Second Takes -- Moon and Crank: High Voltage

Just watched two 2009 movies again and they hold up pretty much as I originally thought.

• I watched Moon again at the Newark Film Festival, and I stand by my original thoughts on it. Rockwell is damn good and the production design is stellar...possibly the best this year. Still, it feels a little long in the middle, but it's certainly a smart film. The B sticks.
• I was a tad worried to watch Crank: High Voltage again simply because I wondered if watching it the small screen would cause it to lose it's insane allure. It doesn't. The movie is nuts...balls to the wall, take-no-prisoners nuts...and it's great fun. In my original review, I was unsure whether it was so bad it was good or just plain bad. Well, it's just damn good -- ridiculous, but damn good. While not for all tastes, it takes talent to make a movie this spastic actually enjoyable and comprehensible. Kudos to filmmakers Neveldine and Taylor. This is getting upgraded a half point to a B+. And, it's also taking a spot in the Top Ten again after it was removed last week...
  

Movie Review - The Ritual (2009)

Directed by Anthony Spadaccini

This is, in all likelihood, the worst movie I've ever seen. It's about some serial killer in Delaware who videotapes his murders. However, we never once see one of these murders...we're just told about them in a series of insanely boring and horribly shot video interviews of the killer to his new young protégé.

In order to make it through this movie, I wrote down three pages of notes...As you'll see below, my mind wondered quite a bit...there are some choice quotes here...

• On American Idol, there are scenes where the parents of these kids that can't sing praise their kids and give them big heads. I wonder if the director's friends and family do this to him because this movie is shit. [Note: this note was written less than FIVE minutes in!]
• At the five minute mark: I have never wanted a movie to be over more than this one.
• There are 102 square fabric panels on the wall in House #2 at the Newark Cinema Center (Thomas will later say there are 98)
• Did the Phillies end up winning tonight? I last heard that Madsen was coming in in the 9th as the closer with the Phils maintaining a 9-8 lead (Note: they didn't win...Madsen blew it...we need someone to be a closer, dammit!)
• Saw 6 can't be worse than this.
• I want to leave so badly, but there's a fucking video camera tripod set up in the aisle so we can't get out.
• I criticize my fellow moviegoer and give him shit for answering texts during the movie, but I was begging his girlfriend to text because at least I could get peeved at that rather than stew in my frustration over this movie.
• I wish I had Swedish Fish.
• I need to buy a pair of jeans.
• "Zoot suit riot . Throw back a bottle of beer."
• That guy kind of looks like Meatloaf
• I have literally never been this B-O-R-E-D in a movie in my life.
• Yoo Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg!
• Poke out my eyes!
• Will people applaud at the end of this (we left as soon as the credits began to roll, but I heard no applause)
• Oh my God, it's only 10:37. It's only been an hour!
• My fellow moviegoer says: We really could've used that free wine they were giving away in the lobby! 
• Are police officers allowed to wear earrings? ('Cuz they do in this movie)
• I am literally looking forward to Sorority Row.
• Movies like this make a mockery of cinema
• I'm starting to fade...sleep is creeping in...eyes getting heavy...
• With so little reviews of "The Ritual," I wonder if, when I post my "review," I'll pop up on the first page of Google if you type in "movie review the ritual delaware" [Note: I do!]
  
• From my fellow moviegoer: They oughtta show this at Guantanamo
• I don't think I'm gonna write anymore...Let me give this film a chance for the last 20 minutes.
• The Partridge Family
• The Brady Bunch
• "Hey, hey, we're The Monkees!"
• I Am the Walrus

Like I said, probably the worst movie I've ever seen. The zeros that I gave out this year have been treated unfairly because they could never ever be as bad as this. I'd rather only be able to watch Miss March or Brüno (love that ümlaut!) or Dance Flick for the rest of my life than to have to watch another frame of this movie.

The RyMickey Rating: F

Movie Review - Keeping the Peace (2009)

Directed by JJ Garvine and Tai Parquet

I try my hardest to separate my politics from what I'm watching onscreen. I was quite successful with the very good documentary Outrage that I watched earlier this week. Unfortunately, Keeping the Peace, a documentary by local Delawarean filmmakers, just made me angry.

First off, George W. Bush is Hitler according to this film's subject, Michael Berg. That quote was said in the first ten minutes and then repeated again by someone else (the real Dr. Patch Adams actually...you know the guy Robin Williams portrayed a few years ago). Berg's son, a young man contracted out to do work in Iraq, was brutally beheaded when he was captured by our enemies. Now, I understand Berg's frustration with the Bush administration (sort of), but Hitler comparisons? You lose your credibility, buddy. Berg decides to run for Delaware's single House of Representatives seat in 2006 as a member of the Green Party on a platform of peace. He's shut out of debates, has very little campaign money, and can't seem to get his message across despite getting national press (going on Larry King and some Inside Edition-ish-type show). Maybe he can't get his message across because it's hard to take the guy seriously since he's always wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  Nevertheless, the filmmakers really paint the guy as kind of a saint. [While at the same time, painting long-time Delaware Representative Mike Castle as devilish character initially (he is later depicted in an actual normal manner). The first time the film mentions Castle, a still photo is displayed onscreen with Castle shaded in "scary" blues and reds (kind of like a negative picture) with an ominous drumbeat playing behind him. Aargh! Frustrating!]

The people that make the most sense in this movie are Berg's campaign manager whom Berg fires a few months before the election. Berg's manager states that he "wanted Berg to win, but Berg just wanted to be a martyr." Amen, brother, amen! And then, they interview the communications director for the Republican Party of Delaware (props to my peeps!) who states that in order for third party candidates to really succeed, they need to start off small, winning county elections, etc, prior to moving up to the "big time." They need to gain their support before pushing for a run in the big leagues. And he's right. There's something to be said about the US being essentially a two-party system, but the film doesn't really say anything about it.

I feel bad for Michael Berg. Who wouldn't? What happened to his son was awful. But people like Berg make me angry. Even a simple throwaway segment where we learn that Berg was a public school teacher in the 90s and he posted peace rally signs all over his classroom made me peeved. Am I supposed to pay taxes so he can spout his beliefs to the kids of America? Nope. I'm not.

A frustrating movie that irked me immensely.

The RyMickey Rating: D-

Movie Review - Sin Nombre (2009)

Starring Édgar Flores and Paulina Gaitan
Directed by Cary Fukunaga

I feel like I've seen this movie before. In fact, I saw a very similar movie (in style only) called Trade starring the young actress Paulina Gaitan who also starred in this. This was a short movie (90 minutes) and it didn't feel long, but I couldn't really get interested in it enough to really like it or recommend it highly.

At the start of film, we see two storylines -- one involving young gang member Willy who seems to be struggling slightly with his gang leader and is soon pushed to the edge by a horrific act. The second story is about a dad, his daughter Sayra, and his brother. They decide to try and illegally enter the United States and hop on a train to get to the US border. These two stories will eventually intertwine and Sayra and Willy will meet. Willy saves her from an awful situation and young Sayra seems to fall in love (or, at the very least, grow intensely fascinated) with Willy. Good things can't come of that as Willy is being hunted down by his own gang for a crime he committed.

The unfortunate thing is that there was very little tension in this film. It's unfortunate because this is a character-driven flick and there's some fairly good acting on display here. Édgar Flores' Willy started out a little weak and by-the-book for me, but his character was eventually fleshed out a tad and it became better as the movie progressed. The star was Paulina Gaitan's Sayra. Yes, her character was flawed (her love/fascination for Willy, while warranted, seemed to come on much too quickly and her actions at the end of the flick were just silly), but the young actress was certainly impressive. I remember liking her a lot in Trade as well, so she is definitely a young gal to watch.

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - Every Little Step (2009)

Directed by Adam Del Deo and James D. Stern

Certainly, up until this point, this is the best thing I've seen thus far at the Newark Film Festival. A surprisingly tension-filled look at the auditions for the 2006 Broadway revival of A Chorus Line. The auditions are intercut with video and audio of A Chorus Line creator/choreographer Michael Bennett discussing how the musical came about and how they shaped it into a long-running show in the 1970s.

It runs a tiny bit too long towards the end, but I was actually amazed at how entertaining it was. It was actually incredibly interesting to see the nuances that different actors/actresses brought to the roles they were auditioning for and it allowed us in the audience to try and guess who should earn a spot in the show.

I really don't know a whole lot about A Chorus Line, and, if I'm being completely honest, none of the music that was showcased here really won me over and would make me want to see the show, but that's even more proof that the movie does a great job -- even if I wasn't impressed with the show, I was thoroughly impressed with the movie. I stand by the fact that this flick puts you on the edge of your seat wondering how things are gonna pan out for these young aspiring actors/singers/dancers.

The RyMickey Rating: B+

Movie Review - Valentino: The Last Emperor (2009)

Directed by Matt Tyrnauer

Although I have seen an infinitely more boring movie after watching this, I still found this flick incredibly blah. Some filmmakers follow around the eccentric designer Valentino around as he prepares for a fashion show (which may or may not be his last) and a 45th anniversary party.

There's nothing exciting here. Valentino's a spoiled little six year-old who always gets his way. I really couldn't care less.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Movie Review - Wiener Takes All: A Dogumentary (2009?)

Directed by Shane MacDougall

I initially walked out of this thinking that this documentary about wiener dog (read: dachshund) racing was so bad it was good. However, as the day has worn on and I'm over 12 hours removed from seeing it, I realize that it really doesn't hit that mark.

Yes, it's funny at times and I wasn't really bored during it, but there's really nothing here to recommend this to anyone.

The RyMickey Rating: C-

Movie Review - Sugar (2009)

Starring Algenis Perez Soto
Directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck

This flick started out as a very straightforward by-the-books baseball movie in the vein of The Rookie -- guy from the Dominican Republic pitches pretty well, gets picked up by the Kansas City Chiefs (I think that's what the team was called), plays for a bit, runs into some trouble in terms of not pitching as well as he should be, doubts himself, then has a comeback of sorts. Everything happened except that last thing, which, in some respects is a good thing...the filmmakers decided to do something different instead of the "happy" typical baseball movie ending. The unfortunate thing is that this film's final act is completely and utterly pointless, adds nothing to the flick, and runs on for much too long.

Algenis Perez Soto as the title character was actually decent, thankfully. Considering that he's never been in a single other thing, I was actually somewhat impressed. Now, he didn't wow me and it certainly wasn't anything to overly praise, but he at least kept my attention for two hours.

The directors (who were also the writers) were fairly unimpressive, throwing in a couple shots just to shout "Hey! Look at us! We can do cool shots like this! We've got talent!" In particular, there was a long tracking shot that simply followed Sugar as he walked through some casino-type fun center...it was a shot of his back for what felt like an eternity and then, when he finally got where he was going, the shot switched to something else. Nothing like looking at someone's back for 45 seconds. This shot stood out like a sore thumb.

So far, at this point, the Newark Film Festival is 0 for 2 when it comes to "narrative" films...True, I've already seen Moon and In the Loop which are also showing there, but as of now, the documentaries are infinitely more enjoyable.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Movie Review - The Horse Boy (2009)

Directed by Michel O. Scott and Rupert Isaacson

So, I walked out of this movie about an autistic boy and his parents who are trying to "heal" his disease thinking that I liked it. It was a well-put together documentary with some nice footage and an adequate amount of both interviews with medical professionals and the family that we're following.

But my fellow moviegoer despised it with a passion, saying that it was one of his least favorite movies of the year. As I was watching my next movie at the Newark Film Festival, I couldn't really stop thinking about this one and I slowly started to get angry about it...here's why...

Rowan is a six(?) year old boy who suffers from autism. His father, who loves horses, feels that Rowan is infinitely calmer when he is around horses and decides to take Rowan and his wife to Mongolia to (A) be around horses and (B) see some shamans who will maybe "heal" his son. The problem is (and this is even recognized by the parents at times in the movie) that this is really just a self-serving plan for the parents. The parents are pushing their agenda onto their son. Their guilt is seen as they're grasping for straws to find some healing power for their son. Who cares that when they get to Mongolia, Rowan is calmer while watching a tv, rather than when he's around horses? I feel like that dad could've easily said at any point in time, "You're getting on that damn horse, Rowan! We traveled all the way to Mongolia to ride these horses and we're gonna ride some frickin' horses!" The mother admits that Rowan's "attitudes" go up and down naturally, so why make this trip? In the end, Rowan is supposedly a much more even-keeled kid, but that also could be because that's the agenda that the documentarians were pushing.

While on imdb, it only lists Michel O. Scott as the director, wikipedia lists the Rowan's father as the director, too...and if that's the case, the agenda-pushing here is ridiculous. Even though the film looks good, I cannot help but think that the family was only pushing what they wanted the audience to see. And, although the father throws in a line or two to show that this trip was entirely self-serving for himself (even if it did have a somewhat beneficial result for their son), looking back on it, the movie is too manipulative for its own good.

The RyMickey Rating: D+

FYI...This is one of the few films at the Newark Film Festival that is being shown prior to it getting a limited release (I believe it opens in Philly in the next two weeks or so).

Movie Review - $9.99 (2008)

Featuring the voice talents of Geoffrey Rush and Anthony LaPaglia
Directed by Tatia Rosenthal

The one thing I can say about this movie that makes it unique is that I'm sure it's the first time you'll have seen full frontal male claymation nudity.

Moving on from that, this animated flick is about a group of people living in an apartment complex and their interweaving lives. Honestly, there's not a whole lot of story here...the tales of the ten or so people that we come across are all very generic and certainly not original (for the most part...although there was an extremely odd tale about a woman who wanted all her sex partners to get their bones sucked out of them...literally...and I don't mean "bones sucked" in a sexual way, you flithy-minded heathens. She literally wanted them to go and have a procedure wherein their bones would be sucked out of their bodies).

Nevertheless, despite the lack of originality, the claymation is what makes this movie unique and places it in the "recommend" category for me. I'm a sucker for claymation (there was a Claymation television special that ran around Christmas when I was little that had two dinosaurs as the hosts trying to find the meaning of the Christmas song "Here We Come a'Wassailing" that I still watch every single year on VHS...I love it!...but enough about that...), and the animation here was pretty damn good. Little things like turns of a head or hand motions had an authenticity to them.

This is a short movie, and while not a great one, I would certainly add this to your netflix queue when it becomes available on dvd...it's 75 minutes that, if you're an animation fan, you'll be happy you watched.

The RyMickey Rating: B-

Movie Review - Outrage (2009)

Directed by Kirby Dick

The crux of this film, as was stated in the pre-film introduction by a former professor at the University of Delaware, is whether the outing of gay politicians by other gays should be considered gay-bashing in the homosexual community. Should politicians who support legislation that is "harmful" to the gay community be outed if they are hidden deep in the closet?

Although the film does detail the story of the outing of Democrats Ed Koch and Jim McGreevey, the huge focus is on the Republican party. Granted, it's the conservatives that are more likely to vote against gay-friendly legislation, but it certainly comes off as more anti-conservative than anti-liberal (This was most evident to me in a completely unnecessary scene towards the end of the film that throws in tales of multiple gay teens who were killed...the only reason this segment is in the movie is to drum up sympathy and it made me angry). Still, even the Republican writing this must admit that there's something innately hypocritical about gay politicians constantly voting "no" on gay legislation.

Yes, the film criticizes my political leanings, but I'm the first to admit that the Republican party isn't perfect (although we're certainly more perfect than those nutjob liberals). It angers me when the Republicans team up with the Religious Right and allow religion to rule over everything. Have some balls, folks! Heck, I'm a religious guy, but isn't a staple of all religions some tenant of kindness? No need to be nasty against people that are "different" from you. I may not be pro-gay marriage, but I'm not gonna be nasty about it (note that I'm for legal unions for homosexuals, but not for the use of the term "marriage"...but enough about my political leanings...there's nothing like discussing politics to make people hate you...so I'm gonna stop).

The film, as a whole, moves along at a fairly quick pace. It doesn't really drag and it looks pretty good onscreen. Yes, it's evident that it's pushing an issue/side (and those interviews with the gay Log Cabin Republicans don't fool me into thinking it's really even-keeled), but it was surprisingly decent even if it didn't really bring anything new to the table.

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2009)

Directed by Sacha Gervasi

Unlike It Might Get Loud's three musicians, I have no desire to go and listen to the heavy metal group Anvil after watching this flick. In fact, if I never hear another word about them, the better.

We are introduced to the band via interviews with rockers like Lars Ulrich of Metallica and Slash from Guns 'n' Roses telling us how influential the 80s metal band Anvil was to them. For some reason or another (we're led to believe that it's because of crappy record labels), Anvil falls into some level of obscurity, all but forgotten except by some loyal (read: crazy) fans. Although lead singer/guitarist Steve "Lips" Kudlow and drummer Robb Reiner are now working normal everyday jobs, they long to return to their roots. When a fan contacts them about becoming their manager and starting a European tour, they jump at the chance. The tour is somewhat of a failure, but it gets Lips in the mood to record another album, attempting to regain the success of his youth.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get past the fact that this felt like a mash-up of VH1's Behind the Music and Reuniting the Band. The film was trying to get me care about these guys, but they're really just two nutty fifty year olds who are going through a mid-life crisis, longing for their youth. There were interviews and moments here that really felt set up, too, which doesn't sit well with me -- for example, we just happen to be sitting with Lips as he reads an e-mail about the fan that I mentioned above who wants to be their manager and set up a world tour...how convenient!

Towards the end of the movie, someone compares Anvil to Rolling Stones and The Who. I may not even care a bunch for those bands, but Anvil is not even in the same category, and pretending that they are makes you lose some credibility.

The RyMickey Rating: D+

Movie Review - No Denying: Delawareans Bear Witness to the Holocaust (2008)

Directed by Steve Gonzer

Part One of a five-part series, No Denying: Delawareans Bear Witness to the Holocaust is essentially a series of five to ten-minute interviews of Jewish Delawareans who survived the atrocities of the Holocaust and Delawareans who were part of the military that freed the Jews during WWII.

Without a doubt, these interviews of these folks should be filmed. It's important to have this on record (if only to prove to the crazies out there that the Holocaust actually occurred...a point that only quickly mentioned despite the fact that the title would make you think otherwise). That being said, these interviews don't make a good film. There's no flow to this documentary at all. It's simply an interview, followed by another interview, followed by some black-and-white photography or video footage from the 1930s/40s...then we're back to another interview, then another, and then the stock footage again. It just gets boring, unfortunately. You could easily have got up and left at any point in time and not missed a thing.

Once again, it's necessary to have these accounts on record, but I really didn't think it works as a cinematic vehicle.

The RyMickey Rating: D+

Movie Review - Tyson (2009)

Directed by James Toback

It's apparent that Mike Tyson has been hit one too many times in the boxing ring. Let me just throw out some choice quotes that came out of this guy's mouth.

"I'll fuck you 'til you love me" -To a newspaper reporter who had given him a hard time

"I like to watch women like a tiger watches its prey after it wounded them."

"My insanity is my only sanity."

Believe me...there were a ton more where that came from...those were just the three I wrote down.

This is Tyson's life story, dealing with his youth (he was a thief and a crook), his introduction to boxing, his work with his favorite trainer Cus D'Amato, and his heavyweight championship bouts. While the film certainly does hit on his many significant misfires in life -- his famous failed marriage to Robin Givens, his rape conviction in 1992, his biting of Evander Holyfield's ear in 1997 -- it oftentimes feels like they're glossed over. The only reason I likely am even saying that is that the film is told as an autobiography -- there's no narrator and the only person we hear speak (outside of archival footage) is Tyson himself. I was impressed that he actually spoke about his various issues, but I wanted a little bit more.

The film was a little jumpy, bouncing back and forth in time, and I don't think I needed to see Tyson reading a poem in a voiceover as he walks along the beach at sunset. Still, it was a decent look at this guy...but also showed that, without a doubt, he's nuts.

The RyMickey Rating: C+

2009 Newark Film Festival

Starting today, I'm headed to exotic Newark, Delaware, to attend the 2009 Newark Film Festival. At this point, I'm feeling like the fest is a little heavy on documentaries, but I'm all for docs as long as they're interesting and have a point. Also, it's slightly disappointing that two or three of these just recently came out on dvd. Oh, well...I'm looking at this as prep for the Philly Film Fest next April.

It'll be 21 movies spread out over six days...so expect a bunch of posts for a bunch of movies you've never heard of within the next few days...