Movie Review - Cell

Cell (2016)

John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Isabelle Fuhrman, Owen Teague, and Stacy Keach

Directed by Tod Williams

Since I'd read Stephen King's book, I figured I'd give the cinematic adaptation of Cell a try, but it's lack of theatrical release beyond a theater or two certainly didn't instill confidence in its quality...and a viewing of the film showed that the quality simply wasn't there.  The tale of a bizarre epidemic that turns anyone who uses a cell phone into zombie-like creatures could've been a telling take on our electronics-reliant culture, but this piece co-written by King himself isn't the least bit bitingly relevant nor horrifically scary.  In fact, the only thing horrific about it is the hugely incapable direction by Tod Williams who takes moments that could be frightening and ruins them with flourishes of weirdly unnecessary slow motion or inadequately timed jump scares.  Most of the cast is fine, but John Cusack as a father desperately searching for his son in the midst of the chaos couldn't be less emotionally invested it seems -- which is odd seeing as how he's a producer of this.  This one's just a waste of time.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Chi-Raq

Chi-Raq (2015)

Starring Teyonah Parris, Nick Cannon, Angela Bassett, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Wesley Snipes, and Jennifer Hudson

Directed by Spike Lee

***This film is currently streaming via Amazon Prime***

At its heart, Chi-Raq means well as it attempts -- without any modicum of nuance or subtlety -- to detail the plight of inner city violence, but director and co-writer Spike Lee's joint ultimately can't balance its tone veering sharply from comedy to tragedy and back again without any clear path.  While the flick isn't without merit, by the time the film's ridiculous (and unintentionally funny) ending rolls around, Chi-Raq has wasted any good will we in the audience may have granted it as we walk away feeling that it unfortunately disappoints despite an admirable conceit.

Cleverly updating the ancient Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes to modern-day gang-plagued Chicago, Chi-Raq begins with a violent shooting at a nightclub where rapper Chi-Raq (Nick Cannon) is performing in front of a crowd including his girlfriend Lysistrata (Teyonah Parris).  Shortly thereafter, the young daughter of Irene (Jennifer Hudson) is killed in the streets by a stray bullet when the purple-coded gang of Chi-Raq tries to retaliate for the nightclub shooting against the orange-coded gang of Cyclops (Wesley Snipes).  [Yes, the gangs have names, but they're slipping my mind at the moment.]  Lysistrata is a bit distraught following the murder of the young girl and, after speaking with the wise and older teacher-figure Miss Helen (Angela Bassett), she decides to bring the women of Chicago together and withhold sex from their men until they come to peace with each other.

At its heart (and in its basic sex strike center), Chi-Raq works as an intriguing update with Lee and his co-screenwriter Kevin Willmott instituting a rhyming nomenclature reminiscent of Shakespearean work (and modern-day rap, I guess).  However, the rest of the updating falls short because Lee as a director and writer can't grasp a proper tone.  We're given a somewhat powerful and lengthy sermon about gun violence by a preacher played by John Cusack and then mere scenes later an elderly white man is seen lustfully straddling an antique war cannon as he shouts racial epithets and deviant sexual remarks at Lysistrata in what one can only assume was Lee's attempt at comedy.  Characters are one-note caricatures as opposed to well-rounded individuals and any emotional connection to them is lost by their disappointingly written stories.

Fortunately, Teyonah Parris as the lead Lysistrata is impressive, following on the heels of an equally entertaining (and RyMickey Award-honored) performance in 2014's Dear White People.  Parris is the only character (and actor) able to deftly balance the comedic and dramatic aspects of the plot, shining brightly on both sides of the tale.  When Parris is onscreen, the film has a bit of a light emanating from it -- unfortunately, there are other aspects of this tale that simply don't work as well.

I'll give Spike Lee credit in that he really does attempt to place the blame on the violence in African American neighborhoods on a variety of reasons with heavy emphasis on black culture itself perpetuating the notion that this particular community can't better themselves.  This aspect of the film is perhaps most meaningful which is why it's all the more unfortunate that when he lays blame (perhaps justly so) on white society, he depicts them as comic, eccentric kooks.  There was great promise in Chi-Raq that is squandered too often.  In better hands, this Chi-Raq could've been something powerful.  Instead it just holds the promise of being something powerful which makes it even more sad.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Love & Mercy

Love & Mercy (2015)

Starring John Cusack, Paul Dano, Elizabeth Banks, and Paul Giamatti

Directed by Bill Pohlad

Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys was a bit of a songwriting savant making the surf-centric group one of the most popular of the 1960s.  However, Wilson led a troubled life likely brought on by his father's disappointment in him despite his son's great success.  Following a panic attack on a plane, Wilson stops touring and spends his time developing what he thought would be the greatest album ever made -- Pet Sounds.  His intense focus on the album lost him favor with his fellow group members and began the downward spiral in the relationship with his wife.  A few decades later in the 1980s, Wilson finds himself under the care of abusive therapist Eugene Landy (Paul Giamatti), but begins to fall for car saleswoman Melinda Ledbetter (Elizabeth Banks) who feels that Wilson is being manipulated and over-medicated by Landy so that he can have control over Wilson's fortune.

The story of Love & Mercy spans both eras of Wilson's life with Paul Dano taking on the singer in the 1960s and John Cusack playing him in the 1980s.  The film's clever balancing act of showing us two aspects of the singer's life makes this biographical flick a lot more interesting than I ever thought possible with both eras getting equal play and sharing equal amounts of gravitas.  Dano rather astutely shows us the downward spiral Wilson experienced, while Cusack does a nice job of playing a man desperately trying to break out of his rigidly structured life set forth by his supposed caretaker.

The real star of the show here, though, is Elizabeth Banks in what is really a break-out role for her as the elder Wilson's girlfriend Melinda.  Banks takes what could have certainly been a throwaway role and gives Melinda depth, strength, and conviction that I wasn't expecting in the slightest.  While it's true that much of her role is reactionary to Wilson or Landy's actions, Banks imbues Melinda with so much intelligence behind her eyes.  There could have been a huge amount of sentimentality or sheer mushiness in a role that requires an actress to "save her beau" from himself, but Banks tells us more from her heartfelt, nervous, contemplative gazes than I've seen in many other roles this year.  It's truly a stellar performance and one that captivated me from the moment she stepped onscreen.  If anything, it was slightly detrimental to the earlier Brian Wilson story because Banks is so good here that I wanted the story to pivot back to her.

Love & Mercy is a nicely directed, nicely written film that definitely deserved some awards attention, but failed to garner any.  If anything, see it for Elizabeth Banks who proves that she's much more of a talent than many of us thought, but even taking Banks out of the equation, the flick is a biopic that lacks much of the sentimental gooeyness that often accompanies the genre.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Maps to the Stars

Maps to the Stars (2015)

Starring Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska, John Cusack, Evan Bird, Olivia Williams, and Robert Pattinson

Directed by David Cronenberg

Havana Segrand (Julianne Moore) is an aging Hollywood starlet who is desperate to remain relevant by starring in a remake of one of her deceased actress mother's movies.  She's having difficulty with the notion, however, as she's currently in therapy with Dr. Stafford Weiss (John Cusack) dealing with repressed memories of her mother physically and sexually abusing her.  Stafford's family has its own issues -- his movie star tween son Benjie (Evan Bird) is just coming out of rehab for drug abuse and starring in the sequel to his mega hit with his wife Christina (Olivia Williams) negotiating a major multi-million dollar paycheck which is certainly contingent on Benjie staying sober.  Meanwhile, sullen Agatha (Mia Wasikowska) has traveled to Los Angeles from Florida and gets a job as the personal assistant to Havana, but she's hiding a secret connection to the Weiss family that may create havoc upon her return to California.

A David Cronenberg film (which essentially means that weirdness may take center stage at some point), Maps to the Stars is a darkly comic tale about Hollywood that I found surprisingly enjoyable.  Yes, it doesn't exactly reinvent the wheel in terms of its skewering of Big Name Actors and Television Psychologists, but the flick is aided by some really great performances, particularly that of Julianne Moore who embodies the role of an L.A. ditzy actress with such aplomb that you can't help but be impressed.  With John Cusack's best role in a while coupled with a solid turn from young Evan Bird, Maps to the Stars is able to really shine thanks to the acting on display.

The film does falter a bit towards the end when Agatha's secrets begin to reveal themselves and take hold of the Weiss family.  With a genuinely fantastic first two-thirds, I must say I grew a bit disappointed at the conclusion because the movie was so thoroughly enjoyable in its balance of quirky humor and depressing pathos up until that point.  Still, Maps to the Stars proves to be an intriguing film that certain connoisseurs may find appealing.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Anastasia

Anastasia (1997)

Featuring the vocal talents of Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Christopher Lloyd, Hank Azaria, Bernadette Peters, Kirsten Dunst, and Angela Lansbury

Directed by Don Bluth and Gary Goldman

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

First, let's dispel the notion that Anastasia is a Disney movie.  Upon its release in 1997 and in subsequent years after, the public often assumes that this Don Bluth/Gary Goldman directed feature is a Disney film.  Admittedly, the film arrived at the end of Disney's 1990s animation renaissance and Bluth and Goldman tailored the flick to mirror Disney's successes in that era.  Our title character looks like a mash-up of Ariel and Belle.  The film opens with a song sung by the townsfolk.  The typical fairy tale storyline is certainly present.  But Anastasia is not a Disney film.

That being said, this flick is actually better than I remember it being and, with the exception of one fairly major problem area, Anastasia is a success.  Granted, it simplifies the tale of the Russian Romanov family whose dynasty was overthrown by public revolt, but considering this is a film aimed at children, I'm okay with that notion.  The film weaves its tale around Anya (voiced by Meg Ryan), a teen girl who ten years prior showed up at an orphanage unaware of who she was or how she became abandoned.  It turns out that Anya is the only surviving daughter of the Romanov clan, but she has no clue of her legacy.  Out for a quick buck, young Dimitri (John Cusack) and older Vladimir (Kelsey Grammer) have set out to find a young girl who can pass for the missing Anastasia and present her to the girl's grandmother -- the Dowager Empress Marie (Angela Lansbury) -- to earn reward money.  Little do Dimitri and Vladimir know that Anya truly is Anastasia.

I must admit that I liked the plot above.  I found the premise intriguing and the internal conflicts of the above characters surprisingly mature for a film of this type.  Unfortunately, feeling the need to spice up the plot, the film flounders hugely by throwing in an unnecessary villain in Rasputin (Christopher Lloyd).  Here, Rasputin has sold his soul to the devil and is essentially dead and living in hell where is various body parts fall off for purportedly comedic effect.  Rasputin's one mission in life is to end the Romanov blood line and he'll utilize a variety of witchcraft and sorcery from his underground lair in order to achieve this.  The film doesn't need him whatsoever.  There's plenty of surprisingly emotional conflict to be had without his fake magical powers.  By placing Rasputin at the crux of the flick's denouement, the film falters greatly and ends in a disappointing fashion.

Animation-wise the film is solid, but I don't think it can really compare to the Disney films of the era (although I'll soon find that out as we continue on our Disney Discussion journey).  However, I appreciated the voice acting, particularly that of John Cusack who admittedly isn't doing much else other than being the stuttering John Cusack who we all know, but for some reason proves successful.  I found the songs and lyrics by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty quite good as well and much better than I remembered them being.  While it's certainly true the songwriters and screenwriters are following the Disney formula, it's a formula that works.

I must say that I didn't go into this expecting to enjoy it at all, but I found Anastasia a surprisingly solid animated film with an admittedly major flaw.  Remove that and the flick would've been great, but with it, it just ends up lukewarm.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - Grand Piano

Grand Piano (2014)

Starring Elijah Wood, John Cusack, and Kerry Bishé

Directed by Eugenio Mira

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

I must say that as someone who plays the piano, the concept of Grand Piano is a little bit frightening.  A concert pianist named Tom Selznick (Elijah Wood), who abandoned performing for several years, is making a return to the stage in a tribute concert to his recently deceased mentor.  As he sits down to play the show, he discovers as he turns the pages of his music that someone has left threatening remarks all over his piece.  When the red dot of a sniper's gun then shows up on his hand, panic sets in as Tom plays a cat and mouse game with this crazed classical music fan who says if he plays a wrong note he'll not only kill Tom, but also his wife (Kelly Bishé) in front of a packed house.

Grand Piano is quite the Hitchcockian piece -- a descriptor that I don't like to throw around too much out of reverence for the great director.  With very little blood, gore, or language, director Eugenio Mira and writer Damien Chazelle have created a nifty little thriller that takes place mostly on one set and mostly in real time.  (Speaking of time, after four minutes of opening and twelve (!!) minutes of closing credits, Grand Piano really only runs a brisk 74 minutes long.)  While there are surely moments of overly exaggerated tension (and also some moments of implausibility), I couldn't help but be swept into the menacing tone.  Elijah Wood is quite good as the virtuoso pianist -- although I found myself saying that there was no way someone could talk and play such complicated pieces at the same time.  Still, the director builds enough good will throughout that I pushed that aside quite quickly.

Perhaps I'm giving this one a little bit of leeway since I'm a pianist myself and the nightmarish concept is a bit thrilling because of my connection with the instrument.  However, I don't think that's the case.  I go back to the notion that this is the kind of movie Hitchcock would be making were the director still around today and the fact that it's executed so well is a breath of fresh air.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - The Frozen Ground

The Frozen Ground (2013)

Starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, and Vanessa Hudgens

Directed by Scott Walker

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

Poor Nicolas Cage.  He (along with perhaps Cuba Gooding, Jr.) has certainly become the butt of jokes about what NOT to do with your career after you've won an Oscar.  Cage has made low budget B-movies his bread and butter over the last five years so much so that people seem to have forgotten that he could actually be taken seriously.  Perhaps The Frozen Ground was Cage's attempt to show that he isn't the joke people thought he was.  While he certainly doesn't embarrass himself here, Cage doesn't exactly redeem himself fully as Alaska State Trooper Jack Halcombe who is investigating a series of murders of young women in Anchorage in the early 1980s.

Admittedly, Cage isn't solely to blame for his lack of restitution.  First time director and screenwriter Scott Walker's virginal chops are evident as he can't quite craft characters and dialog that ring true or feel fully developed.  While he certainly is respectful of the true story upon which this is based, there's a grittiness that's missing despite his attempts to achieve it.  Admittedly, part of the issue is that Vanessa Hudgens simply isn't believable as a prostitute who is the only victim to escape the clutches of serial killer Robert Hansen (John Cusack).  When she dances on a stripper pole or snorts coke, I found myself laughing when I know I shouldn't.  Once again, like Cage, I'm not 100% sure it's her fault.  As an actress, Hudgens fights an uphill battle trying to rid herself of the "Disney image," but with the right script, she may be able to get there (although I'm also not quite sure she has the ability to successfully blossom into a respectable actress either).

Perhaps I'm being a little harsher on The Frozen Ground than I should because the film is certainly watchable with a storyline that consistently builds tension.  The true life aspect of the whole thing adds a disturbing element that gives us a rooting interest in the characters.  Scott Walker hasn't completely struck out with his first film, but he needs to up the ante a bit for any future projects on his horizon.

The RyMickey Rating:  C  

Movie Review - Lee Daniels' The Butler

Lee Daniels' The Butler (2013)

Starring Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, David Oyelowo, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Lenny Kravitz, Terrence Howard, Robin Williams, John Cusack, James Marsden, Liev Schreiber, Alan Rickman, Jane Fonda, Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Redgrave, and Mariah Carey

Directed by Lee Daniels

Can someone please explain to me how Lee Daniels' The Butler was ever in the running for any category at the Oscars?  With an absolutely horrendous script by Danny Strong, pompously self-important direction by Lee Daniels, and overacting out the wazoo by nearly everyone involved, it's mind-boggling to me that people actually thought this movie was good in any way.  Incredibly heavy-handed in its way of trying to pigeonhole seemingly every important civil rights moment from the 1950s-80s into a two hour film, the film plays like a low-rent version of Forrest Gump as famous Hollywood celebrity after famous Hollywood celebrity pops up playing famous political figure after famous political figure.  And then, rather obnoxiously, the film ends with the triumphant crowning of Barack Obama as President signifying that "hope and change" have come and all is right in the world.  The final ten minutes of this movie had me so aggravated that they soured the entirety of the rest of the film (which, as stated, really wasn't that good to begin with).

Ugh.

Based on a true story (although changed DRASTICALLY in order to make things much more dramatic), The Butler centers around Cecil Gaines (Forest Whitaker), a man who escaped Southern slavery in the 1920s and became well known around Washington, D.C., as a fantastic server/butler in local bars and lounges around the big city.  After catching the eye of someone who worked in the White House, Gaines snags a job as a butler where he stays on to serve eight presidents.  The film attempts to balance Gaines' workplace with his family life, but the transitions between the two are always awkward and oftentimes incredibly heavyhanded.  For, you see, while his professional life is moving along swimmingly, his home life leaves much to be desired.  His wife Gloria (Oprah Winfrey) is tired of her husband putting his focus on his job and abandoning her and their two sons so she fills the void she feels with alcohol and another man (Terrence Howard).  Meanwhile, Gaines' older son (David Oyelowo) is heading to college where he finds himself becoming involved in Woolworth counter sit-ins, Freedom Bus Riders, Martin Luther King's assassination, the Black Panthers, and rallies to free Nelson Mandela.  All this stuff -- and this son never even existed.  That's right.  It's simply the screenwriter's ploy to hammer home what they believe to be significant moments in the Civil Rights Movement.  There's certainly no denying each of these events' importance.  However, none of these moments are ever given anything more than snippets of attention.  Giving each of these pivotal aspects of the movement such short shrift is a disservice.

On Oscar morning, everyone was shocked that Oprah didn't garner a nomination, but her attempt at halfway channeling Mo'Nique's intense performance from Precious was laughable.  Forest Whitaker is as flat as could be, exuding an overwhelming sense of blandness.  Each and every presidential figure plays more like a really good impressionist you'd see on the Vegas strip than a person.  Lee Daniels really failed to reel in a good performance from anyone with the exception of Lenny Kravitz as another butler in the White House and David Oyelowo who, despite the horribly written role as Gaines' older son, does try his best with his ridiculous part.

Lee Daniels' The Butler begins with Cecil Gaines as a young child working on a cotton plantation and the film's first ten minutes echo similar sentiments espoused in Steve McQueen's 12 Years a Slave.  However, there's simply no comparison and to have even placed The Butler in the same ballpark as 12 Years a Slave in the lead-up to awards season is an indignation that I'm trying to right with this review.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - The Numbers Station

The Numbers Station (2013)

Starring John Cusack, Malin Akerman, and Liam Cunningham

Directed by Kasper Barfoed

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

When CIA agent Emerson Kent (John Cusack) screws up a black ops mission, he's relegated to protecting code operator Katherine (Malin Ackerman) at a remote CIA radio broadcast station in England.  At this numbers station, Katherine sits in a broadcast booth and spouts series upon series of numbers which are codes containing information regarding missions for agents in the field.  Emerson and Katherine share the station with two other folks just like themselves, working on opposite shifts.  However, one morning, upon Emerson and Katherine's arrival, they find themselves being shot at by a sniper in a radio tower.  Quickly hustling into the numbers station, the two discover that their predecessors have been compromised and that their last act was unknowingly dispensing codes that told CIA agents to commit some horrible acts.  With that sniper outside trying to make his way in and those field agents getting ready to carry out their treasonous acts, Emerson and Katherine are working against the clock to get things right and save themselves.

What's most interesting about The Numbers Station is that, for the most part, this is a two-actor affair.  John Cusack and Malin Ackerman are onscreen together for most of the film and, considering what some may consider the "B-levelness" of the two stars, they more than hold their own with Ackerman proving to be the big surprise to me.  Cusack is seemingly playing a guy we've seen him play before, showing very little emotion as is often the case with him and his roles in the past decade.  Ackerman, however, gets us to feel for her character's plight despite the under-developed role she's been given.

Ultimately, what holds The Numbers Station back from being really good is a script that truly intrigues. Yes, the premise is moderately unique and the concept of never leaving the numbers station once we're inside it is an added twist, the claustrophobia doesn't really add to the tension we should be feeling.  Fortunately (and smartly), the film clocks in at under ninety minutes, so we're never really bored by it, but we do find ourselves wishing for a bit more pizzazz.  (You can certainly tell it was made with a low budget mindset.)

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

On an unrelated note, if you haven't checked out Malin Ackerman's sitcom Trophy Wife on ABC, give it a look.  It started out rather unimpressive and I admittedly gave up on it, but its creative juices began flowing about four episodes in and it's definitely become one of the more underrated comedies on network tv at the moment. 

Movie Review - The Paperboy

The Paperboy (2012)

Starring Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey, David Oyelowo, John Cusack, and Nicole Kidman

Directed by Lee Daniels

I think it's extremely important that you know what you're getting into should you decide to watch The Paperboy, the latest film from Precious director Lee Daniels.  This flick is pure trash...and it knows it.  Reveling in the grainy look and feel of a 1970s low-budget Roger Corman flick, Daniels seems to be intending to make pure pulp and while he succeeds, the problem is that nobody really likes those types of movies for anything longer than about sixty minutes.  At that point, the cheesy music and the over-the-top (or just plain awful) acting wear thin and you find yourself wondering when the hell this piece of crap is going to be over.  That's kind of the case here, too.  I dug the retro vibe (complete with cuts made to replicate missing frames of film), but the story peters out.

The year is 1969 and we find ourselves in the steamy city of Lately, Florida, where a man named Hillary Van Wetter (John Cusack) is on Death Row for killing a local sheriff.  Newspaper reporter Ward Jansen (Matthew McConaughey) grew up in Lately and finds himself returning to his hometown to investigate what could have been a wrongful conviction for Van Wetter.  While at home, Ward and his younger brother Jack (Zac Efron) meet up with the beautiful, though incredibly trashy, Charlotte Bless (Nicole Kidman) who has been communicating with Van Wetter via mail for several months and now finds herself engaged to the man without ever having seen him in person.  Charlotte is sex (or sleaze) personified, but the young Jack instantly falls for her "womanly" charms, finding it difficult to go through days without seeing her despite the fact that the feeling is never reciprocated in his direction from Charlotte.

I will admit that I give Nicole Kidman some credit here for slumming it and she really comes across as the most believable and even honest character of anyone.  She embraces the slutty sleaziness and creates a character that is quite memorable.  As for the others in the cast, they don't fare nearly as well.  Efron's actually fine, but I thought maybe we'd see some dramatic stretching for him in this role and his character is unfortunately a bit one-note.  McConaughey really isn't doing anything we haven't seen from him before and the journey his character undergoes is ludicrously ridiculous.  And the less said about John Cusack the better.  He's definitely in the running for Worst Performance of the Year.

At its heart, The Paperboy is a young man's coming of age story...because once you get peed on by a chick, you're simply not a kid anymore.  You're officially a grown up.  Yep, in perhaps the film's most talked about moment, Kidman's Charlotte pees on Efron's Jack after the young guy gets ravaged by a swarm of jellyfish.  And that, folks, is the kind of movie you're getting with The Paperboy.  It's weird, off-the-wall, and at times enjoyable.  But then things go over-the-edge (as in the aforementioned scene) and you just shake your head in disbelief at what's unfolding.  Sleaze and trashiness are fine but in mild doses, and this one lingers a bit too long (with a final act that just doesn't really work).

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The Raven

The Raven (2012)

Starring John Cusack, Alice Eve, Luke Evans, and Brendan Gleeson

Directed by James McTeigue

I have to be perfectly blunt -- The Raven never once captured my attention, so as I watched this thing, I found myself fading in and out of cognizance.  Oddly enough, I didn't even have my computer to detract my attention.  No, instead, I'd find my eyes wandering over to the ornaments on the Christmas tree or to figuring out why the Playstation controller wouldn't charge when plugged in to the system.  I don't think it's that The Raven is horrendously awful or poorly directed or horribly acted, but something just didn't click for me with this period piece that creates a murder mystery in the days immediately prior to writer Edgar Allen Poe's death.  

Admittedly, I think part of the problem is that I'm not exactly the biggest John Cusack fan and placing him in a period piece as the famous horror author didn't sit well with me from the get-go.  He doesn't exude 19th century anything, so I couldn't really buy him as the gothic writer.  It doesn't help that Poe is being set up in an off-putting modern-in-tone way by some madman who is using Poe's writings as a means of creating "copycat" murders throughout the town of Baltimore.  Maybe something like this would've been possible in 1849, but I found the whole thing incredibly unbelievable.  There was never any sense of tension derived at all.  [So maybe it was poorly directed and horribly acted after all.]

Once again, the grade below is possibly unfair and unjust, but the plain fact is that I tried to give this one a shot and since I made it all the way through, I feel that the thing's gotta be graded.  Maybe you'll love it (and it wasn't the worst thing I've seen this year), but this one didn't work for me.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Hot Tub Time Machine

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Starring John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry, Crispin Glover, and Chevy Chase

Directed by Steve Pink

Not once did I laugh while watching Hot Tub Time Machine.  Not once did I even let out a mild smirk.  Raunchy comedies that derive their humor from drugs and alcohol are always a tough sell for me and this one is no exception.  The only thing saving this from dipping as low as the awful The Other Guys is that all the actors here at least attempt to go for the comedy.  John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson, and Rob Corddry as the quartet of guys who travel back to the eighties thanks to some crazy time warping hot tub tried their hardest to get me to laugh.  Unfortunately, I didn't.

And that's all I've got to say about this one.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - 2012 (2009)

2012 (2009)

Starring John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Thandie Newton, and Woody Harrelson

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Most disaster movies are horrendous.  Characters have one specific attribute or mannerism to distinguish them from the hordes of other characters, none of whom you can even remember their names after the movie is over.  Crowd scenes are set up with the sole purpose of creating mass destruction.  Dialog is silly.

All of that is true in 2012, but for some insane reason, I wasn't the least bit bored watching this.  Yes, I laughed out loud at the ridiculous first ninety minutes when loving father John Cusack (as I mentioned above, character names are irrelevant here) and his family utilize a variety of modes of transportation to narrowly escape exploding volcanoes, huge tremors, and giant clouds of smoke.  Yes, the scene where the President of the United States gets mowed down by an aircraft carrier was inane.  Sure, the scientific technobabble blabbed by geologist Chiwetel Ejiofer was mind-numbingly ludicrous. 

But, this movie is what it is.  It's a disaster movie along the same lines as The Poseidon Adventure and Armageddon, and while no one would call those two films cinematic masterpieces, I'm up for their silly fun every now and again.  (Unfortunately, the special effects in those two aforementioned flicks were much better than what was on display here.  In fact -- and this is a huge detriment to this film -- the fx were really awful.)

Certainly helping 2012 is the fact that I actually enjoyed watching several of the actors (despite their idiotic dialog and the impossible situations they finagle out of).  Cusack, Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, and Thandie Newton all did the very best they could with what they were given.  Certainly, there were some actors -- Oliver Platt and Woody Harrelson -- who chewed up the scenery with their over-the-top antics, but overall, the acting was better than it needed to be.

Is 2012 a good movie?  No.  Will I ever watch it again?  Probably not.  Would I recommend this two-hour-and-forty-minute flick to anyone?  Not a chance.

But I still had a moderately enjoyable time watching it.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-