmons, and Emma Thompson

Directed by Jason Reitman

Are you aware that the internet can pose a dangerous threat to our youth?

Are you aware that the pressures of being a teen nowadays are amplified exponentially by the power of social media and texting?

Are you aware that some people get so lost in the internet worlds of role-playing games and pornography that they lose touch with their actual reality?

If you've been living under a rock for the past ten years, then writer-director Jason Reitman's Men, Women & Children is the movie for you!  However, if you're anything like me and pretty much everyone else, I'm sure that none of the above questions are altogether surprising.  Reitman seemingly thinks that these notions are somewhat new as he tries to present all of them to riveting, shocking, and dramatic effect.  Unfortunately, we've seen this story before in both movies and television -- and we've seen it done much better.

This is one of those movies where you simply try to guess at the beginning which teenager is going to commit suicide and which one is going to get pregnant because you know it's going to happen -- and, sure enough, Reitman doesn't do anything to reinvent the wheel because halfway through the flick someone gets knocked up and three-quarters of the way through we witness the suicide.  Neither of which surprise us in the slightest as we could see them telegraphed from the film's opening five minutes.  Reitman hasn't crafted characters here, he's simply created stereotypical avatars of what he must think sex-crazed teens (Olivia Crocicchia, Timothée Chalamet) or loner teens (Kaitlyn Dever) or jock teens (Ansel Elgort) or overprotective parents (Jennifer Garner) or cool parents (Judy Greer) or emotionally detached spouses (Adam Sandler, Rosemarie Dewitt) are really like.  He then tosses in a tongue-in-cheek British narrator (Emma Thompson) to spout pithy remarks about the goings-on which confused the heck out of me as I couldn't tell whether Reitman was trying to craft something serious or whether this whole film was just an awful attempt at satire.

Across the board, some typically solid actors are left wallowing.  Kaitlyn Dever (so good in Short Term 12) and Ansel Elgort (quite a charming surprise in The Fault in Our Stars) fare the best, but maybe it's simply because their roles felt the least cookie cutter.  Also, would it be too hard for Judy Greer to land some more gigs?  She makes the best of her part as a mom who posts risqué pictures of her daughter on the internet by imbuing a bit of heart and personality into the film -- something that Men, Women & Children is missing in spades.

The RyMickey Rating:  D+

Movie Review - Dallas Buyers Club

Dallas Buyers Club (2013)

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner, Denis O'Hare, Dallas Roberts, and Steve Zahn

Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée

Ron Woodruff is an electrician by day and a bull-riding rodeo wrangler by night.  He's a ladies' man, a guy's guy, and is filled with stereotypical Texas bravado.  So on a fateful day in 1986 when Ron is told by a doctor that he's contracted the HIV virus, he can't even fathom how that would be possible.  To him and all his buddies, HIV and AIDS were exclusively found in the homosexual community and Ron angrily refuses to believe his doctor's diagnosis.  However, after being given a thirty day life expectancy, Ron succumbs to the diagnosis, but starts researching his options on how to survive with HIV.  While the local hospital is experimenting with the FDA-approved drug AZT, Ron travels to Mexico to get a drug cocktail of sorts and the results are fantastic.  Seeing how poorly AZT is working within the gay community of Texas, Ron sets up his own medical distribution center of sorts -- the Dallas Buyers Club -- while constantly battling the government and the medical professionals since his treatments are faring better than what the FDA is providing.

And therein is the true story behind Dallas Buyers Club.  Unfortunately, the rather straightforward manner in which I presented the summary above without a lot pep, pizzazz, or vigor, is the way Ron Woodruff's story is presented to us as well in the film.  While the movie isn't a chore to sit through or boring per se, there's no momentum driving the film along.  The arc of Woodruff -- tough guy who hates homosexuals morphing into less of a tough guy who begins to feel compassion for the gay community -- isn't surprising in the slightest and leads to a film that doesn't really go anywhere since we know where it's going right from the outset.

Fortunately, the film is buoyed by a very strong performance from Matthew McConaughey who famously lost a lot of weight for his role as Woodruff.  McConaughey couples his smooth Southern drawl with an obviously chauvinistic demeanor to give us an initial impression of Woodruff that sets him up as a staunchly homophobic guy.  (I don't mean to imply that a Southern drawl equates with a homophobic mindset -- it's just the way McConaughey carries himself that gives us that idea of the character.)  Rather nicely, the film slowly allows Woodruff to come to the realization that his predisposed ideas about the gay community in Texas were perhaps wrongly skewed and I enjoyed McConaughey's quiet transformation he has Woodruff undergo as the film progresses.

Much awards buzz for the film has been centered around the performance of Jared Leto as Rayon, a transgender woman whom Woodruff meets in the hospital.  Wryly sarcastic and unafraid to fight back against Woodruff's homophobic jabs, Leto's Rayon provides some of the humor this heavy story needs.  However, considering that Rayon herself is fighting for her life having also contracted the AIDS virus, I was expecting to be moved by her story and I never was.  It doesn't help that the character of Rayon doesn't have a "moment" to me -- something that is seemingly important if you want to make it far in the awards race.  This is why it's rather surprising to me that Leto seems to be the early frontrunner in awards prognostications.  Simply dressing up as a woman isn't enough to impress and Leto's character wasn't given enough gravitas to warrant the buzz in my opinion.

The film has a nice, though underwritten, performance from Jennifer Garner as a doctor sympathetic to Woodruff's needs but unable to assist as she's tied to the FDA's regulations.  Denis O'Hare also is quite good as the head doctor at the Texas hospital who's seemingly in the pocket of the FDA providing a nice counterpoint to Garner's character.

Still, overall, Dallas Buyers Club doesn't have the emotional arcs I wanted in a film like this.  The film doesn't drive its story forward in such a way that felt exciting or impacting.  Woodruff's story -- if this film tells the truth (and I have no reason to believe it doesn't) -- is compelling and interesting, but it may have been better served as a documentary.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - The Odd Life of Timothy Green

The Odd Life of Timothy Green (2012)

Starring Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgarton, CJ Adams, Rosemarie DeWitt, David Morse, Dianne Wiest, Ron Livingston, and Common 

Directed by Peter Hedges

I am sometimes a sucker for sentimentality.  Movies that others may find too sweet or kind I can often find myself enjoying.  But I will admit that films that carry this overly nice sentiment are tricky and can easily veer off onto mind-numbingly mushy and saccharine paths that can't ever be corrected...and The Odd Life of Timothy Green takes a boatload of those unfortunate roads, all of which lead to dead ends.

When married couple Cindy and Jim Green (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgarton) are told that they have exhausted all medical methods to conceive, they find themselves deeply saddened by the news.  To try and get themselves out of their funk, they decide to allow themselves one final evening where they imagine what their child would've been like, place these "memories" in a box, and bury them in their garden.  Magically, in the middle of the night, a freak thunderstorm causes a lightning strike in their yard and as the couple wakes up, they discover that a ten year-old boy is in their home.  After much doubt, Cindy and Jim realize that this boy (whom they name Timothy) is actually a culmination of all their dreams of who their child would have been.  Despite the fact that Timothy (CJ Adams) has leaves growing out of his ankles, he's seemingly normal and helps the Greens become the family they've long desired to be.

Of course, since Timothy appeared magically, those leaves on his ankles must mean something -- and they certainly do.  As he helps people throughout the town of Stanleyville, his leaves begin to fall off.  When all his leaves are gone...well, let's just say the Greens will find themselves in a sad state once again.

Unfortunately, nothing works in this movie at all.  The performances from Garner, Edgarton, and Adams never find the right balance with each other and with the film overall.  While I didn't find myself wishing ill will on the couple, I never really found myself rooting for them either.  The townsfolk are all caricatures without a single unique vision for a character.  There's an awful subplot involving a girl with whom Timothy falls in love that I found embarrassingly bland and completely superfluous to the point of annoying.

I realize as I'm typing this that I'm not quite accurately describing my complete dislike for the film.  The Odd Life of Timothy Green is a movie that attempts to be sugary sweet and perhaps even strives to be reminiscent of a Jimmy Stewart Americana movie of the 1940s, but it really just fails miserably.  There's simply nothing to recommend about this movie.  Nothing at all.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-

Movie Review - Butter

Butter (2012)

Starring Jennifer Garner, Ty Burrell, Olivia Wilde, Alicia Silverstone, Rob Corddry, Yara Shahidi, and Hugh Jackman

Directed by Jim Field Smith

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

For some reason or another, Butter got trashed by the critics upon its very limited release earlier this year.  While it's a skewering of sorts of Midwestern conservatives, it's only a mild roasting and from this conservative's perspective, there are times when we deserve some slight jabs aimed our way.  I think maybe some felt Butter didn't go far enough, but I thought it was a surprisingly amusing comedy with some decent performances and a pleasant enough script that never overstays its welcome at any point.

In Iowa, butter carving is a huge pastime, taking a coveted prime spot at the State Fair.  For the past fifteen years, Bob Pickler (Ty Burrell) has been the champ, creating such memorable carvings as the holocaust-themed Schindler's List sculpture in 1995 or this past year's epic The Last Supper.  However, the governing board of the butter carving contest has told Bob that the time has come for him to relinquish his crown and allow someone else to have an opportunity to succeed.  While Bob agrees, his wife Laura (Jennifer Garner) is disgusted with the notion, afraid that she is going to lose the high profile awareness that comes with her gig as the wife of the best butter carver in Iowa.  Laura sets out at becoming an expert carver herself and all would seem to be going according to her plan until ten year-old Destiny (Yara Shahidi) decides to enter the competition.  A young African-American girl living with her new foster parents (Alicia Silverstone and Rob Corddry), Destiny discovers that she is fantastically adept at carving the yellow dairy product and sets up quite a showdown between herself and Laura.

There are some nice performances peppered throughout.  Jennifer Garner was over-the-top, but the role required that level of insanity to a certain degree, and I think she has proven with this and a few other roles that she's a nice comedienne.  Ty Burrell is actually nicely subdued and I found it a welcome change of pace for the sometimes frantic (though very funny) character he plays on Modern Family.  Yara Shahidi was great despite the fact that the screenwriter wanted to make her "wiser beyond her years."  Oftentimes that can prove excruciatingly annoying, but Shahidi was able to reel it in a bit and at least act like a kid.

Surprisingly, the best role in the whole flick comes from Rob Corddry and no one is more shocked than me to be saying that.  Corddry plays Destiny's foster dad Ethan and there's something incredibly natural when he's onscreen with young Shahidi.  His character never talks down to this kid who's been shipped from foster home to foster home because he knows she's been through a lot in her short life.  He recognizes that she's young, but he treats her with respect and kindness.  Considering other things I've seen Corddry in, I was shocked that he had this simple, down-to-earth, "dad" character in him...so big kudos to him.

Butter isn't some fantastic film, but I had a heckuva good time with it.  Granted, there are some faults -- Hugh Jackman pops in more than halfway through in a role he likely did as a favor for someone and Olivia Wilde plays an Asian stripper who, while quite funny, felt a tiny bit out of place -- but overall, this is well worth the ninety minutes it'll take you to watch it via Netflix's streaming.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Arthur

Arthur (2011)

Starring Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Geraldine James, and Jennifer Garner

Directed by Jason Winer

Having never seen the original somewhat beloved and Oscar-winning 1981 Arthur with Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli, I came into this with no preconceived notions.  To be honest, the only thing I really associated with the film was the cheesefest of a song by one of my father's favorites shlockmeister songwriters Christopher Cross.  I did know (as the previews for this 2011 re-telling made clear) that the film focuses on the titular character, Arthur, a booze-swilling rich guy who, as the aforementioned song says, "does as he pleases...but deep in his heart he's just a boy...showing himself a really good time laughing about the way they want him to be."

And, sure enough, that premise is pretty much spot on in the remake.  Arthur (Russell Brand) is a rich man-child who proves to be quite a handful for his mother Vivienne (Geraldine James) who, while running the billion dollar Bach Corporation, finds her son's crazy antics across New York City to be quite detrimental to her company and its investors.  In order to curb his shenanigans, she presents her son with an ultimatum -- either marry the up-and-coming businesswoman Susan (Jennifer Garner) who can then be next in line to run the company or be completely cut off from mommy's pocketbook.  Afraid to give up his lavish and outrageous lifestyle, Arthur agrees to the plan, but soon finds himself falling in love with Naomi (Greta Gerwig), a "normal girl" whom he meets on the streets while gallivanting one day.  The quasi-love triangle puts Arthur in quite a predicament.

All of the above is a perfectly acceptable storyline.  As a matter of fact, I thought the first hour of Arthur flew by, provided me with enough guffaws, and proved to be pleasant enough thanks to a surprisingly charming performance from Russell Brand.  However, the second hour delves into trying to get Arthur to "change" from a drunken oaf to a regular Joe Schmo.  And the problem is I didn't give a damn about Arthur's reform.  This guy's much more fun as a lewd drunk than he is as a serious guy.  Apparently the original recognized this to a certain degree as they left the awkward Alcoholics Anonymous bit, but this remake just falters when it forces Brand to try and act sane.

It's a shame, really, because I did find myself somewhat admiring Brand's performance here.  He manages to be both debonair and repulsive at the same time and that's not exactly an easy task.  Similarly, although Jennifer Garner and Greta Gerwig don't have much to work with as stereotypical opposite ends of the dating spectrum, they do well with what they're given.  And Helen Mirren as Arthur's nanny, even with her hair up in bun and clad in muted grays, is still a pretty darn attractive 66-year old lady.  And all of those performances make it rather disappointing that the film is fundamentally flawed in its attempt to change the attitude and mindset of the title character.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - Valentine's Day (2010)

Valentine's Day (2010)

Starring Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, George Lopez, Shirley Maclaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts, Taylor Swift

Directed by Garry Marshall 

It's not as if ensemble movies about love can't work.  One of my favorite movies of all time is Love, Actually, and that flick is all about an ensemble's quest for love.  However, with last year's He's Just Not That Into You and this year's Valentine's Day, the ensemble romantic comedy appears to be dead in the water.  While this 2010 flick fares a little better than its 2009 counterpart, one would think that with all the star power on display here, someone could craft a decent script.

I'm not even going to go into a summary here because (as is evidenced by the incredibly long "starring" list up above) there's just too many tangential stories to discuss.  And therein lies the problem.  Too many people with too many unnecessary tales.  Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner's high school romance -- I'd nix 'em since we've already got one youthful tale starring the charming Emma Roberts, but they're appealing to the youth.  Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper's meeting on a plane -- totally pointless, but Roberts is a huge star and Cooper's star wattage is on the rise.  Shirley Maclaine and Hector Elizondo's out-of-left-field reveal of a "bombshell secret" -- who gives a damn -- oh, that's right, we need to appeal to the grandparents.

That's the problem.  The movie just wants to hit every demographic and it fails because of that.   Any positive vibes that come from actors like Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Topher Grace, Julia Roberts and her niece Emma, and (shockingly) Ashton Kutcher and George Lopez just get washed away by a horrible script.  Not that I'm necessarily one to criticize on this front, but screenwriters need to learn to edit.

And the awful script is shot so incredibly poorly by director Garry Marshall that I laughed out loud because of some of his choices.  Hey, let's put some nuns in that scene.  Throw a sign-language interpreter in there.  Let's have a girl with cerebral palsy point and yell at Ashton Kutcher because he doesn't have shoes on.  Yes, I realize that last sentence might seem callous, but these "attempts at realism" just come across as preposterous.  It honestly seemed like he had family members that he wanted to put into the movie somehow and he was going to do whatever it took to make it happen.

If you want a great romantic ensemble movie, just do yourself a favor and go with Love, Actually.  Skip this one.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The Invention of Lying (2009)

Starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Rob Lowe, and Tina Fey
Directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson

I loved this movie.

That would be a lie.

In fact, I haven't been this frustrated with a movie in a bit (and I've seen some lousy ones lately). Unfortunately, I actually watched this one with paying patrons, so yelling at the screen was not an option.

Let me ask you this: If I am thinking something in my head -- a true, valid thought -- do I have to verbalize said thought in order for it to be true? Let's say that it's a sunny day. Must I say "It's a sunny day" in order for the notion of it being a sunny day to be true?

For the first twenty minutes or so of this movie, everyone says every single thing that's on their mind because, for some unknown reason, you must say what's on your mind in order for it to be true...as my brother said after the fact, it's as if everyone had verbal diarrhea. We're invited into this alternate reality in this movie in which lying hasn't been invented and everyone has to speak the truth...of course, you only spout what's on your mind when it serves a comedic purpose. Otherwise, you keep your mouth shut. And in addition to lying not being invented, couth and decorum haven't either [I may think this is a shittily written blog post, but I may not say it so as not to hurt someone's feelings...doesn't make it not true...NOTE: this is a shittily written blog post]. As the movie progresses, this notion of saying every single thing begins to fade away...mainly because the comedy portion of the movie is thrown out the window and we need to focus on both the romance between Mark (Ricky Gervais) and Anna (Jennifer Garner) and the denouncing of religion (which, admittedly, was the only intriguing part story-wise of the film). So, conveniently, there's no need to spout everything on your mind at this point. When Mark discovers that he can lie, he uses it to his advantage, both to attempt to get the girl and to eventually become a Jesus/Moses-type prophet who manages to convert the entire world onto his newfound notion of "religion." [NOTE: I realize I just said the same thing over and over again above, but I'm too lazy to go back and change it all.]

There's maybe an interesting premise here (although I'm not even sure of that), but it's all wasted. There's no comedy here. Gervais is a funny guy (watch the British version of The Office for proof), but he didn't even get a chuckle out of me here. Garner is okay, but nothing special. Side roles for Jonah Hill, Tina Fey, Louis C.K., and Jason Bateman are all wasted.

Another thing -- if everything everyone knew was truth and they had no reason to believe otherwise, there would be no debate about anything. However, we overhear a radio talk show where a debate is being held about Mark's personality...why would there be a debate as you would believe what you've heard because you know nothing else? There were a few other flaws, but I am trying to forget all aspects of this movie at this point because it's just not worth taking up brain space.

The RyMickey Rating: D-

Movie Review - Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, and Michael Douglas

Written by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore

Directed by Mark Walters

I am certainly not opposed to a good romantic comedy. Love, Actually and Sleepless in Seattle are two favorite films of mine. Both those films have characters that you can latch onto and root for in their quest for love.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past has no such character. McConaughey's sleazebag lothario, Connor Mead, has had his share (and many, many other men's shares) of women. He loves 'em for a night, then leaves 'em. He's only played the wooing game with Jenny (Garner), a childhood pal whom he's grown up with and always kind of "crushed on." Connor and Jenny meet again at Connor's brother's wedding and the sexual tension between the two resurfaces. Unfortunately for Jenny, it appears that Connor hasn't changed his ways.

At the wedding rehearsal dinner, Connor gets visited by his equally sleazy Uncle Wayne...the only problem is that Uncle Wayne (Douglas) is dead. Connor's uncle tells him that he will be visited by three ghosts who will show him how to be a better man (a la Dickens' A Christmas Carol).

Admittedly, I laughed out loud a few times. But there was very little reason shown at all for Jenny to have fallen for this scumbag...so her desire to get back together with Connor seemed implausible (granted, she didn't really desire to get back together with him, but she definitely still had feelings for him which boggled my mind). I can't get past the premise that any woman would fall head over heels for this guy. He's a dick. Do women really want to be treated like garbage -- tossed out after one use? (Maybe I'm missing the point of the dating game, if that's the case...)

The movie is helped by decent performances, although no one is better than average. Garner is fine as essentially the straight man of the piece (she really has very little to do comedically). Douglas is over-the-top as Connor's mentor-ish uncle, but he played the role for all it was worth. There are decent supporting turns from Breckin Meyer and Lacey Chabert as the wedding couple (although Chabert was forced to play the stereotypical Bridezilla). McConaughy was fine, but I really felt like he was playing himself. Nothing new brought to the table.

The RyMickey Rating: D+