Her Smell

 Her Smell (2019)

Starring Elisabeth Moss, Amber Heard, Cara Delevingne, Dan Stevens, Agyness Deyn, Gayle Rankin, Ashley Benson, Eric Stoltz, and Virginia Madsen

Directed by Alex Ross Perry

Written by Alex Ross Perry

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: B+

Aquaman

Aquaman (2018)

Starring Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe, Patrick Wilson, Dolph Lundgren, and Nicole Kidman

Directed by James Wan

Written by David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick and Will Beall

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - The Danish Girl

The Danish Girl (2015)

Starring Eddie Redmayne, Alicia Vikander, Amber Heard, Ben Whishaw, and Matthias Schoenaerts

Directed by Tom Hooper

Talk about Oscar bait -- every single solitary thing about The Danish Girl just screams "GIVE ME AN OSCAR IN ANY AND EVERY IMAGINABLE CATEGORY!"  From the cinematography's soft lighting to the musical score's dramatics to the direction that is sometimes laughably mannered to a leading actor who seems to be trying so desperately hard to "inhabit" a role, all aspects of The Danish Girl seem to have been made with the hope of claiming film's most coveted prize.  Needless to say, director Tom Hooper's film is so utterly disappointing and bland in nearly every aspect -- save one -- that I hope the Oscar voters don't take the obvious bait.

Based on a true story, The Danish Girl tells the tale of Dutch artist Einar Wegener (Eddie Redmayne) who was born and lived life as a man, but feels that he is truly meant to be a woman.  Back in the 1920s, terms like "transgender" weren't known and Wegener certainly didn't know what was "wrong" with him in terms of his inability to truly feel his natural self.  His wife Gerda (Alicia Vikander), who is also an artist, has seemingly always known of Einar's proclivities to femininity and she embraces it, thinking that it will make their relationship better also presumably completely unaware of Einar's true feelings.  One evening, Gerda convinces Einar to attend an art gathering dressed as a woman whom they name Lili and Einar's world is turned upside down as he realizes that being a woman is who he truly longs to be.

In the grand scheme of things, buying into the story of The Danish Girl isn't particularly difficult, but the film makes it impossible to give a damn about nearly everything we see unfold.  Director Tom Hooper takes Lucinda Coxon's bland and watered-down screenplay and drags things out interminably.  There's really not much that happens here plot-wise and yet somehow I feel like Hooper and Coxon failed miserably at creating soul and dramatics around this life-changing moment in Einar's world.

Of course, Oscar winner Eddie Redmayne (who was so fantastic in The Theory of Everything) is also a huge reason as to why the film lacks emotional connection as well.  Rather than really dig into the role, Redmayne's mannered performance feels paint-by-numbers and studied rather than natural.  Granted, some would say that Einar is learning how to be a woman so of course he would feel uncomfortable, nervous, and mannered at first.  I'd certainly agree with that which is why it may seem unfair to say that every moment of Redmayne's performance felt as if he was "acting" rather than "inhabiting" (since Einar is kind of, sort of "acting" at first, too), but there wasn't a single moment here where Redmayne breathes life into Einar/Lili.  Even towards the end when Lili is finally coming into her own, it's as if we're watching a soft-spoken, one-note audio-animatronic rather than a real person onscreen.  To say Redmayne is a disappointment here is an understatement.

It certainly doesn't help that for every lack of insight in Redmayne's eyes, we see the exact opposite of that from Alicia Vikander who is the only good thing going for this film.  Vikander is compelling as Gerda and she does her best to make things as compelling as possible.  There are scenes where you get a sense of desperation, sadness, and yet understanding of her husband's plight (which becomes her plight as well seeing as how her world will drastically change), but none of that emotion is reciprocated to her by anyone else onscreen.

The Danish Girl is truly a disappointment.  With the pedigree behind it -- I truly enjoyed Hooper's The King's Speech -- I can't help but say I was hoping for something more than softly-lit scenes of softly spoken words being whispered to one another by characters as they run their fingers over pieces of clothing or make brushstrokes on a canvas.  Rather than artfully tell a story, this film reeks of desperation to win awards moreso than any other film I've seen in a long time which in part would be acceptable if it was any good which The Danish Girl is certainly not.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - 3 Days to Kill

3 Days to Kill (2014)

Starring Kevin Costner, Hailee Steinfeld, Amber Heard, and Connie Nielsen

Directed by McG

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

3 Days to Kill has no clue what it is.  Is it an action movie in which an older, grizzled CIA officer discovers he has three months to live and sets out begrudgingly on one final mission?  Is it a family drama in which the aforementioned older, grizzled CIA officer tries to reconnect with his ex-wife and now teenaged daughter whom he abandoned for his job?  Or is a quirky comedy starring an older grizzled Kevin Costner as an older, grizzled CIA officer who can't figure out why his teenage daughter (Hailee Steinfeld) finds him so repugnant?  As the film attempts to meld all three of these varied plots, it becomes a muddled mess with none of the three story lines panning out in any desirable fashion.

Although I thought the flick started out promisingly with a moderately intense opening action scene, things quickly devolve from there.  Costner is actually decent and Steinfeld is charismatic although her character is much too much of a stereotypical jerk of a teenager to give a damn about her various plights.  The less said about Amber Heard as Costner's boss, the better -- her character is just so nebulously vague and odd that I never quite understood who she was or why she was told to act like some S&M vixen throughout.  McG's direction doesn't do any of the actors any favors, failing to find any rhythm in the dramatic and comedic scenes.  (He fares a tiny bit better in the film's action moments, but they're so few and far between that it doesn't much matter.)  This one's big ole waste of time.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Paranoia

Paranoia (2013)

Starring Liam Hemsworth, Gary Oldman, Amber Heard, Embeth Davidtz, Julian McMahon, Josh Holloway, Richard Dreyfuss, and Harrison Ford

Directed by Robert Luketic

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

Considering the thrashing Paranoia received from the critics (earning an abysmal 5% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes), I was expecting the absolute worst from this financial thriller.  Admittedly, the only reason I watched this flick is because I read the book (link here), but (and I recognize this is faint praise) it really wasn't as bad as I expected.  The problem with Paranoia is that the film puts Liam Hemsworth in the lead role and gives him a love interest in Amber Heard in an attempt to skew to a younger audience, but the film's story is about two large techie corporations headed by bigwigs Nicholas Wyatt and Jock Goddard (played by Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford) who are trying to one up each other -- a storyline that couldn't be further away from appealing to youths.  This juxtaposition places Paranoia in a bit of "no man's land" with a too-confusing plotline for the Twitter-verse, but a too simplistic tale for the older crowd.

The book upon which this film is based was admittedly a light, fun read, but skewing younger may have been the flick's downfall.  The aforementioned Hemsworth and Heard are both lovely to look at and are actually surprisingly confident in their ability to carry the film, but they just don't fit here.  Perhaps I'm remembering incorrectly, but the book seemed to focus on a thirtysomething guy who fits this high-tech, gadget-filled, "smart" environment a little bit better.  I can't help but think that a few more years and wrinkles on Hemsworth's character Adam Cassidy -- an up-and-coming techie who agrees to snoop on Goddard's company after he gets in trouble with his former boss Wyatt -- would've helped the believability factor a bit.

Undoubtedly, there are better films streaming on Netflix at the moment, but Paranoia moves along at a solid clip and if you're in the market for some mindless entertainment this may just fit the bill.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2013...or 2006?)

Starring Amber Heard, Michael Welch, Whitney Able, Edwin Hodge, Aaron Himelstein, Luke Grimes, Melissa Price, and Anson Mount

Directed by Jonathan Levine

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

I think I've mentioned this before, but getting reviews of horror movies from AintItCool.com is probably the worst thing one can do.  Granted, I'm well aware that no one even looks at AintItCool.com anymore, but back in 2006 when All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was supposed to come out, it was still a de rigueur website.  Yes, that's right -- this film has been sitting on the shelf for seven years.  It was snatched up by the Weinsteins for over $3.5 million after a apparently stellar debut at a film festival, but the movie mogul brothers got cold feet about its prospects and sold it to another distribution company which went belly up before the film was able to be released.  So gathering dust it sat until director Jonathan Levine's 50/50 came out to rave reviews (deservedly so) and the Weinsteins decided to seek out this film again -- Levine's directorial debut.

Anyway, back to AintItCool.com -- the movie geeks at that site were saying that All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was a reinvention of the slasher genre.  A new Scream for a new generation.  Um...no.  Not even relatively close.  Instead, this is a low budget, rather humorless flick, filled with some obnoxious music video-esque lensing and nary a character we can rally behind and hope that they make it out alive.

Amber Heard is certainly gorgeous and the film wants us to know that right from the start.  The opening shot features Heard as the title character walking down a high school hallway with everyone -- boy and girl alike -- staring at everything Mandy has to offer (and thanks to slow motion, the glimpses linger).  Despite her beautiful appearance, Mandy Lane is not one to sleep around and she certainly doesn't hang out with the cool crowd.  Instead, she hangs out with her best buddy Emmett (Michael Welch) who's undoubtedly less popular than Mandy.  After an horrific accident at a high school party in which Emmett is held somewhat responsible for another student's death, Mandy disassociates herself from him and becomes a bit more intrigued with the popular crowd, five of whom invite her to a secluded ranch for a weekend getaway.  Little does the sextet know that someone will be picking them off one by one.

Quite simply, there's nothing original about All the Boys Love Mandy Lane.  The story is typical, the kills are uninspired, and the acting is simply average.  This is far from a reinvention of the slasher genre, instead feeling like another tired retread.  It's easy to see why this one sat on the shelf for so long and I'm not at all sure why it was so well-received upon its film festival debut.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - The Ward

The Ward (2011)

Starring Amber Heard

Directed by John Carpenter

Having essentially gone direct-to-dvd after a few showings at scattered film festivals and a brief release in NYC, John Carpenter's The Ward isn't really worth my time to write a review.  Despite one or two "jump moments" this horror flick about a girl named Kristen who finds herself admitted to a mental hospital in the 1960s doesn't really have a thing going for it.  Amber Heard as the headstrong Kristen is adamant that there's nothing wrong with her and she'll do whatever it takes to get her and her fellow patients out of the psych ward.  Somewhere along the line, ghosts pop up, her psychiatrists act odd, and people start to go missing...but there's not a single unique thing in this movie.  The performances are lackluster and the production values look like they were made on the cheap (and they probably were, but that's not an excuse).  

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - The Joneses

The Joneses (2010)

Starring David Duchovny, Demi Moore, Amber Heard, Ben Hollingsworth, Gary Cole, and Lauren Hutton 

Directed by Derrick Borte

The expensive cars.  The latest electronics.  The hippest clothing.  It takes a lot of cash to keep up with the trendsetting Joneses.  And in first time writer-director Derrick Borte's satire on the popular catchphrase, he attempts to showcase the ridiculousness of our consumer-driven society.  Unfortunately, he doesn't quite succeed, but it's an admirable attempt that might have worked a little better if only it had gotten a little dirtier and grittier rather than playing things so light-heartedly. 

When the Joneses move into a ritzy suburban neighborhood, they're immediately fawned over by the neighbors.  Steve and Kate Jones (David Duchovny and Demi Moore) and their son and daughter (Ben Hollingsworth and Amber Heard) seem to be the perfect family.  They have it all and they're not afraid to flaunt it.  Little do the neighbors know that this foursome isn't a family at all -- they've been hired by a consumer products company to sell items to the unwitting neighbors.  As is to be expected, the best laid plans don't go so well for the Joneses and their scheme soon runs a risk of being uncovered.

The premise in The Joneses is quite promising.  It's an intriguing idea and one that actually (and surprisingly) doesn't seem too inconceivable when it appears onscreen.  The problem lies in everything else going on outside of the premise.  Side stories involving the sex lives of the two kids seem superfluous and completely unnecessary and certainly take away from the driving force of the satire.  A focus on the Joneses next-door neighbors, the Symonds (Gary Cole and Glenne Headley), seems too jokey and farcical, lacking any sense of realism.  These tangents that writer Borte takes certainly impede his true focus -- his taking on of our materialistic society -- and it really causes the film to seriously falter.

The film looks good which is certainly commendable seeing as how this is Borte's debut.  And he absolutely culls some decent performances from Duchovny and Moore.  However, the flaws mentioned above greatly outweigh the strengths.  I was, for the most part, very bored watching The Joneses and with as interesting a premise as it could have been, it is an unfortunate disappointment.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The Stepfather (2009)

The Stepfather (2009)

Starring Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley, and Amber Heard

Directed by Nelson McCormick 

I have to wonder if this movie were simply made-for-tv and then distributed in multiplexes nationwide to satisfy some pre-existing contract.  It stars Dylan Walsh who's best known for Nip/Tuck; Sela Ward whom I've had a crush on since she was on tv's Once and Again (yes, I know she's much too old for me [although nowadays that may not be so true], but I really think she's hot); Penn Badgley who is apparently on Gossip Girl which I've never even seen a second of; and Amber Heard who I only know because she showed her boobs a lot in a movie no one saw (and no one should see) called The Informers.  All of these no-names come together for a remake of a film from the 1980s which starred Lost's John Locke himself Terry O'Quinn as the titular character.

All those tv stars, plus the fact that there's no absolutely cursing, no nudity, and very little blood makes me feel like this would fit right in on television.  And really, it would've made an ok lowered-expectation tv flick, but as an actual film, it's pretty darn awful.

The actors all actually are fairly decent and it's kind of nice to see at least half of this film revolve around the adults instead of the teenagers, but the plot about a seemingly perfect man (Walsh) who comes into a divorced woman's (Ward) life only to find out he may not be who he seems has been done tens of times before and done better.  There's no suspense because we the viewers know that this guy is awful (we're shown him walking away from his previous murder victims in the opening scene) and because we can pinpoint immediately which side characters are gonna bite the dust by the time the movie ends.  The murder scenes are just horribly plotted -- in one scene, the two sons are playing a video game loudly in their bedroom with the door open, but fail to hear breaking glass and a murder taking place a floor below them -- it was all just laughable.

My seemingly "go-to" flicks now are horror films after the great one-two punch of Drag Me to Hell and Orphan last year.  So, I find myself gravitating toward these silly things on Netflix's Instant Watch.  Unfortunately, most of them just aren't any good.  And this is no exception.

The RyMickey Rating: D 

Movie Review - Zombieland (2009)

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, and Amber Heard
Directed by Ruben Fleischer

There's nothing wrong with having fun at a movie every now and then. Zombieland doesn't take itself too seriously, it doesn't overstay its welcome, and its simply a zippy movie about killing some undead creatures.

The story is short, sweet, and to-the-point -- the world has been overtaken by zombies and there appear to be only four human survivors left. Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) is the dorky twenty-something guy; Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) is the take-no-prisoners gung-ho down-south good 'ole country boy zombie killer; and Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) are devious sisters who seem to be only looking out for themselves. These four people meet, join forces (maybe), and travel cross-country in hopes of finding some zombie-less area of the US.

What I found neat about this film is that it's totally a commercial product -- this isn't an indie flick by any means -- but it really only had four characters in it the whole time. Sure, there's a really great cameo by a movie star, but it was just these four characters and their interactions that made up the movie. You don't see that much in big budget Hollywood productions and that made this stand out. Sure, they were killing a bunch of zombies, but there were only six speaking roles here. Unusual.

Of course, that's helped by the fact that three of the four actors here were actually good. Eisenberg was playing the same character he played in Adventureland (scroll down two blog posts for that one), but it worked here in this context. Harrelson was a hoot -- funny and surprisingly touching. Emma Stone is hot and a decent actress...can we make her a star? Unfortunately, little Abigail Breslin proves once again that she really isn't all that Oscar nomination for Little Miss Sunshine cracked her up to be.

What can I say? I laughed out loud. I actually jumped at a certain point. What more could I ask of from a horror-comedy hybrid?

The RyMickey Rating: B