Movie Review - Mortdecai

Mortdecai (2015)

Starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Ewan McGregor, and Olivia Munn

Directed by David Koepp

***This film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime***

I'm not sure movies can come worse that Mortdecai.  A purported comedy, not only did I not laugh once, but I never even found a smile forming on my face.  Johnny Depp is the title character -- an art dealer, but also a bit of a deviant conniver, willing to be a bit unscrupulous in order to try and save his vast English countryside estate from going under due to back taxes.  When an assailant kills an art restorer and steals a priceless painting, Inspector Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) enlists Mortdecai's help to try and track the painting.

The problem with Mortdecai - and it's a major problem - is that the film is a jumbled mess in tone and style.  I guess one would call it a spoof of a heist flick, but director David Koepp's cinematic mess never once finds its footing.  There are mild attempts at sex comedy that fall undeniably flat, seemingly in place only to gain the film an R-rating, but even they are so childishly risqué that it seems incomprehensible that the filmmakers felt like a R-rating was the way to go with this one (which is perhaps why you can watch a PG-13 version on Amazon Prime as well).  Action sequences feel out of place and poorly staged, lacking any semblance of excitement.  Dramatic moments are played for laughs which, since this is a spoof, could have been fine, but they play out with excruciatingly mind-numbingly idiocy.

Depp plays Mortdecai so incredibly over-the-top when compared to the rest of the cast (who only play things somewhat over-the-top) that he stands out like a "character" amongst more "real" people which is never a good thing.  Everything about his performance and everything about the movie is so heinously misguided by the director and the screenwriter that after twenty minutes, I desperately wanted to turn it off, but willed myself onward so I could finalize my Worst Films of 2015 list.

I could go on with this one, but quite frankly, I'm already so irritated that I've allowed my life to spend so much time dealing with this one.  Mortdecai is undeniably one of the worst films I've ever reviewed on this blog.

The RyMickey Rating:  F