Free Guy

 Free Guy (2021)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Jodie Comer, Joe Keery, Lil Rey Howard, Utkarsh Ambudkar, and Taika Waititi

Directed by Shawn Levy

Written by Matt Lieberman and Zak Penn

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  D-

Red Notice

 Red Notice (2021)

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, Gal Gadot, Ritu Arya, and Chris Diamatopoulos

Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber

Written by Rawson Marshall Thurber

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating:  D+

Life

Life (2017)

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, and Olga Dihovichnaya

Directed by Daniel Espinosa

Written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick

Summary (in 500 words or less): A sextet of astronauts orbiting the Earth attach to a satellite that contains samples from an exploration of Mars.  After discovering that the samples contain evidence of life on Mars, the crew begins completing research, discovering that the lifeform grows very rapidly...and may not be as gentle as they first thought.

Click here for my Letterboxd review

The RyMickey Rating: B

Movie Review - Criminal

Criminal (2016)

Starring Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman, Tommy Lee Jones, Alice Eve, Gal Gadot, Michael Pitt, Jordi Mollà, and Ryan Reynolds

Directed by Ariel Vromen

***This film is currently streaming via HBO Now/GO***

Not that it matters to this reviewer at all, but for some reason I thought Criminal was a Ryan Reynolds-starring film.  Considering this was released shortly after the huge (unwarranted) success of Deadpool, perhaps the marketing did genuinely play up Reynolds' involvement, but let it be known that the actor is barely in this piece.  Reynolds is Bill Pope, an American CIA agent working in London who has recently been in contact with a hacker known as The Dutchman (Michael Pitt) who broke into a variety of computer programs and gained access to a slew of worldwide nuclear codes.  The Dutchman was working for Xavier Heimdahl (Jordi Mollà), an anarchist who, upon discovering the Dutchman's betrayal, sets out to find Pope and find out where the CIA agent is hiding the hacker.  Pope refuses to talk and Heimdahl has him killed.  (I promise, that's not really a spoiler as it happens within the first fifteen minutes of the film.)  London CIA head Quaker Wells (Gary Oldman), who is also unsure of the Dutchman's location, contacts Dr. Micah Franks (Tommy Lee Jones) who has been working on an experimental treatment for the government where he implants the memories of one individual into another.  Considering the risky operation, the CIA chooses a nasty convict, murderer Jericho Stewart (Kevin Costner), to test the treatment and, needless to say, Jericho doesn't necessarily follow orders when he's finally released from his isolated prison cell leading Agent Wells and his team to not only have to save the world from the Dutchman's boss, but also try and round up a criminal whom they've set loose in the city of London.

A long summary, yes, but the details at the start of Criminal are the most important...and frankly, the beginning is the only time this movie really works.  Sure, there's an obvious ludicrousness to the medical notions discussed, but it was at least moderately intriguing and slightly different which is more than can be said about the film's second two-thirds which devolve into a rote action chase film.  It's fun to see Kevin Costner as a bad guy -- albeit a bad guy with the memories of a good guy which sets up a slightly complicated character for Costner to sink his teeth into -- but the film Costner's Jericho Stewart is inhabiting is just too typical and ho hum to really become invested.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Deadpool

Deadpool (2016)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano, Brianna Hildebrand, Stefan Kapicic, and Leslie Uggams

Directed by Tim Miller

While I tend to have the reputation that I'm not a fan of superhero movies (hell, I've even said it myself on the blog), that's not necessarily an accurate statement.  While the DC franchise has left me a bit disenchanted (even that lauded Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy leaves me feeling meh), Marvel films tend to have enough exuberance that I find the majority of them enjoyable even if they are a bit frivolous.  And no comic book movie is perhaps more frivolous than Deadpool, the R-rated smash that changed the comic book film landscape in early 2016.  Lauded by the fan base for its coarse language, sexual jokes, the occasional boob or butt (although surprisingly not as many as I expected), Deadpool does contain all these things we haven't yet seen in a Marvel flick.  But what it doesn't have is a decent story, relying instead on shock value and a snarky performance from Ryan Reynolds that's not compelling to this reviewer in the slightest.

Reynolds is Wade Wilson whose job nowadays is as a for-hire mercenary, going out every night hunting people down for a profit.  While at the local bar, he meets prostitute Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) and the two hit it off right away.  Now boyfriend and girlfriend, things seem to be looking bright for the heretofore downtrodden and sullen Wade until he's diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Faced with his own demise, Wade agrees to an experimental treatment at some seedy establishment which turns out to be both a blessing and a curse.  It turns out the man running the experiment -- Francis Freeman (Ed Skrein) -- has more nefarious plans which end up permanently disfiguring Wade, but also giving him the fantastical superhero trait of being nearly invincible with the ability to regenerate every aspect of his body.  Despite this admittedly awesome ability, Wade is still devastated that he was pulled away from the one meaningful relationship in his life with Vanessa and he sets out on a mission to seek revenge on Francis.

The biggest issue with Deadpool is that it thinks it's infinitely funnier and more amusing than it really is.  Beyond Wade's backstory, there's very little plot here and the screenwriters decided that self-referential jokes would win people over -- and based on this film's blockbuster status, they were correct.  Unfortunately, it didn't work for me.  Sure, a few bits hit their mark and elicited a chuckle or two, but in the end, I found myself feeling decidedly disconnected from the story and the characters.  Granted, part of that disconnection is formed by placing a pompous egotistical jerk of a character at the center of your film -- but, honestly, that just means the filmmakers have to try a little bit harder to get people like me to care about things.  You can have an awful person at the center of your film and succeed -- just look at my all-time favorite movie Psycho -- you just have to work a little harder to have the audience buy into what they're watching.

Ryan Reynolds does a decent job exemplifying the title character, but his wry sensibilities throughout most of the film weren't enough to keep me engaged.  Part of me understands why people fell in love with this movie -- it is admittedly very different than comic books films we've seen previously -- but "different" doesn't necessarily equal "good" and that's the case with Deadpool.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Self/less

Self/less (2015)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Natalie Martinez, Matthew Goode, Victor Garber, Derek Luke, Michelle Dockery, Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen, and Ben Kingsley

Directed by Tarsem Singh

When the aging billionaire Damian Hale (Ben Kingsley) is diagnosed with terminal cancer, his wealth permits him to meet up with a scientifically creative professor named Albright (Matthew Goode) who has created a procedure called "shedding" wherein one's thoughts, consciousness, and "mental past" is transferred into the body of a younger, healthier body.  Hale agrees to the procedure which is successful as Hale's consciousness is placed into that of a younger man (Ryan Reynolds).  As the new "Hale" starts a new life, he begins to have flashbacks involving a woman (Natalie Martinez) and her young daughter (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen) whom he never knew.

Who exactly are these two females and why "Hale" is envisioning them are the questions at the center of director Tarsem Singh's Self/less (yes, that '/' is ridiculously part of the title for some reason) which isn't nearly as confusing as that summary may make it sound.  Unfortunately, the premise despite being slightly original feels tired because the screenplay and direction are rote and generic, unable to capture the genuine interest of the audience.  Ryan Reynolds is fine and he, at the very least, makes the flick watchable.  However, Matthew Goode (whom I typically like) is given a role that feels incredibly cookie cutter -- and whose character's motivations are obvious from the get-go.  Also unfortunate, Reynolds shares many a scene with Natalie Martinez, a model-turned-actress who I've seen in a few things now (including an entire season of the tv show Secrets and Lies) and am convinced she can't effectively emote onscreen.  Over-the-top, not believable in the slightest, and oftentimes painful to watch, I don't quite know why she's getting jobs in the entertainment industry.  Maybe she'll grow as an actress, but right now I'm not enjoying what she brings to the table.

Self/less actually isn't quite as painful as this review may make it out to be, but it's certainly not all that entertaining.  It's a bit too much of a slog to sit through in order to make it be considered even average.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - The Voices

The Voices (2015)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Gemma Arterton, Anna Kendrick, Ella Smith, and Jacki Weaver

Directed by Marjane Satrapi
***This film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime***

More amusing than I expected, The Voices is a dark horror comedy about Jerry (Ryan Reynolds), a factory worker in a small town who had some psychological problems in his past, but has moved on from them...maybe.  You see, with his dog Bosco and his cat Mr. Whiskers talking to him in an angel-on-your-shoulder/devil-on-your-shoulder kind of way, Jerry may not quite be 100% sane yet.  When Jerry goes out to a restaurant with three secretaries from work (Gemma Arterton, Anna Kendrick, and Ella Smith), he begins to think that he may have a chance of starting a relationship with one (or perhaps more) of them...except Jerry's mind has more deviant thoughts and murder is certainly not out of the question.

Embracing the quirky nature of the script, director Marjane Satrapi allows the cast to feel at home with either over-the-top (Ryan Reynolds, Gemma Arterton) or subdued (Anna Kendrick) acting, rather surprisingly meshing the two styles thanks to the dark comedy that runs throughout.  Relishing in comedic gore (which some could admittedly find offensive), The Voices humorously presents the story of a deranged guy desperately trying to better himself with less than successful results.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Woman in Gold

Woman in Gold (2015)

Starring Helen Mirren, Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Brühl, Katie Holmes, and Tatiana Maslany

Directed by Simon Curtis

While Woman in Gold doesn't reinvent any cinematic wheel of any kind, I came away from the film surprised by how much the true story of Maria Altmann kept my interest.  During the 1930s, Altmann  (played during this time period by Tatiana Maslany) and her wealthy Austrian Jewish family lived in Vienna.  However, when the Nazis invaded, the Altmann family's vast collection of art including five pieces by the revered artist Gustav Klimt was seized.  Maria and her sister escaped Austria and several decades later following her sister's death, Maria (now played by Helen Mirren) uncovers several of her sister's letters detailing attempts to get back these Klimt paintings which now reside in an Austrian museum with one piece in particular -- "Woman in Gold" -- being revered much in the same way as Paris's "Mona Lisa."  Maria hires Randy Schoenberg (Ryan Reynolds), a young lawyer and family friend, to aid her in determining whether she has any pull in getting the paintings back to her -- the rightful owner.  Needless to say, the Austrian government is staunchly against this and the struggle to make this happen is a difficult one.

While the film follows typical "biopic" tropes, thanks to a nice performance from Helen Mirren, Women in Gold is oddly compelling.  Granted, the film has a lightness to it -- thanks to witty repartee between the older Maria and the younger Randy -- but that nicely counters the more serious aspects of the plot which admittedly seem a little bit glossed over at times with that Hollywood Magic sheen. Still, despite the lack of some emotional heft (especially considering the Holocaust storyline), there's still heart which some could possibly view as corny, but I found charming.

Helen Mirren helps to elevate the material as is typical of the great actress and, honestly, she probably makes the film more enjoyable than it really should be.  However, there's nothing particularly wrong with that.  The film itself at least tells a new story from a much-filmed cinematic time period and it does so with solid technique, making Woman in Gold worth a watch.

The RyMickey Rating:  B-

Movie Review - The Captive

The Captive (2014)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Rosario Dawson, Scott Speedman, Mireille Enos, Kevin Durand, Alexia Fast, and Bruce Greenwood

Directed by Atom Egoyan

***This film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime***

The Captive is an odd movie.  From the opening scene, we know who the bad guy is since we see him keeping a teenage girl locked away in a room.  So the suspense of that aspect of Atom Egoyan's film is moot right from the get-go.  The question we find ourselves asking then is "Why has he kept this girl alive for eight years since kidnapping her?"

As Egoyan's film jumps around through time (to presumably keep things [unsuccessfully] suspenseful), we drift back to the day when young Cass was kidnapped out of her father's truck while he went in to buy a pie at a local Canadian diner.  Upon his return, Matthew (Ryan Reynolds) finds his daughter missing and his life turned upside down as his wife Tina (Mireille Enos) blames him for their daughter's disappearance and two cops (Rosario Dawson and Scott Speedman) think Matthew is hiding something from them.

Of course, we know that Matthew isn't the culprit.  Instead it's Mika (Kevin Durand), a put-together soft-spoken weirdo of a guy who keeps the now teenage Cass (Alexia Fast) locked up in a room, providing for her whatever she needs in terms of food, clothing, and other leisure items.  As part of this weirdly sick game Mika is playing (which doesn't seem to involve any sexual favors with the teen), he places cameras at her mother's place of work so Cass can still connect with her and promises Cass that he will allow her to see her father again for a few brief minutes.  Even when Mika's motive for keeping Cass alive is revealed, it seems odd -- just as odd as the twisted and completely far-fetched and unbelievable game he's playing with Cass and her family.

I can't say I hated The Captive.  I did find that it kept my interest mostly throughout, but that was partly because it was so strange.  It helps that Egoyan's eye behind the camera keeps the drab Canadian landscape seem like an ominous character in and of itself.  Also, Ryan Reynolds is quite good here as the beleaguered dad, proving he really can stretch his dramatic muscles successfully if he so desires.  Rosario Dawson also gives one of her better performances, but her character is unfortunately drafted into one of the more ludicrous aspects of the plot -- and the one that the film tries to "hide" from us as long as possible thanks to the time twisting.  Atom Egoyan unfortunately makes films that I find myself always thinking have potential, but never deliver and The Captive really isn't an exception.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Turbo

Turbo (2013)

Featuring the voice talents of Ryan Reynolds, Paul Giamatti, Michael Peña, Samuel L. Jackson, Luis Guzmán, Bill Hader, Snoop Dogg, Richard Jenkins, Michelle Rodriguez, and Ken Jeong

Directed by David Soren

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

About 35 minutes into Turbo, I found myself thinking that I had a nice little surprise on my hands with this fairly little seen film (in terms of mainstream animated flicks).  A NASCAR-obsessed snail named Theo (voiced by Ryan Reynolds) is the problem child of a clan of snails headed by Theo's older brother Chet (Paul Giamatti).  The snails take care of a tomato patch, but Theo seemingly causes chaos with his daydreaming about one day matching the talent of his favorite NASCAR driver Guy Gagne (Bill Hader).  Discouraged by his brother's disappointment in him, Theo wanders away from the tomato patch and, in a freak accident, gets sucked into the engine of a drag racing car wherein, through some crazy DNA fusion, he gets his veins filled with nitrous oxide causing him to be able to move as fast as the cars he's dreamed about.

While I enjoyed the tale's relationship between brothers Theo and Chet, once Theo leaves his home and becomes a souped-up snail, Turbo begins to fall apart.  Theo finds himself at Dos Bros Taco store and, perhaps serendipitously, Tito (Michael Peña), one of the Dos Bro's, races snails for fun.  (Yeah...sure...)  When he discovers Theo's prowess, Tito decides to try and get Theo -- whom he names Turbo -- into the Indianapolis 500.

While Turbo looks decent and its main voice actors -- Ryan Reynolds and Paul Giamatti -- are solid, its story just doesn't work once Theo "becomes" Turbo.  While at Dos Bros, Turbo meets a slew of other snails -- voiced by people like Snoop Dogg, Maya Rudolph, and Samuel L. Jackson -- who have ridiculously stereotypical personalities and don't do anything to advance the story whatsoever.  They all could've (and should've) been eliminated and the plot essentially could have been rolled out in the same manner.  The film's climax feels obvious and rather forced, allowing for very little tension which doesn't help things either.

The RyMickey Rating:  C

Movie Review - The Croods

The Croods (2013)

Featuring the vocal talents of Nicolas Cage, Emma Stone, Ryan Reynolds, Catherine Keener, Cloris Leachman, and Clark Duke

Directed by Kirk De Micco and Chris Sanders

***This film is currently streaming on Netflix***

When a movie like The Croods gets nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature instead of a movie like Monsters University, I can't help but shake my head.  One-note in its story about a father who "can't let go" of his growing daughter, any attempt for heart and emotion here is thwarted by the fact that the writers (who are also the directors) hit us over the head so many times with this notion.  Having heard the Nicolas Cage-voiced Grug tell his daughter Eep (voiced by Emma Stone) to "be afraid of what's out there beyond our cave" for seemingly five times during the film's first act, I checked out right away.

Animation-wise, The Croods is solid in terms of its main character design (although the humans are slightly blocky in nature and aren't anything overly special) and the voice acting is all fine considering the fact that the script is so lukewarm, but the story just falls flat.  After an earthquake boots them out of their safe cave home, the Crood family -- headed by patriarch Grug, his wife Ugga (Catherine Keener), their eldest daughter Eep, son Thunk (Clark Duke), toddler Sandy (who rabidly attacks everything like a dog), and mother-in-law Gran (Cloris Leachman) -- are forced to explore the rest of the Earth.  Their travels eventually lead them to meet a young man named Guy (Ryan Reynolds) who convinces most of the Crood family -- excepting Grug --  to follow him into this new fascinating world outside of their cave.  With Guy and Grug at odds with one another, it shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Grug's rough exterior and his inability to allow his family to take risks will eventually be softened.  It's this constant bickering between Guy and Grug that gets to near-monotonous levels and fails to allow the story to grow beyond its basic premise.

I won't even explore the fact that this film takes place during prehistoric times -- an era that featured a multitude of fascinating creatures -- yet contains a vast array of Dr. Seuss-ian landscapes filled with animals that would be right at home in his books.  Why create fake animals?  Just another one of the story flaws that is a bit mind-boggling to me in its stupidity.

The RyMickey Rating:  C-

Movie Review - Safe House

Safe House (2012)

Starring Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson, Robert Patrick, and Sam Shepard

Directed by Daniel Espinosa

I can't say that Safe House is original in the slightest.  I feel like I've seen everything presented in this thriller before.  Still, thanks to some strong performances from Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds, a quick pace, and a solid (if by-the-books) story, director Daniel Espinosa's first English-language venture is promising (and certainly entertaining) enough to indicate the possibility of success in the young auteur's future.

Matt Weston (Reynolds) is a young aspiring CIA agent stationed in South Africa.  Set to watch over a safe house, his days are filled with boredom, dreaming about the possibility of an upward move within the government agency.  One evening, Weston receives a call that a guest is coming to the house and when the visitor arrives, Weston immediately recognizes him as Tobin Frost (Washington), an ex-CIA operative who has since gone rogue and taken up some criminal activities.  Frost is on the run from some nasty fellows who want a microchip he has obtained and the only way of saving himself was to turn himself in to the US consulate in Cape Town.  Needless to say, the CIA safe house is soon compromised and the young Weston is forced out onto the streets of South Africa with the experienced and untrustworthy Frost where the young agent's skills are put to the ultimate test.

Safe House's biggest problem is that while it attempts to build drama by insinuating that there is a double agent within the CIA, director Daniel Espinosa foreshadows any type of surprises this revelation may have created via his camera work.  Fifteen minutes in, I already was well aware of how this movie was going to end.  That's not to say that there weren't some interesting twists and turns along the way, but the conclusion of the movie is ultimately too obvious and a bit of a letdown.

However, buoyed by some very nice performances from Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds (the latter whom surprised me by being totally believable in an action role) and a solid supporting turn from Vera Farmiga who rarely (if ever) disappoints, Safe House is a good action piece that deserves a look.

The RyMickey Rating:  B

Movie Review - Buried

Buried (2010)

Starring Ryan Reynolds

Directed by Rodrigo Cortés

Watching a man stuck in a coffin for ninety minutes shouldn't be entertaining.  And, to be completely honest, fifteen minutes in I was finding myself a bit fidgety, wondering if I was gonna be able to make it through the one-man show that is Buried.  Fortunately, things quickly picked up, and director Rodrigo Cortés's film provides some of the most exciting scenes captured on film in 2010.

Over the last year or two, I've grown to like Ryan Reynolds as an actor.  After decent turns in Definitely, Maybe and The Proposal, he'd proven to be a likable romantic lead.  I wasn't sold that he could take on a serious dramatic role...let alone a role that would force Reynolds and only Reynolds to be onscreen for the entirety of the movie.  Sure, Tom Hanks had done this before in Cast Away, but he had a whole island (plus Wilson) to play around with.  Mr. Reynolds is stuck in a two-by-seven foot casket with only a lighter, a cell phone, a crappy flashlight, some glow sticks, and a tiny flask of alcohol.  He's on his own with not much to play off of.

Same goes for the director.  Rodrigo Cortés is a brave man to tackle Buried because there's no place to go outside of the coffin.  One could see Hitchcock attempting to make this movie were he alive today, employing similar stylistic camera techniques that Cortés uses to keep the audience interested (for the most part).  Admittedly, during the beginning, I found myself disenchanted with the film, chalking it up to a failed experiment.  I was not enjoying Cortés's rather static camera shots and was pondering whether to just give up.  In the end, I'm thrilled I didn't.  Cortés (helped, of course, by screenwriter Chris Sparling) begins to amp up the tension, creating a claustrophobic paranoia that was certainly intriguing to watch.  Two scenes I won't spoil here (but would be more than happy to discuss in the comments) -- one in the middle of the film and the flick's final moments -- were just about as good of an edge-of-your-seat cinema moment as you're going to see.

Yes, Cortés is responsible for making the film visually successful.  Ryan Reynolds is responsible for the flick connecting on an emotional level with the audience.  As Paul Conroy, an American working as a contracted truck driver in Iraq, his character is just a normal guy trying to earn money to keep his family together...which makes it all the more upsetting to see an everyman wake up after an Iraqi ambush in a darkened coffin underground.  As he uses the cell phone in his possession to call relatives, the US government, and his captors, Reynolds succeeds in creating a believable character (whose emotions run the gamut from anger to sorrow) in an amazingly unbelievable situation.

Still, for all its positives (and there are many), the film doesn't achieve perfection.  A tiny bit of editing or perhaps a more visually stimulating camera technique in the first few minutes of the flick may have been all Buried needed to crack into my Top Five films of the year.  For now, it'll just have to settle for being a member of the Top Twenty.

The RyMickey Rating:  B+

On a side note:  Why the heck wasn't this movie released wider than it was?  I can maybe understand not going completely wide with it as its premise may not appeal to the masses, but the Philly market never even saw this film hit a theater?!  What's up with that?  Reynolds is certainly a bankable enough star that there's really no reason this film shouldn't have been treated a bit better than it was.

Movie Review - Definitely, Maybe (2008)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Rachel Weisz, Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Banks, and Abigail Breslin
Directed by Adam Brooks

I can't lie...I'm a fan of a good romantic comedy. They're few and far between, but the poster to the left mentions two really good ones -- Notting Hill and Love, Actually. The fact that this movie comes from the same producers was positive...and although it doesn't match the quality of those two, Definitely, Maybe is quite winning.

Very similar to tv's How I Met Your Mother, the flick revolves around a father (Reynolds) telling his daughter (Breslin) the story of how he met her mother, focusing on three ladies that were in his life, one of whom is the young gal's mom.

The three ladies -- Banks, Fisher, and Weisz -- come in and out of the dad's life and all three actresses are great, particularly Isla Fisher. Even in a crappy movie like Confessions of a Shopaholic, Fisher exudes cuteness and quirkiness, a combination on display here as well. And she is perfectly balanced by Ryan Reynolds who once again (along with The Proposal) proves that he's a charming leading man. I was actually moderately surprised that I believed him in the role of a father...not sure why...I guess I think he's young, but he's five years older than me (and we all know I'm a dinosaur).

The RyMickey Rating: B-

Movie Review - Adventureland (2009)

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Ryan Reynolds, Bill Hader, and Kristen Wiig
Directed by Greg Mottola

I really wish I could've cared about anyone in this movie, but I couldn't. Not in the slightest. Any movie where all the characters pretty much sit around and smoke pot all day never really does a thing for me. Life's so bad, let's smoke pot. Life's so boring, let's smoke pot. Let's smoke pot and giggle a lot.

The simple story is that James (Jesse Eisenberg) just finished college and can't find a job. He goes to work at the local amusement park in his hometown and he meets Em (Kristen Stewart) and falls in love with her. She's an emotionless bore and he's not much better.

Everything about this movie was just humdrum -- the actors, the story, the cliché 80s music. Em's dating the married park maintenance guy at the same time she's going out with James, but she gets angry when James starts dating the hottie worker from the amusement park, Lisa P (Margarita Levieva of Spread fame). What gives her the right to be angry? Who cares? There's some scene at the end where people cry and then they fight and it's all so unimportant.

Ugh...I really disliked this one. I realize this is one of the worst reviews ever, but I just don't care enough to give a damn about it.

The RyMickey Rating: D

Movie Review - The Proposal (2009)

Starring Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Craig T. Nelson, Mary Steenburgen, Malin Ackerman, and Betty White
Written by Peter Chiarelli
Directed by Anne Fletcher

I always kind of thought Sandra Bullock was attractive. Ever since Speed, I always liked her personality onscreen and off, despite the fact that she really hasn't starred in a bunch of good movies. So, I'll be completely honest here...I was looking forward to seeing this movie for some strange reason.

Bullock is Margaret Tate, an editor at a prestigious New York publishing company who is loathed and feared by all her employees. Her assistant Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) puts up with her only because he longs to be an editor someday and also wants a manuscript of his published. Maggie gets some awful news and is told that she is being deported back to Canada because her visa has expired. On the fly, Maggie announces that she and Andrew are marrying each other. A reluctant Andrew agrees only because Maggie agrees to help him advance in his career. In order to learn more about each other (and to prove to the INS agent that they truly are a couple), they travel to Andrew's hometown in Alaska (because things are always funnier when it's cold) and meet his wacky relatives.

The worst part of the film (and I must allow my fellow moviegoer to take credit for this) is that Maggie becomes a complete dunce as soon as she steps on the plane to Alaska. She can't wheel her luggage around; she can't walk down a ladder; she can't walk in high heels. Somehow, moving Maggie out of her "comfort zone" of NYC makes her turn into this completely idiotic bitch rather than just a complete bitch. That being said, that was really my only problem with the flick.

I actually felt like there was some chemistry between Bullock and Reynolds and both of them were perfectly fine in their roles -- even though I despised the idiocy of Bullock's character, that's not her fault. Reynolds was quite good and provided quite a bit of laughs with his dry sense of humor. The supporting cast was also certainly above par -- Craig T. Nelson (Coach!) and Mary Steenburgen were both fine as Andrew's parents, and Betty White is always a joy to watch (even if she was given some awful lines to spout). In addition, there's an amusing turn from Oscar Nuñez (best known from tv's The Office) as a jack of all trades in the small Alaskan town.

I did discover a new cinematic crush while watching this film. Joining the club that currently has Amy Adams as a member is Malin Ackerman. She plays Gertrude, Andrew's ex-girlfriend, who still holds a special place in his heart. This relationship between Andrew and Gertrude was actually a very pleasant surprise. Typically ex-girlfriends are simply portrayed as "desperate to get back their man," but this relationship was actually quite sweet.

I could certainly have just been dumb, but I wasn't quite sure where the film was headed at the end...Andrew could have easily ended up with either Maggie or Gertrude or neither. I won't spoil it for you here. The fact that it wasn't spelled out completely ahead of time was definitely nice.

Now, the movie's not perfect. Many laughs fall flat, and, like I said above, Maggie's character is pretty godawful. But, overall, it's an adequate romantic comedy.

The RyMickey Rating: C

Movie Review - X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Starring Hugh Jackman, Liev Schrieber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, and Will.i.Am
Directed by Gavin Hood
Written by David Benioff and Skip Woods

I really know very little about the X-Men comic book series. Yes, I saw the first two films, but I never saw the third. So, I went into this a little wet behind the ears in terms of my Wolverine knowledge. In the end, I don't think it really mattered. My lack of enjoyment in the film had nothing to do with the fact that I knew nothing about it going in...it had to do with the fact that it just wasn't a very good film.

The film opens in the 1860s with two horrible child actors discovering that the younger brother has a mutant power that allows him to push bones out of his hands and create "claw-life" appendages that he can impale people with (his brother has a similar power, to a lesser degree). Once the younger kid kills his father (for reasons I won't get into here), he and his older brother run away. Through a rather interesting credit sequence, we learn that the two brothers appear to be somewhat immortal as they have helped the United States on the battlefield in every war from the Civil War through Vietnam. The two brothers, Logan (Jackman) and Victor (Schrieber) are somewhat forced to join an elite group of other "mutants" who go around the world and try and help out the U.S. government. When Logan discovers that the group may not be on the up and up, he decides to leave rather than do harm to innocent people.

Living in Canada, Logan hoped to forget his mutant past, but he is soon called into duty by William Stryker (Huston), the head of Logan's former band of mutants. Apparently, someone is killing mutants and Stryker needs Logan's help. Logan refuses, but when it appears that his brother shows up in Canada and kills Logan's girlfriend, Logan agrees to allow Stryker to inject him with adamantium (a super-powerful metal) to make him a nearly invincible killing machine. Now deemed Wolverine, Logan sets out on a mission to stop the murderous streak of his brother (apparently now called Sabretooth...but I don't ever remember even hearing that name mentioned in the movie).

Yes, that's a long set-up...and if you thought it took forever reading it, it took infinitely longer watching it. Despite (as mentioned above) a promising credit sequence, the film itself falls flat often. Action sequences are repetitive (there was more than one time that Sabretooth pounced at Wolverine at the start of a fight scene) and somewhat unexciting. I'm all for ridiculous action, but there was nothing here that you wouldn't have seen in any other PG-13 action movie. In fact, there's really nothing here at all that's new. How many times have we seen a movie where, as some character is dying, they say, "I'm so cold." Really? Haven't we heard that line in hundreds of other films?

The actors, with the exception of a surprisingly engaging Liev Schreiber, were either over-the-top (I'm calling out Danny Huston here) or incredibly low-key (Jackman, that'd be you). And Wolvie's love interest played by (unknown to me) Lynn Collins was so generic, I wanted to shake some life into her.

Honestly, the flick wasn't godawful, but it wasn't even remotely good. I wasn't bored, but that could entirely be because it's the first "summer" action pic of the year.

The RyMickey Rating: D+