Mission: Impossible - Fallout

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

Starring Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Sean Harris, Angela Bassett, Michelle Monaghan, Vanessa Kirby, Wes Bentley, and Alec Baldwin

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

Written by Christopher McQuarrie

Summary (in 500 words or less):  When his team's mission fails, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his crew (Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg) are forced to be shadowed by CIA agent August Walker (Henry Cavill) at the behest of CIA director Erica Sloane (Angela Bassett).  At odds, Hunt and Walker attempt to track down missing plutonium before it falls into the hands of a terrorist group known as the "Apostles" who want to create several nuclear weapons and cause massive damage across the globe. 

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

The Mummy

The Mummy (2017)

Starring Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson, and Russell Crowe

Directed by Alex Kurtzman

Written by David Koepp, Christopher McQuarrie, and Dylan Kussman

Summary (in 500 words or less):  When Army sergeant Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) unwittingly unearths the tomb of an ancient banished Egyptian princess, a great evil is released wreaking havoc on London after the tomb is shipped there to be examined.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C-

Movie Review - Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

-- Mission: Impossible Week --
Please note that all Mission: Impossible Week film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015)

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, and Alec Baldwin

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

As we come to the end of our Mission: Impossible week, I've come to the determination that the Tom Cruise-led series is a solid entry into the American cinematic action pantheon.  Does that mean that the series is full of overly amazing movies?  No, but what is intriguing (and I'm spoiling my rating for this newest installment with this sentence) is that with the exception of the second film (which, as you'll recall I found absolutely abysmal), all of the films in the M:I series rank in the "B" range.  I'm not sure there are many other film franchises that have gone on for so long that manage to maintain that consistent quality throughout.

In Rogue Nation, Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and his IMF team have uncovered a seedy agency known as The Syndicate that attempts to take down world leaders and governments by creating situations that look like accidents yet cause a great amount of havoc.  Just as IMF head William Brandt (Jeremy Renner) attempts to fund Hunt on a mission to take down the group, he is told by CIA director Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin) that due to the numerous close calls that IMF missions have come under as of late (meaning the numerous close calls of the last two films), the US government has decided to defund the organization.  Not only that, but the CIA is under strict orders to now take down Hunt who refuses to return to the US, hellbent on finding the head of The Syndicate on his own if necessary.

Perhaps most interesting about Rogue Nation is that it's the least action-driven film since the first installment in the M:I series.  That isn't to say that there aren't some BIG moments filled with action, it's just that the film finds itself a little more focused on "talking" and duplicitous manipulation than big budget action sequences.  It's actually a bit of a relief and it works well for the film in an attempt to be a little different than its predecessors.

Part of the reason for the talkiness is due to the villain of the piece -- Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), head of the Syndicate and a Steve Jobs-ish lookalike in his turtleneck and glasses.  Lane is evil, no doubt, but his ability to keep his emotions in check and his temper under control makes him even scarier when he's got a gun to your head because you'll never expect him to shoot...and he will.  Lane is matched by Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), an undercover British MI-6 agent who may or may not have disavowed her homeland for Lane.  Surprisingly, the film does a very good job at keeping the audience guessing as to whether Faust is good or evil and this creates a nice amount of tension throughout the film as Lane matches wits with Hunt.

Tom Cruise has been the one through-line in the Mission: Impossible series of films and he's certainly captivating as the big screen action star.  This film perhaps gives him the least amount to do -- not in terms of stunts, but in terms of an emotional arc.  Rather than focus on aspects of his personal life, Rogue Nation places its emphasis squarely on taking down The Syndicate and I must say that I missed seeing Hunt's character grow...because he doesn't do any of that here.  Additionally, while I liked Jeremy Renner's newly introduced character in the last film, he's rather squandered here spending most of the film essentially sitting in a control room.  Seeing as how he is receiving second billing in the film, I expected a bit more from his character and didn't really get it.

Still, Rogue Nation is a solid entry into the M:I franchise -- I'd rate it second of the five.  [Ghost Protocol takes the top spot, M:I III takes third place, the original M:I fourth place, and M:I II an incredibly distant fifth place.]  Overall, the franchise is a winner in my book.  Should they make more, I'd definitely be along for the ride.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

-- Mission: Impossible Week --
Please note that all Mission: Impossible Week film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton, Michael Nyqvist, Vladimir Mashkov, Josh Holloway, Anil Kapoor, and Léa Seydoux

Directed by Brad Bird

***The review below was originally published on May 27, 2011.  Reading it over, my feelings are pretty much the same now as they were then.  Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol is a really solid film and the best film in the Mission: Impossible series.  By far the funniest flick of the bunch (I laughed out loud when the machine that makes the famous Mission: Impossible face masks broke down), Ghost Protocol is also filled with great action sequences -- some of which should be noted for their surprising lack of weaponry and combat, but instead for their ability to create tense moments from something as simple as a desert dust storm.  Enjoy my original review below.***

Although Mission: Impossible II was one of my least favorite movies the year it came out, I don't utterly detest the Mission: Impossible series of films.  Maybe it's just the catchy theme music -- which really is one of the best tv theme songs ever created -- but it's probably more that I like the gadgety spy vibe that runs throughout.  I had heard really good things about animation director Brad Bird's first foray into live action filming.  Fortunately, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol did not disappoint and is probably the best action flick to come out of 2011.

Part of the reason for its success is that this Mission: Impossible has an odd joyfulness to it that I don't remember at all in previous incarnations in this series.  There's a humor here that I wasn't expecting and it added a breath of fresh air to the typical explosions and chase scenes that are part and parcel of a film of this ilk.  Certainly much of the chuckles come thanks to Simon Pegg who is the gadget guru Benji, part of the special team headed by Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt, who after being rescued from a Russian prison finds himself on a mission (impossible) to hunt down a Swedish nuclear weapon expert (Michael Nyqvist) deadset on starting a world war.  Aided by Jane Carter (a very solid [and sexy] Paula Patton), Ethan and his team travel from Moscow to Dubai to India tracking down the baddie.

It also helps matters that the story is very straightforward -- read: easy to comprehend.  Sometimes spy films like this tend to throw more info at you than you really need -- red herrings here, ridiculously convoluted background information there.  MI4 doesn't do that at all and I don't mean this as an insult to it.  Don't think that things are overly simplified -- it's just that Brad Bird and his screenwriters have pared things down to be exactly what is needed to make this story fly by.  Bird also crafts his action sequences without the superfluous quick edits and nonstop explosions that are so prevalent in movies today.  There are some genuinely exciting moments here that rely on tension rather than rapid movement to succeed and that's often a rarity nowadays.

Unfortunately, I think the film falters a tiny bit in two areas.  One, Jeremy Renner's character of a government official who is forced to become part of Ethan's team seemed to simply be there to attempt to craft future movies around him.  He isn't really given a lot to do and although he's fine in the role, this is the one point in the movie that probably could've been fleshed out a bit more.  Secondly, the final act of the movie seems almost unnecessary.  When the team moves to India, I couldn't help but think things could've ended in Dubai to much greater effect -- not all movies need to be two hours and ten minutes long.  The final action sequence (which was genuinely tense and exciting) could so easily have taken place in Dubai that the move to India only screamed "Look at our budget!" to me.

Still, those are actually minor quibbles in the grand scheme of things because Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol really excels in all areas -- acting, directing, writing -- where most action movies nowadays fail miserably.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Mission: Impossible III

-- Mission: Impossible Week --
Please note that all Mission: Impossible Week film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Mission: Impossible III (2006)

Starring Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ving Rhames, Billy Crudup, Michelle Monaghan, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Keri Russell, Maggie Q, Simon Pegg, Eddie Marsan, and Laurence Fishburne

Directed by J.J. Abrams

After the absolute debacle that was Mission: Impossible II, anything -- and I mean absolutely anything -- would've been an improvement.  Fortunately, this third installment in the M:I series leaves behind John Woo's white doves and fiery orange color palette for an admittedly much more cookie-cutter action picture.  Still, director J.J. Abrams' debut feature film rounded up a great cast (which as mentioned before is a bit of a staple for the M:I pics) and showed Hollywood that he had potential as a feature film helmer.

The film begins with Ethan Hunt (Cruise) setting out on a mission (impossible) to rescue fellow IMF agent Lindsey Farris (Keri Russell) whom Hunt himself trained from an undercover assignment that has gone horribly wrong.  Unfortunately, the rescue is a failure and Lindsey ends up dead (much to the chagrin of this blogger and longtime fan of Ms. Russell).  Determined to find the person who killed her, Hunt and his team (this time made up of newcomers Maggie Q, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and returnee Ving Rhames) begin to hunt down arms dealer Declan Gormley (Philip Seymour Hoffman) whose "business" Lindsey was attempting to infiltrate.

While the action sequences are certainly solid, what makes Mission: Impossible III stand out is Philip Seymour Hoffman's villain.  Hoffman relishes the maniacal nature of his character and from his opening scene to his last, he brings a vibrancy to the flick that we hadn't quite seen yet in the pictures in the franchise.  To balance Hoffman out, Cruise's Hunt is given a serious love interest in this film in Michelle Monaghan's Julia and the relationship gives us a more well-rounded picture of the series' main protagonist.

The negative to this film -- and admittedly it's a bit of a problem -- is that it's oddly forgettable.  As I sit here typing up this review a week after watching the flick, I found myself finding it difficult to remember key action pieces.  Even in the dismal M:I II, I recalled moments.  With Mission: Impossible III, however, it feels a bit too generic for its own good.  Without a particularly unique stylization from an auteur, Abrams has crafted a well-made action movie, but one that feels like it could've been a part of any other franchise.  Still, the film works and it works pretty well.  However, as you'll see soon, improvements could still be made on the franchise to really make it shine.

The RyMickey Rating:  B-

Movie Review - Mission: Impossible II

-- Mission: Impossible Week --
Please note that all Mission: Impossible Week film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Mission: Impossible II (2000)

Starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton, Ving Rhames, Richard Roxburgh, Brendan Gleeson, and Anthony Hopkins

Directed by John Woo

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

Quite frankly, the fact that Mission: Impossible II is the highest-grossing film domestically in the M:I series shows that Americans have no taste whatsoever because this is without a doubt one of the worst action movies crafted for the big screen...ever.  We're talking Transformers series levels of bad here.  Like its predecessor, there's stylized direction on display here.  Unfortunately, John Woo's weird aesthetic overtakes the story and fails to add anything, instead creating an atmosphere that's laughable with horrible visuals, dialog, and acting.

M:I II goes in a completely different direction from its predecessor which felt like a more intelligent spy film as opposed to a straight action flick.  While the remainder of the series also eschews the aesthetics of the first flick, none of the remaining three films stoop to levels as low as this film.  Quite frankly, the majority of the blame falls squarely on director John Woo's plate.  Saturated with an orange palette, Woo creates some of the silliest action sequences in the M:I series (that finale motorcycle scene is simply ridiculous) and then peppers in some of the hokiest non-action moments as well -- white doves flying out of fire, a lengthy flamenco dance (filmed via sweeping camera) that the main characters watch but never participate in, poorly directed scenes of romance between Tom Cruise and Thandie Newton.  There really is nothing good to talk about here.  Nothing.

While I mentioned in the first film's review this series' expertise in bringing together great casts, Woo directs typically solid actors like Anthony Hopkins and Brendan Gleeson so poorly that they can't add anything to the film.  Dougray Scott and Richard Roxburgh play villains with such a caricaturish spin that I half expected them to grow mustaches to twirl as they maniacally laugh.  Tom Cruise admittedly is solid -- a trait that will continue for him throughout the series -- but his beaming smile isn't enough to save this piece of dreck.

While Woo is certainly responsible for most of the blame, the trio of screenwriters here (one of whom actually helped to write the first film) must accept some responsibility for this film's failure as well.  One of the key gadgets of the Mission: Impossible series is a machine that creates a realistic face mask, accurately duplicating a person's facial features and vocal timbre.  I lost count of the number of times the writers used this trick in this film and utilizing this "gotcha"-type moment numerous times rings cheap and feels like a cop out.

I remember when this flick was released in 2000, I thought it was one of the worst movies of that year.  Having not watched it in over 15 years, I had hoped that maybe my mind was maybe just playing tricks on me and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had remembered.  Unfortunately, I realized that I'm not that senile as Mission: Impossible II is one of the worst action movies I've ever seen.  Fortunately, we move in a slightly different direction as the series moves forward because had this caliber of film continued, the Mission: Impossible franchise would've been one I'd have abandoned.

The RyMickey Rating:  F

Movie Review - Mission: Impossible

-- Mission: Impossible Week --
Please note that all Mission: Impossible Week film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Mission: Impossible (1996)

Starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Emmanuelle Béart, Henry Czerny, Jean Reno, Ving Rhames, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Vanessa Redgrave

Directed by Brian De Palma

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

The first film in the series, Mission: Impossible stands in stark contrast to the rest of the films that followed it...and that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Much more of a spy film than an action picture, director Brian De Palma creates a unique look for the film layering it with gray and blue overtones (whereas many of the others are filled with red and black visuals) and eschewing the bigger budget action set pieces for a bit more of a character-driven piece.  That said, the film isn't without its problems.

The flick builds its conflict around the lengthy opening set piece in which a group of IMF agents -- that's the Impossible Mission Force -- infiltrate a party in Prague in an attempt to retrieve a stolen list of IMF agents, the release of which will wreak havoc over the US government and the capabilities of their spy agency.  The mission doesn't succeed and as the agents leave the party, they find themselves ambushed seemingly leaving all but agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) dead.  Seeing as how Hunt survived the attack, his IMF superiors wonder if he is the mastermind behind it and the remainder of the film finds Hunt on his own personal impossible mission to find out who killed his team members.

This first film in the M:I series is the only one that really attempts to create a mystery surrounding who is the "big baddie."  Sure, other films have moments of surprise and red herrings, but they pretty much reveal the bad guy from the outset.  That's not the case here...and it's only moderately successful in terms of creating a whodunit atmosphere.  The biggest problem is that there are so few characters in the film that the possibilities of who could be behind the IMF attack are extremely limited and, in the end, create a lack of surprise when the "villain" is revealed.  Don't be mistaken - the film doesn't fail on this front, it's just that it doesn't succeed as well as it should because of the rather obvious culprit.

While Tom Cruise is certainly the "star" and he handles the lead role quite well, what's been incredibly pleasurable about this series as I've watched it is that they've built incredibly solid ensembles around the Big Name.  Here we get added oomph and gravitas from Jon Voight as Jim Phelps (a holdover character from the original Mission: Impossible tv show), Kristin Scott Thomas as a fellow IMF agent, and Vanessa Redgrave as a mysterious crook who is desperate to get that mysterious IMF secret agent list to sell it to the highest bidder.

As mentioned, Brian De Palma creates a different aesthetic in this initial film than those that follow it.  We're not treated to quick cuts or edits, but rather a camera that flows and moves a bit more casually than we're used to in action sequences.  We see interesting framing of faces and images that are typical of De Palma and admittedly only work sometimes (jarringly screaming "CINEMATIC" at other times), but at least provide interesting visuals.

Pleasingly, Mission: Impossible is a little smarter than your typical action picture.  It's not entirely successful, but it's a promising start to the multi-billion dollar-grossing series.  It's a shame that its sequel will end up nearly ruining the goodwill this flick brought to the screen.

The RyMickey Rating:  B-

Movie Review - Edge of Tomorrow

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Starring Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton, and Brendan Gleeson

Directed by Doug Liman

***viewed in 3D***

Reviews have called Edge of Tomorrow an action-oriented version of the 1990s comedy classic Groundhog Day and that's certainly an apt comparison with Tom Cruise the Bill Murray equivalent here -- a man who is forced to keep living the same day over and over again.  Cruise is Major William Cage, a military man who is the media relations guy for the United Defense Forces, a NATO-fronted organization who finds themselves (in the near future when our film takes place) on the forefront of fighting an alien race known as Mimics who have taken over most of Europe.  Unfortunately for Cage, he's summoned to meet General Brigham (Brendan Gleeson) who orders Cage into combat -- an arena that Cage has never found himself in before and one in which he has no desire to take part.  Despite his qualms, Cage is sent to ship out, taking part in a D-Day style Normandy-esque invasion against the aliens in France.  During the invasion, Cage is killed -- however (and this is why that isn't a spoiler), before he dies, Cage is covered in the "blood" of one of the more "sophisticated" aliens which causes Cage to live this same day and this same battle over and over again.  (There's a reason that I'll leave this vague on purpose.)

What Doug Liman and his trio of screenwriters successfully accomplish in Edge of Tomorrow is providing a unique experience each time Cage ends up reliving his day and, because of this, the film never once becomes the slightest bit boring.  Mixed with humor, Edge of Tomorrow actually ends up being one of the better science fiction-action flicks I've seen since in a long time.  Tom Cruise is certainly charismatic as Cage and does a nice job balancing the action and comedic sides of his character.  Emily Blunt plays Cage's confidante on the battlefield -- a warrior woman who, fortunately for Cage, once experienced the same exact thing he finds himself facing, only to lose the ability to relive the same day through an unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate) event that Cage himself needs to be wary of occurring.  Blunt is certainly the "straight man" to Cage's confusion and humor, but she holds her own as the tough gal in what I believe is her first action role.

I'm not quite sure why Edge of Tomorrow did so poorly at the box office although I'm sure it was a mix of things -- the title sucks, the trailer was very weak and unappealing, Tom Cruise himself isn't a draw and hasn't overcome the Oprah couch-jumping thing despite putting out a string of solid movies as of late (last year's Oblivion as another example).  It's rather unfortunate because, despite a "Hollywood-ized" ending (the film's only fault), Edge of Tomorrow is a perfect summer action flick that rocks and rolls its entire run time, keeping the viewer on the edge of their seat.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Jack Reacher

Jack Reacher (2012)

Starring Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, David Oyelowo, Richard Jenkins, Joseph Sikora, Jai Courtney, Werner Herzog, and Robert Duvall 

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

***This film is crrently streaming on Netflix***

Super Quick Review #1 of Today

Tom Cruise is the title character in Jack Reacher, a former military man who now finds himself investigating crimes back in the States.  The crime featured in what is now apparently the first of a series of Jack Reacher films involves a sniper who shot and killed five innocent people in Pittsburgh.  The shooter - a former military sniper - has no recollection of the crime and Reacher believes that he's likely innocent.

Cruise is solid and the film was enjoyable enough to watch, but the plot was rather convoluted.  The film's overarching "conspiracy" failed to resonate and I found myself not caring about the resolution all that much.  Still, Jack Reacher was decent...I'm just not sure I'd really care to see a sequel.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - Oblivion

Oblivion (2013)

Starring Tom Cruise, Andrea Riseborough, Olga Kurylenko, Morgan Freeman, and Melissa Leo

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

I saw Oblivion on a whim on its last day of release in theaters and the only thing I really knew about it was that some article I read said that most audiences would find it too complicated to comprehend -- "You really have to pay attention," it stated.  I'm all for something deep and intricate, but I found myself bracing for something rough.  All I can say is that it'd be a shame if people read the same article as me and shied away from seeing this flick like I almost did because Oblivion is one of the best science fiction films I've seen in a long time.

In 2017, aliens known as the Scavengers destroyed Earth's moon which wreaked havoc on our atmosphere, causing earthquakes, tsunamis, and other weather-related disasters.  Seeing our weakness, the "Scavs" invaded Earth, and while we managed to defeat them it was only via nuclear warfare which left most of our planet inhabitable.  Sixty years have passed and the humans that survived the ordeal now find themselves living on Titan, one of Saturn's moons.  Their new colony is powered by giant energy stations that sit atop Earth's oceans and Jack Harper (Tom Cruise) and his partner Victoria "Vic" Olsen (Andrea Riseborough) live atop and run station #49, reporting back daily to Sally (Melissa Leo), their mission commander back on Titan.  One day, while Jack is out fixing a drone that protects the power stations from the few remaining Scavs on Earth, five pods fall from the sky containing humans including a woman named Julia (Olga Kurylenko) whom Jack has been seeing in his dreams -- a woman whose past may hold secrets that could change Jack's future.

Director Joseph Kosinski helmed Tron: Legacy three years ago and while I enjoyed that film, I felt that the action sequences weren't quite up to par, making me wonder if the then-first-time director had what it took to craft a special effects-heavy film.  Oblivion erases any questions in my mind about Kosinski's capabilities as he not only gets solid performances from all his actors and corrects any pacing issues I may have had with his prior work (this film moves along exceedingly well), but also creates a fantastic world here for the characters to inhabit.  Granted, considering that the film takes place only sixty years in the future, it is a little bit difficult to fathom the seemingly amazing advancements this plot believes that we as a civilization would have made (especially considering we would have been making said advancements in the midst of an alien invasion), but once you get past the notion that incredibly complicated hovercrafts and flying metallic autonomous drones are commonplace, Kosinski's Earth is a pretty nifty one.  All of the effects here are top notch and are really seamless -- they deserve to be remembered at year's end.

Tom Cruise has his ups and downs in my opinion, but for every Rock of Ages, there's a an action film like this one and I think this is the genre where he succeeds the most for me.  For a good portion of the film, it's just Cruise onscreen alone and he completely holds our attention.  Granted, the film isn't exactly asking for a lot from the guy, but he does a nice job.  Andrea Riseborough (whom I saw live on stage in a play in New York several years ago) is a presence I'd like to see in movies a bit more often.  This was her first big budget film and despite her character's cold exterior, she lit up the screen for me.  I thought there was something special about her when I saw her onstage and I think that's certainly the case.

The film's one disappointment is Olga Kurylenko whom I didn't love in Quantum of Solace and I wasn't a huge fan of here either.  It's not that Ms. Kurylenko does anything drastically wrong, it's just that I've yet to see her bring any modicum of enthusiasm or spark to her acting.  She's a pretty face, but she might have been better off sticking to her earlier modeling career.

Nevertheless, Oblivion surprised me for sure, providing me with one of the best science fiction moviegoing experiences I've had in a long time.  When this one eventually makes its way to Blu Ray, I highly suggest giving it a go.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages (2012)

Starring Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman, Mary J. Blige, Bryan Cranston, Alec Baldwin, and Tom Cruise

Directed by Adam Shankman

Movies don't get much worse than Rock of Ages, one of the most dreadful films I've seen in a long time.     There's a line in Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" which is sung two or three times in this musical that says "the movie never ends / it goes on and on and on and on," and, boy, does this movie seem an interminable mess.  I'm legitimately not sure why I watched the whole thing except to say that I knew within the first ten minutes that this was going to be the worst movie of 2012 and I needed to at least be able to have seen the movie that warranted that ignominious prize.

Somehow or another, this melange of horrible '80s rock music has been running on Broadway since 2009 and it's still going strong.  With a paper thin plot involving "small town girl" Sherrie (Julianne Hough) who moves to L.A. to make it in the music industry only to find that life is more difficult than she could have imagined, Rock of Ages throws in a bunch of perfunctory characters to try and round out the tale.  Of course, Sherrie falls in love almost immediately upon arrival with Drew (Diego Boneta), an aspiring rock star who works at the iconic rock venue The Bourbon Room run by Lonny (Russell Brand) and Dennis (Alec Baldwin) whose "witty" repartee proves groan-inducing.  The Bourbon Room is unfortunately a bit behind in paying their taxes and Dennis formulates a deal for aging rock star and nonsensical alcoholic druggie Stacie Jaxx (Tom Cruise) to play a solo performance at the establishment, much to the chagrin of the new L.A. mayor (Bryan Cranston) and his bitchy wife Patricia (Catherine Zeta-Jones), the latter of whom is on a mission to "sanitize" the city by ridding it of its bars and strip clubs.

But since bars, strip clubs, alcohol, and rock and roll are totally tubular (there's an '80s term that thankfully faded), screw the government and rock on!  At least, that's what we're supposed to feel.  Instead, I just longed for this movie to come to a close.  Filled with some of the worst performances of the year (Mary J. Blige should never get another acting job after this), there's nothing even remotely positive to latch onto.  I thought maybe Tom Cruise who is certainly taking on a different role in Stacie Jaxx than we've seen from him before might at least provide some amusement in hamming it up for the screen, but instead I just felt bad for him to be involved in this dreck.  The two leads in Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta actually come out of this the most unscathed simply because their characters were the most "normal," and despite looking all doe-eyed and innocent for much of the film, neither were given embarrassing moments to undertake like the rest of their fellow cast members.

Director Adam Shankman who did a rather brilliant job with the amusing and cheerful Hairspray several years ago should've known better.  The film jolts back and forth between its various characters too much and the musical numbers are filmed rather blandly, lacking any imagination or creativity.  I don't think you could pay me enough money to watch Rock of Ages again.  Painful...just painful...

The RyMickey Rating:  F

Movie Review - Interview with the Vampire

Interview with the Vampire:

The Vampire Chronicles (1994)

Starring Tom Cuise, Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst, Stephen Rea, Antonio Banderas, and Christian Slater

Directed by Neil Jordan

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

There's promise in the overall premise of Interview with a Vampire, but there's a surprising lack of drive and oomph behind the story with a particularly leaden final act that ends the whole thing on a disappointing note.  With two fairly bland main characters in the vampires Lestat (Tom Cruise) and Louis (Brad Pitt), the story simply can't maintain its momentum the whole way through.  However, thanks to thanks to some beautiful looking images, lovely sets, a nice musical score, and a fantastic performance from a young Kirsten Dunst, there's enough here to recommend the macabre flick despite the fact that it had the possibility of being better.

Bookended by modern-day scenes of two-hundred-plus-year old vampire Louis telling his life saga to a young San Francisco writer (Christian Slater), the general gist of the story is how Louis copes with being compassionate to humankind considering that he needs blood in order to survive.  Turned into a vampire by the insatiable and overtly sexual (in both hetero- and homosexual manners) Lestat, the two vampires we meet could not be more different.  As Lestat tries to help Louis maneuver through the new world of being a vampire, Louis can't quite succumb to becoming a true vampire -- he finds it next to impossible and almost repulsive to take a human's life in order to quench his vampiric need for blood.

While the tension between Louis and Lestat is amusing, the film really comes alive when a young Kirsten Dunst appears as twelve-year-old Claudia turned into a vampire and stuck in her child's body forever.  Dunst manages to become the star here and whenever she is onscreen, I was riveted by her performance.  When her character appears, it's as if life was breathed into the film.  She completely one-ups the "stars" Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, both of whom have performances who vacillate between too subtle and too over-the-top.

As said above, the film looks stunning and gives off a tone of incredible sumptuousness.  Director Neil Jordan does create a nice balance between humor, drama, and gothic horror, however, the story just doesn't quite work all the time thanks to the two somewhat disappointing main characters.  Still, I found the whole thing very intriguing and, even a day later, despite some serious problems with the story, I'm thinking of it moderately fondly.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - Knight and Day (2010)

Knight and Day (2010)

Starring Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Viola Davis, and Paul Dano

Directed by James Mangold

There's no denying that Knight and Day is a ridiculous espionage comedy-thriller.  It's one of those movies where the bad guys can't make a shot, but the good guys always get their man.  And I doubt I'm ruining anything for anyone by saying that our two big name movie stars share some on-screen flirtation.  There's really nothing that you haven't seen before...and seen done better.

Yet, for some reason, Knight and Day kind of works.  And, honestly, it's because of Tom Cruise.  There's a smoothness and ease that he brings to his secret agent Roy Miller that pushes the movie to just a little above average.  June thinks Roy is winning from the get-go when they meet on flight to Boston, but June soon discovers that Roy's not your run-of-the-mill guy and is (rightly so) frightened by his career.   After the plane that they're on crashes in a wheat field, Roy (with the requisite Tom Cruisian charm) warns June that she unfortunately is now a part of this spy life whether she likes it or not.  June refuses to believe that Roy's correct, but she soon discovers that she may need him to survive.

Despite the fact that I can list many things that aren't great in the film (a lack of sexual chemistry between Diaz and Cruise, some awful special effects, a very disappointing and mildly "cop-outtish" ending), I still enjoyed the sheer fun of the film.  Cruise is funny and his star wattage is in full force here.  Diaz is perfectly fine, and while there's nothing exciting or special that she brings to the table, she certainly holds her own in this flick.  Co-stars Peter Sarsgaard and Viola Davis bring their considerable acting chops to the film as well.

Listen, if you come out of this saying that the film is awful, I couldn't really fight you on it.   There are infinitely better adventure-romance films -- seriously, everyone should check out Romancing the Stone which is the epitome of the genre, to me.  Nonetheless, if you're looking for some mildly diverting fun, you could do much worse than Knight and Day.

The RyMickey Rating: C+

Movie Review -- Valkyrie (2008)

starring Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Tom Wilkinson, and Terence Stamp

written by Christopher McQuarrie and Nathan Alexander

directed by Bryan Singer

I made the Valkyrie poster above especially big because I think it's kind of intriguing artistically. I mean, the way that the red line leads you right to Tom Cruise without even realizing that it's forming a half-Swastika symbol. I mean, it's kind of cool in terms of design...

If only the movie could've followed suit.

I was actually looking forward to seeing this flick. I mean, the premise is kinda cool -- a rogue group of men in Nazi Germany attempt to overthrow Hitler. Unfortunately that general premise is all you get.

There's the aforementioned group of men...you never get an opportunity to learn their names or why they hate Hitler (I mean, it's obvious why one now would hate Hitler, but why would these Germans back then...I still don't know). Men in this group come and go...Kenneth Branagh in fact plays a big role in the first reel and then literally disappears until the final scenes where they wrap things up.

There's a plot to overthrow him, that's for sure, but there's never any tension there at all. Anyone who knows anything about history knows that this attempt to kill Hitler didn't work and it would be easy to say that the tension isn't there because we (the viewer) already know they failed. But, I love to watch someone fail...don't we all? So, it was just the inability of the writers and directors to drum up any sense of excitement.

The actors were all serviceable, although the variety of accents (ranging from American to British to German) was odd considering everyone was playing a German soldier. Cruise was decent, and although his character had at least some background, the scenes with his family were laughable.

No doubt, this assassination attempt on Hitler was a piece of history that I had no idea ever happened. Unfortunately, I'm thinking a documentary would've been more exciting than this dreck.

The RyMickey Rating: D