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So as you know, I stopped writing lengthy reviews on this site this year, keeping the blog as more of a film diary of sorts.  Lo and behold,...

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

The 2014 RyMickey Awards - Worst Film

Although I've watched more than 175 movies in 2014, I still managed to avoid inevitable classics like Transformers: Age of Extinction (I despise this series), The Expendables 3 (I despise this series), Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (I despise this series...notice a trend?), or Adam Sandler's Blended.  I also stopped watching some incredibly boring period pieces -- Miss Julie, Mr. Turner -- about a third of the way through while also stopping some Oscar-nominated flicks like Leviathan and Two Days, One Night because, quite frankly, I just didn't feel as if they were worth my time.

That said, despite those possible missed entries onto this list, there are still quite a few doozies below that epitomize everything that's wrong with the movie industry...and also everything that's wrong with movies featuring Cameron Diaz who earns the dubious honor of starring in three of my ten worst movies of the year.  (Pierce Brosnan wasn't far behind with two flicks in the bottom twenty.)

Worst Films of 2014
SoN = Streaming on Netflix // SoA = Streaming on Amazon Prime

(Dis)Honorable Mentions
(all films ranked 'D' or below)
(underlined titles link to original reviews)
Frankie & Alice (SoN/SoA)   ----    Let's Be Cops
Let's Kill Ward's Wife (SoA)    ----    Three Days to Kill (SoN)
Get on Up    ----    Deliver Us From Evil

#20 - Third Person -- D
#19 - God's Pocket -- D
#18 - Le Week-end (SoN / SoA) -- D
#17 - A Million Ways to Die in the West -- D
#16 - Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return (SoN) -- D
#15 - A Long Way Down (SoN) -- D
#14 - Inherent Vice -- D
#13 - Tammy -- D-
#12 - The Love Punch -- D-
#11 - Sabotage (SoN) -- D-

And the Bottom Ten Are...

#10 - Stage Fright (SoN) -- D-
Was the world asking for a horror-musical mash-up?  This one isn't scary in the slightest, the musical numbers are so poorly acted and staged, and the acting is lukewarm at best.

#9 - White Bird in a Blizzard (SoN) -- D-
A film in which every character inhabiting it feels fake.

#8 - Annabelle -- D-
This "prequel" to 2013's Top Twenty flick The Conjuring, this proved to be a huge disappointment when compared to its predecessor.

#7 - Ouija -- D-
The worst horror movie of the year -- though not by much -- contains nary a scary moment.

#6 - Sex Tape -- D-
The first of three Cameron Diaz entries, I'm ashamed that the writers behind The Muppets crafted such a waste of celluloid.

#5 - Bird People (SoN) -- F
Admittedly, this one only got an 'F' because the film's final forty minutes ticked me off so much and completely erased any good will the first eighty minutes had banked.

Three typically solid actors add up to a horribly produced Lifetime-esque movie of the week.

#3 - Pompeii -- F
Paul W.S. Anderson isn't known for helming good flicks and this is no exception with its hammy acting and video game-level special effects.

#2 - The Other Woman -- F
It's amazing what the American public will tolerate when it comes to romantic comedies.  An absolute train wreck with one of the most grating performances of the year from Leslie Mann.

#1 - Annie -- F
So over-produced and so over-digitized, there's never a moment in this "musical" where we feel like the characters are ever actually singing which completely sucks any emotion out of the film's set pieces.  A horrible, "hip" updating that doesn't allow the actors to rise up above the absolute shlock they're forced to convey.

Previous Worst Film "Winners"

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