Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)

Starring Will Ferrell, Rachel McAdams, Dan Stevens, Melissanthi Mahut, Demi Lovato, and Pierce Brosnan

Directed by David Dobkin

Written by Will Ferrell and Andrew Steele 

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: B-

Movie Review - No Escape

No Escape (2015)

Starring Owen Wilson, Lake Bell, Sterling Jerins, Claire Geare, and Pierce Brosnan

Directed by John Erick Dowdle

No Escape landed on several Worst of 2015 lists when normal reviewers (unlike myself) rolled them out earlier this year and while it's certainly not great, it manages to have enough excitement that I was able to look past some story flaws and ludicrously silly direction (slow mo action is never a good thing).  Sure, it may not be good, but I was at least interested in its (obvious) outcome so that keeps it out of the lowest reaches of my 2015 movie list.

Jack Dwyer (Owen Wilson) realizes the difficulties involved in moving his wife Annie (Lake Bell) and his daughters Lucy (Sterling Jerins) and Beeze (Claire Geare) to a foreign (unnamed) Asian nation near Vietnam, but when his new job for Cardiff Industries wants him to oversee the installation of water systems, he totes his family along for the ride.  Upon their arrival, the Dwyers face a bit of a culture shock with tv's, telephones, and electrical outlets not working in their hotel, but they're seemingly willing to face the difficulties seeing as how Jack had been out of work for quite a while.  Rather unfortunate, however, the night of the Dwyers' arrival, the Prime Minister of this unnamed country is murdered by a large group of rebels upset that their water systems are being sold out to an American company.  The assassination of the head of the government sets off a massive riot in which huge portions of the population set out to kill all the Americans in their country as well as anyone trying to help them.  The Dwyers are forced to run for their lives, attempting to find a safe haven in the midst of the violent chaos.

Director John Erick Dowdle (who co-wrote the film with his brother Drew) is best known for horror flicks (some good, some not so good) and No Escape is really his first mainstream venture outside of that genre.  While I actually thought he did a decent job of capturing the familial aspects of the script -- I found Wilson and Bell to be believable as parents desperate to do what it takes to keep their daughters alive -- the action aspects of the plot and the motivations of the rioters oftentimes seem silly or ludicrous.  This is one of those films where the bad guys capture the good guys and then stand around pointing their guns at them as opposed to simply shooting them quickly.  The bad guys have a little conversation (here, in an unsubtitled foreign language so it makes even less sense) while the good guys can formulate a plan for escape.  Dowdle also peppers his direction with some really silly tricks - the aforementioned slow motion, as an example - that don't do anything except invoke laughter.

No Escape also runs on a little too long and grows a bit repetitive which is why, in the end, I had to rank this just below a RyMickey recommendation.  While I don't think it's quite as bad as other critics made it out to be, there's just one too many faults to really make it worthwhile.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The November Man

The November Man (2014)

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Luke Bracey, Olga Korylenko, Bill Smitrovich, Lazar Ristovski, Caterina Scorsone, and Will Patton

Directed by Roger Donaldson

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

Blah.  The November Man isn't bad, but isn't particularly good either and because of that I find myself struggling to give a damn in terms of this review.  Pierce Brosnan is retired CIA agent
Devereaux who is asked to return to the fray by his old boss Hanley (Bill Smitrovich) for a particularly personal mission involving an old flame of his who is infiltrating the Russian political scene.  When Deveraux's sneaky task goes awry, he finds himself being hunted by the CIA and his former pupil Mason (Luke Bracey) seeing as how Hanley kept the mission under wraps from those within the agency.

The problem with The November Man is that it's so generic, so "been there, done that," and so obvious that it's tough to get excited about anything it presents.  The acting is okay, but no one does anything special.  The action sequences are adequately directed, but they never really create any excitement or tension.  The story kept my interest, but my interest never piqued with true vigor and anticipation of what was around the bend.

So, in the end, The November Man just gets a "blah" from me and nothing more.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The Love Punch

The Love Punch (2014)

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Emma Thompson, Timothy Spall, and Celia Imrie

Directed by Joel Hopkins

In The Love Punch, Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson play Richard and Kate Jones, a divorced couple whose retirement nest egg is depleted after a nasty young French businessman buys the company for whom Richard works.  Richard and Kate are obviously devastated, but after discovering that the businessman is due to be married to a French model whom he has bestowed the biggest diamond ever sold at auction, Kate hatches a plan to steal the diamond in order to make back their money as they enlist the help of their best friends (Timothy Spall and Celia Imrie) as they trek across France.

This comedic caper first lacks any comedy.  With the exception of maybe a chuckle or two, The Love Punch falls completely flat.  It's also a flick that's much too obvious and transparent with the bickering Richard and Kate inevitably being set up to fall in love again from the film's opening scenes.  Brosnan and Thompson (along with Spall and Imrie) try to make the most of things, but when they're tethered to lame jokes that play off their age -- lack of bladder control being used multiple times -- they can't save this lame duck.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-

Movie Review - A Long Way Down

A Long Way Down (2014)

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collette, Aaron Paul, Imogen Poots, Rosamund Pike, Tuppence Middleton, and Sam Neill

Directed by Pascal Chaumeil

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

Lacking any type of balance, A Long Way Down is a drama/comedy mash-up that's a big ole mess.  Four strangers meet each other on the roof of a high rise building in London on New Years' Eve.  All had the intention of jumping to their deaths because of how horrible their lives were, but none of them go through with it, instead making a pact with one another to keep themselves alive until Valentine's Day at which point they can reassess their standing in life.

This odd premise doesn't crystallize into a proper story at any point in time throughout director Pascal Chaumeil's film.  There are attempts by Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collette, Aaron Paul, and Imogen Poots to round out their characters into more fully realized souls, but they aren't given much with which to work.  Collette fares the best as the struggling mother of a twentysomething son with cerebral palsy, but her counterparts aren't so lucky.  Brosnan as a slimy news reporter, Paul as an introverted musician, and Poots as a politician's rambunctious daughter are all simply caricatures.  Granted, Collette's character's struggle is nothing more than a stereotype as well, but her character's intentions post-suicide attempt are the most believable which is much more than I can say for the rest of the film's depressed quartet.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

Starring Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, Rosario Dawson, Uma Thurman, and Catherine Keener

Directed by Chris Columbus

Low-rent Harry Potter is what this one is.  Director Chris Columbus (who also directed the first two Potter pics) manages to actually craft a decent looking film filled with moderately nifty special effects sequences, but the story itself here is pretty dismal.

High schooler Percy Jackson (a one-note Logan Lerman) discovers on a school field trip one day that he is the son of the Greek god Poseidon.  It turns out that Zeus believes that Percy (for some ridiculous reason or another) stole his lightning bolt and unless he returns it in two weeks, humans will have hell to pay.  Why?  I don't know.  Maybe because Percy's a half human-half god or maybe because Zeus is just one angry dude with a superiority complex.  It doesn't really matter because the story itself is ridiculous and it makes this film fail miserably.

The books that this flick is based on are apparently quite popular, but the fantasy realm presented here can't compare to the whimsy of Hogwarts, for example (and I'm not even a huge fan of the Potter films).  Like I said, Columbus actually does a fairly admirable job in the direction, but this was painful to sit through.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - The Greatest

The Greatest (2010)

Starring Carey Mulligan, Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon, Johnny Simmons, Zoë Kravitz, Aaron Johnson, and Michael Shannon

Directed by Shana Feste

Calling your movie The Greatest is really just asking for trouble.  The reviewers could just pounce all over your flick and trash it.  Fortunately, first-time writer-director Shana Feste has crafted a rather beautiful film here that, while it has its minor faults, is full of some great performances including another star-making turn from Carey Mulligan.

The Greatest begins with young high school couple Rose (Mulligan) and Bennett (Kick-Ass's Aaron Johnson) in a state of undress.  They'd only been dating each other for mere weeks, but they'd been pining after each other secretly for four years of high school.  After they sleep with each other for the first time consummating that unrequited love, Bennett drives Rose home and just as he begins to tell her he loves her, their car is involved in a horrific collision.  Bennett dies at the scene.

Some time passes and Rose shows up on the doorstep of Bennett's parents, Allen (Brosnan) and Grace Brewster (Sarandon).  She reveals that she is pregnant with Bennett's child and needs assistance with her pregnancy.  The Brewster household, however, has not quite come to terms with Bennett's death with each family member, including the Brewsters' other son, Ryan (Johnny Simmons), dealing with the tragedy in various ways.  The introduction of Rose into the Brewsters' lives causes each of them to examine their own grief in ways that couldn't possibly imagine.

Sounds like fun, right?  It's not a bed of roses and, at times, the script just seems too convenient.  Everything comes together much too cleanly and quickly in the end.  There's a character that befriends the Brewsters' son Ryan whose storyline comes to an awkward conclusion.  Michael Shannon's role as the driver who hits Bennett's car is quite awkward.

All these faults, however, are overshadowed by some amazing performances that elevate this film to a level infinitely better than it deserves to be.  First and foremost, Carey Mulligan is a star.  She just shines onscreen.  There's not a false note in her performance and I think her role here is better than her Oscar-nominated turn in An Education.

Susan Sarandon is also quite good here.  As a mother who simply longs to have her baby back, she resents Rose for entering their lives.  She wants no pity from the outside world, but, at the same time, she cannot let go of her dead son in the slightest. 

Pierce Brosnan's Allen, on the other hand, refuses to talk about his son.  Brosnan really surprised me here.  He creates a rigid, emotionless persona in Allen, but this only causes the inevitable break-down to be that much more effective.  Similarly, young Johnny Simmons was gripping as the son who masks his pain in drugs.  There's something about men crying onscreen that can ring incredibly false, but both of these actors (one who's been around quite a while and one who is just starting out) really raise the bar.   

I recognize that this film isn't perfect.  It's perhaps a tad too trite and absolutely comes together much too cleanly in the end, but this tale of grief, pain, and, ultimately, forgiveness and love is something I highly recommend.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

The Ghost Writer (2010)

starring Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Kim Cattrall, and Olivia Williams

Directed by Roman Polanski

Roman Polanski may not be the most well-regarded man...and rightly so.  But in terms of his films, I think he is quite the talented director.  Rosemary's Baby is one of my favorite films of all time.

Unfortunately, The Ghost Writer just can't compare with that near masterpiece, and Polanski as the co-screenwriter is partly to blame.  This film had some of the most ridiculous dialog I've heard in quite a while.  When you have, for all intents and purposes, a mature thriller that is aimed at intelligent adults, you need to have dialog that will not cause me to laugh out loud.  Unfortunately, The Ghost Writer is sometimes hilariously inept at showcasing believable conversations.

Ewan McGregor is The Ghost (his character is never named), a writer called in to help pen the memoirs of British politician Adam Lang (Brosnan) after Lang's first ghost writer mysteriously turns up dead, washed up along the shores in a small New England town.  As is the case in most political thrillers, things are not as they seem and twists and turns are inevitable.

McGregor and Brosnan are quite good in the flick, but their female counterparts, Kim Cattrall and Olivia Williams don't step up to the plate, with Cattrall sporting one of the silliest off-and-on British accents I've heard in my many years of movie-watching and Williams being an emotional blank slate.  Plus, while the plot itself was interesting enough and Polanski did a more than adequate job of filming it (there were a couple of really neat shots), in the end the film just didn't excite me one bit.  It was all just kinda blah.  And when blah's the best you can do, it doesn't incite much emotion from me one way or the other.

The RyMickey Rating: C