The 2011 RyMickey Awards - Worst Performance of the Year

Let's just get the worst out of the way right off the bat.  This category is open to all -- male or female.  The only stipulation is that you performed so tremendously awful that you made the filmmaking experience painful while watching your movie.

Worst Performance of 2011

#5 - Glenn Close -- Albert Nobbs

Yes, this was an Academy Award-nominated performance, but Glenn Close as the title character is so one-note, emotionless, and all-out boring that she alone made this film a chore to sit through.

#4 - Taylor Lautner -- Abduction

Constantly mugging for the camera and overly mannered, he's the opposite of charming and charismatic.  Lautner is simply painful.

#3 - Kathy Bates - Midnight in Paris

While most everyone in Midnight in Paris gives believable performances, Kathy Bates is so over-the-top and "fake" that she does the worst thing an actress can do -- make you remember you're watching a movie as opposed to a real story unfolding in front of your eyes.

#2 - Jordana Spiro - Trespass

I realize this is a movie that was released in only ten theaters and next to no one has even heard of it, but a bad performance is a bad performance and Jordana Spiro gives a whopper of disappointment as a coked-out former stripper.  Granted, her role isn't exactly pivotal to the plot, but that even makes it worse since I felt they could have just cut her out of the whole thing and had a slightly better film.

#1 - January Jones - Unknown

Wooden.  No other words are really needed to describe Ms. Jones's performance in the action flick Unknown.  If you go to Google Images and throw "January Jones Unknown" into the search engine, you'll see the minute range of emotions on display from this "actress" in this film.  Failing to show emotion or deliver a believable line reading, if this is the way Jones acts on Mad Men, there's no reason I need to add that show to my Netflix queue.

Previous Worst Performance Awards

2010

2009

The 2011 RyMickey Awards

Last year, I started the RyMickey Awards in March, so I'm just a little bit behind this year...but only a little.  Starting tomorrow and continuing throughout the next few weeks, we'll be exploring what I felt was the best of 2011.  2011 contained a lot of films I liked, but very few that I can truly say I loved which, admittedly, is probably one of the reasons I've waited so long to start these awards.  Lacking a real "wow" moment in nearly every category, the motivation wasn't there to kick these things off.  But kick them off I must and you'll see that there are several flicks now available to view at home that are well worth checking out.

So, we'll get things started tomorrow...finally...

Movie Review - We Need to Talk About Kevin

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

Starring Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, Jasper Newell, and Ezra Miller

Directed by Lynne Ramsay

A woman loving life in her late twenties/early thirties perhaps reluctantly decides to settle down with someone with whom she's fallen in love.  She gets pregnant, but finds herself not feeling the maternal instinct kick in like other moms-to-be.  In the back of her mind, though, she thinks that maybe when she finally gives birth, she'll finally experience what she's "supposed to feel."  However, that innate propensity to love your offspring never kicks in for her and although she attempts to bond, it's obvious to her and obvious to her child as he grows older that this young being was never wanted.

While this all sounds like an impossibility, I'd have to imagine that it occurs more often than we'd think and We Need to Talk About Kevin explores this seldom discussed psychological phenomenon which, in this story's case, comes with great and horrific ramifications.  For Eva (Tilda Swinton), she could have never imagined that her difficult relationship with her son Kevin (Ezra Miller as a teenager and Jasper Newell as a young boy) would result in him committing the unthinkable act of going on a murderous school rampage days before his sixteenth birthday, but their tumultuous relationship appears to have been the impetus for just that.  

Fret not, I'm not spoiling anything with this important "reveal" above.  Director and co-screenwriter Lynne Ramsay pieces together Eva's life like a puzzle jumping around and sometimes staying with scenes for mere seconds before jumping to another.  Admittedly, this technique, while interesting, is off-putting at first if only because as the film progresses, Ramsay decides to stay with moments longer, trying to tell a story rather than trying to showcase a "directorial flourish."  The opening act, unfortunately, starts things off as more of a director's showcase instead of placing the story center stage which is pivotal in a film that is incredibly reliant on shaping complicatedly distraught and disturbed characters in order to progress the tale.  Couple this quick-cutting, jump-editing technique with Ramsay's near-incessant and blatantly obvious use of "red" to foreshadow Kevin's inevitable attack and I couldn't help but think the director brought this flick down a couple of notches from where it could have ended up.

Tilda Swinton is, as is the case most of the time, truly wonderful.  She can convey an incredible amount of emotion with nary a word.  Her eyes oftentimes appear blank and lifeless, yet on a second glance reveal more of the inner workings of her character than words ever could.  She's coupled onscreen by John C. Reilly as her husband Franklin, the more affable and parental of the two.  Reilly is quite good playing the most dramatic role I've seen him attempt and he manages very well.

The character of Kevin, however, is a bit of an anomaly to me.  I understand that the script wanted to present him as a "problem child" of sorts from the very beginning -- a kid who never received the love he so desperately needed from his mother -- but I couldn't help but think I was watching a modern-day reincarnation of Damien from The Omen.  He does some really whacked-out things (particularly as he grows older) and I just couldn't help but think that these parents wouldn't have been on the same page that something was dreadfully psychologically wrong with him.  Then again, the film is called We Need to Talk About Kevin and there's a difference between "needing to talk about" and actually "talking about" Kevin which I guess explains why their communication is next to nil.  The two young actors who portray Kevin do an admirable job, but I feel like they just weren't given a whole lot to work with beyond "You're a bad kid...don't show any emotions other than pent-up anger."

I'm sure the anticipation of this film may have built up something that couldn't be reached -- and, in fact, I was waiting to see this before starting the annual RyMickey Awards -- but I can't help but think another film released in 2011 about this exact same topic -- Beautiful Boy -- told a better and more realistic story.  Granted, that film dealt entirely with the aftermath of a school shooting whereas We Need to Talk About Kevin deals almost entirely with what comes before such an attack, but the little seen Maria Bello-starring picture deserves a bit more respect than Lynne Ramsay's pic which garnered more acclaim when awards season came around.

The RyMickey Rating:  C+

Movie Review - Alien: Resurrection

--Alien Week--

Please note that all "Alien Week" film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Starring Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, and Ron Perlman

Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet

The Theatrical Version was watched as the director prefers the original cut.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  After a rousing start with Alien and a terrific follow-up with Aliens, the science fiction horror franchise starring Sigourney Weaver began to falter with Alien 3 and now lands with a horrible thud thanks to Alien: Resurrection, a film that is so tonally different from its predecessors that it's jarring to viewers and almost uncomfortable to sit through.

The blame has to be placed on two people -- screenwriter Joss Whedon and director Jean-Pierre Jeunet.  Whedon -- best known for mixing wry comedy with more dire situations in things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Cabin in the Woods -- is a good writer, but I'm not quite sure he was the right pick to pen an Alien picture.  Previous installments have been über-serious, but this fourth film in which Weaver's Ripley (who died in Alien 3) returns as a human clone developed by the military solely to give birth to alien life forms is too often played for laughs (and with the ludicrous aforementioned premise it's easy to see why they went for the yuks).  Unlike the third film, Whedon at least attempts to create some memorable characters with distinct personalities, but he isn't always successful at crafting anything more than the standard stereotypical machismo-type folks that typically inhabit action films like this.  We're given caricatures instead of "real" people.

Also needing to take a heap of the blame for the film's failure is director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, the helmer behind the fantastical and visually inventive Amelie.  Jeunet doesn't ever really go for scares...and what's an Alien film without scares or at least the imminent threat of scares?  The aliens here are even sometimes played for a laugh and that's almost sacrilegious.  He also fails to get good performances from much of the supporting players, many of whom are asked to play up the humor rather than the sheer terror that should come from killer creatures running rampant in a spaceship.

During the film's second half, the humor gets tossed aside and Jeunet attempts to create an action film (though the scares still remain nonexistent), but he isn't successful in that respect either.  However, it's the combined missteps from both Jeunet and Whedon that make Alien: Resurrection the biggest disappointment thus far in the Alien franchise and an unfortunate coda to the series.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Alien 3

--Alien Week--

Please note that all "Alien Week" film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Alien 3 (1992)

Starring Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, and Lance Henriksen

Directed by David Fincher

The Theatrical Edition was watched as Fincher has never signed off on the Extended Cut.

Blogger won't permit me to type it this way, but the proper title of David Fincher's first time venture into feature film directing should really read Alien to the Third Power.  While I guess it's clever, it almost implies an overabundance of aliens whereas the second outing in this movie series was definitely the one that upped the alien ante.  Alien 3 is rather subdued and oddly bland, lacking any of the excitement or tension that is so prevalent in the first two installments of this series.

As the opening credits sequence rolls, we see that although there were four survivors of the last flick, only Ripley is left alive when their "escape pod" ship lands on a barren penal colony planet.  Although it doesn't appear that an alien is responsible for the deaths of her former friends, we soon discover that there was a stowaway onboard Ripley's ship of the non-humanoid kind and that this alien will soon cause quite a ruckus amongst the men in the prison.

Ultimately, the biggest problem with Alien 3 is that you simply don't grow to care about any of the characters, and as they start getting picked off one by one, their deaths don't resonate with the audience a bit.  The prisoners are all interchangeable with not a single one having a real discernible personality (or at least an interesting discernible personality).  I may have criticized Aliens director-screenwriter James Cameron's lack of believable dialog and sometimes cookie-cutter characterizations, but they're Shakespeare compared to what we're given here. Even Sigourney Weaver's Ripley almost feels as if she's phoning it in if only because her character isn't given a whole lot to do.  I mean, sure, she's given the interesting prospect of being impregnated by the same aliens she's been fighting for years, but the film doesn't explore this interesting twist in a manner that is all that fulfilling.

While David Fincher did give the film a unique look in the Aliens filmography -- opting for more earth-like browns as opposed to the steely, futuristic grays of the other installments -- there's unfortunately nothing visually appealing to gaze upon either.  Apparently the final product was heavily tampered with by the studio and that appears most evident in the lack of visceral tension that Fincher is usually so great at creating -- see Se7en or Panic Room or even The Social Network -- which is necessary in order for a film like this to succeed.

Alien 3 certainly isn't an awful film and it's not even the worst of the series (a bit of foreshadowing there to my thoughts on Alien: Resurrection), but it's a disappointing downturn for this Sigourney Weaver-fronted franchise.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Aliens (Director's Cut)

--Alien Week--

Please note that all "Alien Week" film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Aliens (Director's Cut) (1986)

Starring Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Lance Henrikson, Bill Paxton, and Paul Reiser

Directed by James Cameron

Note: The Director's Cut was watched because it is the preferred cut of James Cameron.

Nearly every review of James Cameron's Aliens starts out with (or eventually gets to) the fact that while the original Alien was a pure "horror" film, the 1986 sequel falls a bit more into the "action" genre.  They don't fault the production for this (in fact, this sequel is better reviewed on Rotten Tomatoes than its predecessor), but they try and make this a known fact.  While I'm not going to try a debunk their take on it, I can't help but mention the fact that Aliens is a movie in which a whole bunch of people are getting killed by a whole bunch of alien life forms in quite bloody ways.  Sure, these people may be holding futuristic machine guns and grenades, but they're still getting their insides gutted open.  So, in conclusion, don't let that "action" genre descriptor lull you in to a false sense of security.

It's fifty-seven years after the first film and Sigourney Weaver's Ellen Ripley -- our lone survivor from the spaceship Nostromo -- has been drifting around in space in a deep hypersleep for nearly six decades.  Picked up by a salvage ship that just so happens to be piloted by her former bosses at Weyland-Yutani (you know, those creeps who wanted her to capture rather than kill the alien in the last film), Ripley finds herself in a rather angsty depression now that she's become aware that everyone she's known (including her daughter) has died in the years she's been presumed dead. [Note:  This familial yearning is a concept that is made much more prevalent in the Director's Cut which gives much more needed gravitas to Ripley's emotional plight.]  Ripley soon discovers that a crew of dozens of families had been sent by Weyland-Yutani back to the planet in which Ripley's initial crew first discovered the aliens in order to form a colony and now this new crew is failing to respond to calls.  Ripley, Weyland-Yutani representative Carter Burke (Paul Reiser), and a dozen or so Marines venture back to the planet in order to find out what has happened to the colonizers...needless to say, those nasty aliens are going to rear their ugly heads.

James Cameron, despite his rather obnoxiously high opinion of himself, is a very solid director, well aware of what it takes to create and build tension which is key in the success of a film such as Aliens.  Much like its predecessor, Cameron allows for the nerve-wracking edginess to build only to fully release once Ripley and the Marines land on the alien-inhabited planet.

Cameron, however, isn't a perfect director despite what his ego may tell him.  Typical of Cameron films, Aliens has two faults that seemingly come with the territory for his films.  First, he's no whiz at crafting dialog.  In fact, it's probably his worst characteristic as a screenwriter.  Here, it's particularly evident in the way the Marines speak to one another.  There were just moments where I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head at the sheer banality of what Cameron was force-feeding the actors to spout.

This lack of believable (or interesting) dialog leads into the second problem which is somewhat typical of Cameron films -- the acting isn't always top notch.  While Weaver is great as is a slimy Paul Reiser in a rather understated "villain" role, nearly all the Marines are so stereotypical "ooh-rah!" over-the-top that I couldn't help but be taken out of the "realism" the movie tries to create.  Bill Paxton, in particular, is really awful, hamming it up in nearly every single scene.  Cameron also, unfortunately, fails to get a good performance from young Carrie Henn in her first (and only) cinematic role.  As Newt, a young girl found by Ripley in the colony after they land, Henn just never inhabited the character to me...but I'm probably being a bit too harsh on the young gal.

It's because of these issues that Aliens doesn't quite match the excellence of Alien even though Cameron's film is actually a bit better paced than its predecessor.  Still, these two films were wonderful franchise starters...it's just a shame that future films couldn't live up to their levels.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Alien

--Alien Week--
Please note that all "Alien Week" film reviews may contain spoilers related to both the film that is being reviewed and other films in the series.

Alien (1979)

Starring Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Veronica Cartwright, Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm, and Yaphet Kotto

Directed by Ridley Scott

The Theatrical Edition rather than the Special Edition was watched as the theatrical cut is the preferred edit of Ridley Scott.

I've always had a certain fondness for the Alien franchise ever since I was scared out of my mind as a nine year-old seeing the creature "first hand" on The Great Movie Ride at the then-named Disney-MGM Studios theme park in Orlando, Florida.  I remember clutching onto my parents as that ride headed through a replica of the spaceship Nostromo with an audio-animatronic figure of female badass Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) shaking as she holds a massive gun on the lookout for the nasty title creature who manages to surprisingly pop out from the ceiling and walls, thus frightening that little nine year-old me and scarring me for, at the very least, the next twenty minutes of my theme park-going experience.  I may not have known about Ridley Scott's Alien at that point in my life, but from that moment on, I became aware of this cinematic science fiction horror flick, and as I have grown older and had the opportunity to watch this classic, I find it nearly impossible not to appreciate the tense and horrifying two hours that slowly unfold onscreen.

Seven people stuck on a spaceship with nowhere to go and a nasty, vicious alien onboard who knows nothing else except to kill.  Sounds like a fun turn of events, but that's the story of Alien in a nutshell.  As our septet begins being picked off one by one by the frightening-looking creature, tension builds in the claustrophobic atmosphere and our crew members begin to slowly turn on one another in order to try and figure out the best way to take down the monster.

This horror film succeeds first and foremost because Ridley Scott takes things slow, gradually ratcheting up the tension and excitement.  As I watched Alien this go-around (for what is probably my fourth or fifth time), I was actually amazed at Scott's pacing throughout the film's first half -- he really takes time to build the atmosphere before he unloads the scares during the movie's last hour.  Some may even feel it's so slow it's boring, but I find it rather refreshing.  Even though he takes his time, Scott always allows a sense of foreboding and eeriness to be prevalent throughout.

Secondly, and what puts this film head over heels above most horror movies, the acting here is of quite a high caliber.  Sigourney Weaver is certainly best known across the world for her role as the headstrong Ripley and there's good reason for that -- she holds our attention and manages to do so even with a hard-edged, sometimes emotionless role.  She's a presence here -- a smart woman who despite her bosses' urges to bring the alien life form back to them has the courage and tenacity to go against their wishes and attempt to eradicate the beast.

And it's certainly not just Weaver who excels.  Her six costars each have crafted their own distinct personalities thanks to a great screenplay from Dan O'Bannon.  None of them disappoint...and neither does the alien itself thanks to the wonderful creature design by H.R. Giger.  It's a menacing beast, made even more frightening by the fact that Ridley Scott keeps him hidden and in the shadows for so long.  While the creature doesn't disappoint when finally seen, the anticipation is a key to the horrors that lie ahead.  When we see the little snake-like monster rip through the chest of an unfortunate Nostromo crew member about an hour in, we soon realize this must be one nasty full-grown alien if a "baby" one looks as horrific as this one does.

The RyMickey Rating:  A-

Alien Week

Starting Monday, leading up to the release of my most anticipated movie of the summer Ridley Scott's Prometheus on Friday, I'll be looking back on the four movies that make up the Alien Quadrilogy.  Will Alien still be my favorite or will Aliens (which tends to be the most highly regarded of the series) win me over?  Will Alien 3 and Alien: Resurrection be just as bad as I remember them?  Find out starting on Monday.

Movie Review - Shame

Shame (2011)

Starring Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan, James Badge Dale, and Nicole Beharie

Directed by Steve McQueen

Shame is perhaps best known as the film in which Michael Fassbender bares all.  For some reason, him going nude got all the press and the movie itself was shafted to a certain extent.  In the end, that's a real shame because Steve McQueen's moving character study about a man's addiction to sex is heartbreaking and touching with a riveting performance from Fassbender and absolutely beautiful direction from McQueen.

The story itself is fairly simple.  As stated above, the film focuses on Brandon Sullivan, a thirtysomething low-level executive in Manhattan who outwardly seems to have everything together, but inwardly finds himself ravaged by his addiction to sex.  Whether it be looking at porn on the internet, hiring a prostitute to fulfill his needs, or simply not being able to make it through the workday without heading into the bathroom to pleasure himself, Brandon has a problem.  And he's well aware of it.  Sex isn't about a "connection" for him...it's about a release that he hopes will be fulfilling, but is always completely empty.

Brandon's not a bad guy, though.  He's good looking and could do seemingly well with women if he wanted, but he is a bit shy which is evident in a lusciously filmed scene about halfway through the movie when Brandon and his co-worker Marianne (a delightful and sexy Nicole Beharie) sit down at a restaurant for a first date.  In a continuous take, we see the two simply talking about the typical "first date" stuff, but we begin to see for the inner workings of Brandon's mind as he explains to Marianne how he never wants to get married and doesn't understand the meaning of monogamy.  It's starting to crystallize in the audience's mind that Brandon, despite his need for sex, is ultimately unable to connect with someone.  His addiction has robbed him from being able to love...yes, that's perhaps an oversimplification of a much larger psychological issue, but that's Brandon's problem at its core.

And not only does this affect Brandon's life sexually, but this inability to love and connect with others also plays a huge role in his relationship with his family including his troubled sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) who, despite Brandon's best efforts, moves into his small, sterile apartment in NYC after a falling-out with her boyfriend.  Sissy herself (whose odd story arc and relationship with Brandon is the one minor problem with the film) isn't without her share of pain (much of it seemingly self-inflicted), but she brings out the worst in Brandon...she makes him feel shameful of his way of life and it ends up spiraling him out of control in ways that I really never saw coming.  Towards the end of the film, Brandon's addiction leads him to places that may shock and appall the audience, but they never once rang untrue or felt unrealistic.

The more I think about Shame, the more I grow to be thoroughly fascinated with what I saw onscreen.  I imagine several scenes will pop up in the "Best Scene" category of the "RyMickey Awards" (coming in June) and I'm sure this film will make an appearance in many other categories including Best Actor for Michael Fassbender.  Admittedly, I went into this without many expectations.  I expected to be bored by the story and bombarded by "shocking moments" simply there to provide unnecessary provocation and titillation.  That wasn't the case in the slightest and that's a huge credit to Mr. Fassbender and director Steve McQueen.

Together, they have crafted a movie that doesn't necessarily provide answers or tie things up in pretty bows, but they have created an intimate character study about a man who knows his faults, attempts to correct them (fully realized in a riveting and heartbreaking scene with the aforementioned Nicole Beharie shortly after their characters' first date), but ultimately doesn't succeed.  Towards the end of the film, Brandon finds himself in the midst of a threesome (which he paid to be a part of) and after focusing initially on the writhing bodies, McQueen plants his camera squarely on Fassbender's face...and in his face and in this moment, we see everything that Brandon is and everything he wishes he could be.  This menage a trois is the furthest thing from a pleasurable experience.  To him, an orgasm is full of pain, anguish, and ultimately self-inflicted shame.

The RyMickey Rating:  A-

Movie Review - Battle Royale

Battle Royale (2000)

Directed by Kinji Fukasaku

I'd heard of Battle Royale for years, but the thoughts of it came to light again after the release of this year's Hunger Games which takes many of this Japanese film's concepts and dilutes them down to a teen-friendly entertainment destination.  While there are certainly differences -- the biggest being that the Hunger Games series spends more time outside of the battlegrounds whereas Battle Royale solely focuses on the kill-or-be-killed war zone -- the similarities in premise are eerily similar.  In the end, however, when weighing the pros and cons of each film, they come out about even and I'd honestly be hard-pressed to say which one I like better.

It's the new millennium and, in order to keep unruly teens in line, the Japanese government decides that every year it's going to take a classroom of ninth graders, place them on an island, and force them to fight each other to the death in something called Battle Royale.  Somehow, this is supposed to keep teens in check, however, I'm not quite sure how randomly choosing thirty or so kids is going to solve greater problems in Japanese culture.  [The dystopian dynamics of the Hunger Games and the government's influences on its people are much better detailed.]  Still, only one can come out alive and it's certainly amusing to see these kids begin to turn on each other.

Battle Royale is absolutely bloody...laughably so.  But that's really the point.  There's an over-the-top quality here and realism is not something that is even in the dictionary of director Kinji Fukasaku.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing.  It gives the otherwise simplistic storyline a reason to exist while also allowing for the often overacting teens to showcase as extravagant and overdramatic deaths as possible.

This isn't great cinema, but I was hoping for something a little more than what it has to give.  I must admit that I began watching this one evening and got about halfway through and had to stop for the night despite the fact that I was enjoying the campiness of the whole flick.  The next day, I started the movie and found myself almost bored.  Death after death occurs (and we see nearly all of the kills onscreen) and it almost gets tedious.  Still, Battle Royale is fun...a term I wouldn't necessarily use to describe The Hunger Games.  They both have their plusses and minuses, but in the end, they're about the same in terms of effectiveness.

The RyMickey Rating:  B-

Movie Review - Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton, and Michael Nyqvist

Directed by Brad Bird

Although Mission: Impossible II was one of my least favorite movies the year it came out, I don't utterly detest the Mission: Impossible series of films.  Maybe it's just the catchy theme music -- which really is one of the best tv theme songs ever created -- but it's probably more that I like the gadgety spy vibe that runs throughout.  I had heard really good things about animation director Brad Bird's first foray into live action filming.  Fortunately, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol did not disappoint and is probably the best action flick to come out of 2011.

Part of the reason for its success is that this Mission: Impossible has an odd joyfulness to it that I don't remember at all in previous incarnations in this series.  There's a humor here that I wasn't expecting and it added a breath of fresh air to the typical explosions and chase scenes that are part and parcel of a film of this ilk.  Certainly much of the chuckles come thanks to Simon Pegg who is the gadget guru Benji, part of the special team headed by Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt, who after being rescued from a Russian prison finds himself on a mission (impossible) to hunt down a Swedish nuclear weapon expert (Michael Nyqvist) deadset on starting a world war.  Aided by Jane Carter (a very solid [and sexy] Paula Patton), Ethan and his team travel from Moscow to Dubai to India tracking down the baddie.

It also helps matters that the story is very straightforward -- read: easy to comprehend.  Sometimes spy films like this tend to throw more info at you than you really need -- red herrings here, ridiculously convoluted background information there.  MI4 doesn't do that at all and I don't mean this as an insult to it.  Don't think that things are overly simplified -- it's just that Brad Bird and his screenwriters have pared things down to be exactly what is needed to make this story fly by.  Bird also crafts his action sequences without the superfluous quick edits and nonstop explosions that are so prevalent in movies today.  There are some genuinely exciting moments here that rely on tension rather than rapid movement to succeed and that's often a rarity nowadays.

Unfortunately, I think the film falters a tiny bit in two areas.  One, Jeremy Renner's character of a government official who is forced to become part of Ethan's team seemed to simply be there to attempt to craft future movies around him.  He isn't really given a lot to do and although he's fine in the role, this is the one point in the movie that probably could've been fleshed out a bit more.  Secondly, the final act of the movie seems almost unnecessary.  When the team moves to India, I couldn't help but think things could've ended in Dubai to much greater effect -- not all movies need to be two hours and ten minutes long.  The final action sequence (which was genuinely tense and exciting) could so easily have taken place in Dubai that the move to India only screamed "Look at our budget!" to me.

Still, those are actually minor quibbles in the grand scheme of things because Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol really excels in all areas -- acting, directing, writing -- where most action movies nowadays fail miserably.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

Movie Review - Dream House

Dream House (2011)

Starring Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, and Naomi Watts

Directed by Jim Sheridan

Dream House tries to be a slightly more adult-skewing ghost story, but it unfortunately lacks any scares or tension and the "surprise" twists are telegraphed from the opening moments (and were apparently spoiled in the trailer of which I don't have any recollection).  After watching the film, I discovered that director Jim Sheridan (who crafted a slow and plodding film here) was at odds with the production company throughout most of the filming and neither he nor stars Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz agreed to do any amount of press for the flick upon its release.  They knew they had a stinker on their hands...and they weren't wrong.

Although I could easily spoil things for you as the movie doesn't attempt to hide its secrets, I'll simply state that Dream House revolves around a family who moves into a new home only to discover that several years ago the former owners were killed in a horrible fashion.  Seeing as this is an "attempt" at a horror film, it's no surprise that the events from the past begin to slowly wreak havoc on the events in the present as husband and wife Will and Libby (Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz) must do what they can to keep their family safe.

Ultimately, it's obvious that no one really had fun whilst filming and it shows onscreen.  Everything about Dream House feels heavy-handed, uninspired, and insipidly dull.  Despite an admirable attempt at creating a modern-day adult-centric horror movie, this venture doesn't work in the slightest.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Shark Night

Shark Night 3D (2011)

Starring Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, and Donal Logue

Directed by David R. Ellis

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

I have no one to blame but myself for watching Shark Night 3D -- yes, even when it's not seen in 3D, its extra-dimension moniker still remains attached to the title.  I was hoping for the winking absurdity of Piranha 3D which, even though it's not even remotely close to a good movie, at least set out to make a purposefully corny film.  Unfortunately, while Shark Night 3D is probably well aware of the fact that it isn't a good movie, it doesn't ever embrace its corniness in the way it should have.

I could summarize the movie for you, but all you really need to know is that there's a bunch of sharks terrorizing a group of college kids, chomping them to bits one by one.  There's nothing else you need to know...and there's really nothing else to know.  Movies like this aren't heavy on plot.

Nor are movies like this known for being acting or directing showcases and that isn't the case here either.  Granted, I've certainly seen worse horror movies, but this one really isn't worth the 90 minutes of your time even for a cheap laugh.

The RyMickey Rating:  D

Movie Review - Retreat

Retreat (2011)

Starring Thandie Newton, Cillian Murphy, and Jamie Bell

Directed by Carl Tibbetts

On the brink of divorce, husband and wife Martin and Kate (Cillian Murphy and Thandie Newton) take a trip to an incredibly small island off the coast of England.  With only one house on the isle and with no communication with the outside world except for a rickety CB radio, the couple hope to reignite the passion that's been missing from their marriage ever since Kate miscarried.  However, shortly into their stay, Martin and Kate discover a battered and bruised man (Jamie Bell) who washes up on the shore.  When the man comes to, he relays to the couple that a terrible airborne virus has wreaked havoc on Europe and that the only way to save themselves is to seal up their small island home and try to wait out the outbreak.  Without any form of communication, Martin and Kate are placed into a difficult situation and must make a decision as to whether they can believe this man they just met.

To me, Retreat has a great concept and while it doesn't necessarily succeed fully as a movie, there is enough promise that should the film pop up on Instant Viewing on Netflix, it'd be worth a watch.  Essentially a three-character piece, the overarching premise of the movie works.  Where the movie drops the ball is in the development of the characters -- particularly the couple Martin and Kate.  With conveniently dropped tidbits of information to give us their backstory, any background characterizations we get of the couple are terribly forced and completely unnatural to the storytelling process, providing eye-rolling groan-inducing moments in the film's opening act.

Fortunately, for the most part, the trio of actors is successful at creating the tension needed for this claustrophobic film to succeed.  Jamie Bell (best known for the title role of Billy Elliott over a decade ago) brings out just the right amount of paranoia to always have the audience questioning whether his character of Jack is nuts or legitimately truthful in his panic concerning the virus.  Cillian Murphy is also quite good as the rather subdued husband.  Not wanting to create a stir, his Martin is the more levelheaded of the couple and Murphy allows his character's actions to always seem believable.

Thandie Newton, on the other hand, is an actress that has fallen out of my good graces in recent years.  Last year, she landed on the the RyMickey Awards' Worst Actress list for her work in For Colored Girls, but she's certainly better in Retreat than she was in that Tyler Perry flick.  However, the same critique of Newton that I mentioned when discussing her Worst Actress "award" -- that she "plays anger and frustration with this incredible screechiness that is so overpoweringly unbelievable" -- still rings true here. Granted, it's not nearly as bad here, but it still rears its ugly head.  She's a beautiful woman, but when Newton is forced to get really gritty, she just can't succeed.

Still, while Retreat may not be without its faults, it's still a movie that is worth a watch.  I was a bit worried that with the premise, I was inevitably going to be disappointed with the ending, but to its credit, the film manages to provide an satisfying conclusion that surprisingly appeased this reviewer's rather critical palette.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - Albert Nobbs

Albert Nobbs (2011)

Starring Glenn Close, Mia Wasikowska, Aaron Johnson, and Janet McTeer

Directed by Rodrigo García

Albert Nobbs is, quite possibly, the most boring film released in 2011 -- and in the year of J. Edgar, The Iron Lady, and Anonymous that's saying something.  However, unlike J. Edgar which had a decent performance from Leonardo DiCaprio, The Iron Lady which had a worthy Oscar-winning turn from Meryl Streep, and Anonymous which had some interesting visuals, Albert Nobbs has absolutely nothing going for it.  Nothing at all.  This "dream" project of Glenn Close is dreadfully monotonous and torturous to sit through and without even a captivating performance with which to breathe life into it, Albert Nobbs is a period piece that really shouldn't even exist.

Sorry, but the raves that came in for Glenn Close's Oscar-nominated performance as the title character -- a woman who has dressed as a man for decades in order to keep a job -- were completely unwarranted.  As Albert Nobbs, Close is emotionally one-note, appearing "stoic" throughout and very little else in terms of notable characteristics.  As Albert struggles to find a woman to spend his life with, training his eye on young co-worker Helen (Mia Wasikowska), I found my eyes wandering around the close quarters of my plane home from London.  Not even the Oscar-nominated turn from Janet McTeer as a fellow woman who lives her life as a man (with a heckuva lot more charisma than Close) can do anything to save this film from simply floundering.

With awkward direction and a horrible subplot involving Wasikowska's character and her relationship with a conniving young handyman (Aaron Johnson), this is a movie in search of itself.  Seemingly as much time is spent on the young lovers storyline which goes nowhere as is spent on Albert's -- and neither of them are worth paying any amount of attention to.

The RyMickey Rating:  D-

Movie Review - A Separation

A Separation (Jodaeiye Nader az Simin) (2011)

Starring Peyman Moadi, Leila Hatami, Sareh Bayat, Shahab Hosseini, Sarina Farhadi, and Kimia Hosseini

Directed by Asghar Farhadi

From the opening scene of A Separation -- a long, unmoving, single take of an Iranian couple in a family court discussing the wife's desire for a divorce from her husband -- I knew that this narratively simple story was going to pull me in with some winning performances.  Even watching it on a screen the size of my hand and surrounded by strangers on an airplane, Asghar Farhadi's Academy Award-winning film drowned out my less-than-ideal moviegoing atmosphere and fully captured my attention.  This Iranian film -- which I was incredibly wary of seeing when it was at the local arthouse for fear of boredom -- has managed to become one of my favorites of 2011.

With conditions in Iran worsening, Simin (Leila Hatami) wants to take her eleven year-old daughter Termeh (Sarina Farhadi) and leave the country.  However, unable to convince her husband Nader (Peyman Moadi) to come with her and abandon his Alzheimers-inflicted elderly father, Simin files for divorce.  When the judge fails to grant her request, Simin moves out of their house causing Nader to hire Razieh (Sareh Bayat) to look after his father while he is at work.  With her family's income hurting, Razieh keeps her job a secret from her husband (Shahab Hosseini) since Muslim customs state that no woman shall be in a house with a another woman's husband without her own husband or another woman present.  Unfortunately, a series of small events balloon into something much more major and a seemingly "innocent" separation of a husband and wife could lead to a tragic set of events for a father trying to do his best to provide for his fracturing family.

Admittedly, I knew very little about this movie going into it and that's why I've attempted to leave the summary above as vague as possible.  It's not that there are surprises around every corner -- the story is actually quite simple -- but it's riveting in its realism.  There's a naturalness on display here that isn't present in many films.  It is as if we're watching a real family going through a difficult time and that's certainly a credit to the actors who all appear so genuine that they convince us completely of their feelings towards one another -- whether that be compassion or distaste or a tricky combination of both.

It's also extremely interesting to get a glimpse at both a modern-day Iranian Muslim family and the court system of that part of the world.  Granted, were I familiar with either of those topics, A Separation may have lost a bit of its freshness, but since I'm not knowledgable on either of those subjects, it was a bit eye-opening for me and an intriguing look at everyday life on the opposite side of the world.  Still, in the end, I keep coming back to the simplicity and the naturalness of everything here -- the direction, the story, the acting.  Everything in A Separation has an authenticity to it and, as a film, it doesn't attempt to make judgments as to who is right and who is wrong.  Writer-director Asghar Farhadi allows the audience to try and make that determination on their own which, at times, is an incredibly difficult decision to make which further is a credit to his ability to craft a realistic portrayal of family life.

The RyMickey Rating:  A-

Movie Review - Chronicle

Chronicle (2012)

Starring Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell, and Michael B. Jordan

Directed by Josh Trank

One of these days, the "found footage" concept is bound to bite the dust, but for some reason it's a fad that is fairly consistently successful in part because it seemingly can produce movies on the cheap.  Although not a horror film like most of the "found footage" flicks that have come before it, Chronicle has all the staples I've come to find in the genre -- a focus on youth, unknown actors to project a sense of "realism," and an hour of nothingness followed by a third act that works incredibly well, but can't quite make up for the failings that came before it.

When three high school friends find what appears to be a sinkhole in a junkyard and go into it to explore, they come out of the hole with superhuman powers.  Cat-like reflexes, the ability to move things with their minds, and flying are just a few of their newfound attributes.  Unfortunately, for about an hour, the film does nothing except throw some horrible dialog at us while this trio marvels at their cool new talents. Sure, we're tossed some character scenes most involving the videographer Andrew (Dane DeHaan) and his abusive out-of-work father that are supposed to build up and give credence to the film's final act, but these attempts at providing depth are really just laughable and much too obvious in their foreshadowing of the film's conclusion.

Ultimately, though, the film's final twenty minutes are a pretty exciting (although insanely ludicrous) thrill ride.  It's a shame that director Josh Trank and screenwriter Max Landis don't provide, respectively, enough visual stimuli or meaningful plot to make the rest of the film live up to the finale.  It doesn't help matters that this is probably one of the worst "found footage" films in terms of camera shots -- the superpowers of our heroes allow the camera to float in midair beside them so we're not always seeing a first-person look of things like most other films in this genre.  This should've been unique, but instead proves off-putting in many scenes.  And don't even get me started on where the heck the cameras are for the final scenes...how they were getting filmed is beyond me.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Theater Review - Sweeney Todd

Sweeney Todd

Book by Hugh Wheeler

Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim 

Directed by Jonathan Kent

Where: Adelphi Theatre, London, England

When: Saturday, April 28, 7:30pm

In what will likely be my only instance of seeing live theater in Britain, I am incredibly pleased to report that Sweeney Todd was the dark, morbid tale I was expecting -- and it was great.  I don't dislike the Johnny Depp-Tim Burton movie adaptation as much as others (although it did seem to lack any modicum of fun which, despite the freakish storyline, this work should have), but seeing Stephen Sondheim's wickedly delightful tale unfold on a stage with two fantastic lead performances was wonderful.

Although probably most famous for being a musical about stuffing humans into pies, Sweeney Todd weaves the tale of the title character, a barber who was banished from London after evil judge Turpin begins to lust after his wife.  Sweeney (played by Michael Ball) covertly returns to London and takes residence in piemaker Nellie Lovett's shop.  Mrs. Lovett (the delightful Imelda Staunton) tells Sweeney that his wife killed herself after Turpin raped her and that Sweeney's teenage daughter is kept locked away by Turpin.  Sweeney vows revenge and begins a murderous rampage that helps Mrs. Lovett's ailing pie shop as she brainstorms the devious idea of stuffing Sweeney's murder victims into delicious meat pies.

Despite its rather horrid premise, Sweeney Todd manages to be darkly humorous thanks mainly to Mrs. Lovett who is marvelously portrayed here by Imelda Staunton.  Staunton -- best known to American audiences for her role as Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter movies -- may not be the best singer, but she brings much needed comedic timing to the heavy affair.  Her interactions with the equally impressive, though frighteningly brooding Michael Ball were the best parts of the production...and ultimately make some of the scenes in which neither of them are involved a bit of a letdown only because these two leads were so electric that you wanted the story to always be revolving around them.

Still, this Stephen Sondheim musical is widely regarded as one of the best musical theater pieces ever written and it's easy to see why.  With two hefty roles, a unique story, and cleverly wry lyrics, it has the hallmarks of what one looks for in a musical.  This production re-imagined by director Jonathan Kent updated to 1930s London rather than the usual mid-19th century in which the play was initially written is visually sparse, but oddly spot-on in the urban aesthetic it desires to achieve.

Sweeney Todd wasn't necessarily the first choice to go see in London, but I'm certainly glad we decided to go this route.  The great reviews this production received were certainly warranted.

Movie Review - Puss in Boots

Puss in Boots (2011)

Featuring the voice talents of Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, and Zach Galifianakis

Directed by Chris Miller

The Shrek franchise is not one I'm fond of in the least.  While its pop culture sensibilities and cheap attempts at humor changed the animation genre, I don't think it did so for the better and, fortunately, we're seeing a shift away from that.  Quite surprisingly, Puss in Boots, a spin-off of the Shrek flicks, tells a pleasant story riffing on Mother Goose tales, but leaves the pop culture references behind.

Admittedly, I watched this while on a plane so I failed to get a good look at the animation since the screen was literally the size of a large index card, but I was impressed with the story this was trying to tell.  After learning that Jack and Jill have magic beans that will grow a magic beanstalk, Puss (Antonio Banderas) sets out on a mission to find them in order to gain access to the golden eggs laid by the golden goose at the top of stalk.  He teams up with fellow sassy cat Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) and his former childhood friend Humpty Dumpty (Zack Galifianakis) and adventures inevitably ensue.

Even with the short 85 minute running time, the film felt a tad "empty" in terms of story, but I give Puss in Boots credit for taking a different tonal approach from its Shrek predecessors and doing so successfully.  Rather than mean-spirited (which Shrek sometimes feels to me), the flick contains amusing characters that are more than capable of holding their own with the fairy tale fables played for their charm rather than for a snarky joke.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Abduction

Abduction (2011)

Starring Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina, Jason Isaacs, Maria Bello, Michael Nyqvist, and Sigourney Weaver

Directed by John Singleton

I should have known that in the first scene when high school senior Nathan Harper (Taylor Lautner) and his two buddies get excited about going to the home opener of the Pittsburgh Pirates season that Abduction was going to be lacking in realism.  I mean, it's the Pirates...does anyone get excited about them?  Still, I told myself to suspend disbelief for a few more minutes and give what was one of the worst reviewed movies of 2011 a chance.  In the end, and I've used this criticism before, Abduction is a movie that I can't help but feel I could've written in my childhood "novel" writing days where dialog was cheesy, characters were ill-conceived, and plots were by-the-book.

I'm only familiar with Taylor Lautner from the Twilight films and I always thought that he was the strongest part of that series -- I confess that I was probably quite wrong in that assessment.  Lautner here is simply painful.  Mugging for the camera and overly mannered, he's the opposite of charming and charismatic.  Here, Lautner is Nathan, a typical high school senior.  When working on a research paper with his childhood friend Karen (Lily Collins), he comes across a picture of his four year-old self on an internet site for missing persons.  Just as he confronts his folks (Jason Isaacs and Maria Bello) about his discovery, their house is broken into by some foreign baddies and Nathan and Karen are forced to go on the run.

How a film so obvious and surprise-deficient managed to snag people like Maria Bello, Alfred Molina, and Sigourney Weaver to join the cast is beyond me.  None of those names are given anything to do here and it's completely obvious this was a "paycheck only" movie.  Lily Collins comes off as okay -- I'll reserve judgment on her until I see a bit more.  She's certainly attractive, but she isn't given a whole lot to do here and what she is given is mind-boggingly bland.

But the biggest problems with Abduction are the "star" Lautner whose faults I mentioned above and the director John Singleton who has done such a poor job crafting this movie that I have to think someone off the street could've done better.  Fight scenes are poorly choreographed and edited, transitions are abysmal, and Singleton fails to get a good performance from his lead.  To me, despite the simplicity of the plot, the fault with this movie lies squarely with Singleton who is to unable to bring anything to the table.  Abduction may not be the worst movie of the year as some may have called it, but it's certainly not any good.

The RyMickey Rating:  D