Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
Starring Shia LaBoeuf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, and Patrick Dempsey
Directed by Michael Bay
I felt this incredible sense of promise during the first ten minutes of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. The year is 1969 and Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin having just landed on the moon are given a top secret mission to explore some unknown object that had landed there eight years prior. They uncover some weird humongous spacecraft that ends up belonging to the Autobot "race" of Transformers.
And then the movie jumps to modern times...and the movie falls apart and turns into just as awful a piece of junk as the second movie in this heinously bad series. You don't need to know anything other than the fact that the good Autobots are trying to save the Earth from the bad Decepticons. Nothing else matters because nothing happens. And it still clocks in at over two-and-a-half hours.
The second flick of the series got the rather dubious honor of being one of the worst movies I saw in 2009 and I would venture to guess that Dark of the Moon will fall into that same category. There's just nothing good here. Subpar acting, ridiculously inane battle sequences, and a visual color palette that is nothing but metallic gray.
God...I could go on and on, but I despise this series and I think that in the future, I won't subject myself to any more of them.
The RyMickey Rating: D-
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